Why do guys use dating apps and act completely atrocious?

This is like the third guy I have connected with on an app that has outright acted perfect for a week then out of nowhere deletes me and blocks me.
I asked him what was wrong and NOTHING.
no response.

It’s so disgusting to act that way.
Like this is my first time using a dating app. I was looking forward to meeting a new guy or two but so far I am disgusted.

I am really beautiful and have a sweet personality so I’m not really getting this.
Updates:
It was literally out of nowhere. I don’t see why he’s upset or decided to block me. He did stop talking to me for a day so I called him out about that in a nice way. Then I just told him I was done with him. Waited two days to talk to him and I get blocked and deleted on everything!
If I’m being honest, I’m sad about this because I was excited about him and looking forward to us making plans with each other. I think he made a huge mistake.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I have a male friend that told me his experience in dating apps was exactly that. About three girls talked with him for days, everything was fine and then out of the blue they stop responding.
    I don' really know why people do this. It could be for many reasons, like "let's block her before she blocks me and I don't feel rejected" or even he just got another girl that he likes more and doesn't have the balls to tell you that. Either way don't mind them. If they do that they were not good persons to begin with.

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    • Though I understand where you're coming from, I feel you're reaching wayyyy too far when you say someone really isn't a good person to begin with just because they don't want to keep corresponding with you.

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    • Like you said not your lost anyway

    • Yeah but it still hurts my feelings.

  • The guys on dating apps know that the females on them are desperate or else they wouldn't be on there, because women can generally pick and choose who and when they have sex.
    So the guys on these apps play the role to get these "looking for a good man" type females to give up the pussy and then toss them.

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    • Thank you!!! Thank you for admitting this for all men

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    • Whatever. You know what I meant. I’m not even a desperate type at all. I was using it with pure intentions and seeing what the hype was about.
      I’m disappointed to say the least.

    • The biggest problem with these apps is that you will find women still have ridiculous expectations even after they hit their wall/expiry.

      Things you will find on most desperate female dating profiles.

      "I am just looking for a real man" <-- means "I only fucked bad boys when I was young and now my looks are fading and I need one of the guys I would have ignored in my prime to get me through the rest of my existence. "

      "My kids are my world" <-- means "I popped out a few mistakes in my wild prime and as expected I am now a middle-aged single mom, looking for someone to clean up my lurid past."

      "I am not here for Hook-ups" <-- "I have done my riding the cock carousel and now want a guy who doesn't just want me for my worn out over-used vagina, but I will still bang on the first date if I think it will make you like me."

      "Must be at least 6 foot" <-- "Even though I either look like Gollum or Jabba, I still expect males to meet shallow standards which they can't change, unlike my weight.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Dating apps aren’t usually great for dating. Go figure.
    I’m not saying you can’t find a date there; just that the majority of people who use them (boys and girls) use them for attention and/or hookups and have no intention of starting a relationship.
    He probably got bored when he realised you weren’t going to bang, or had got everything he needed from your communication.

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    • Hmmmmm... I really don’t know what went wrong. I don't know if it had anything to do with me telling him I was done with him... another girl... your guess is as good as mine. He decided to completely ignore me and delete me out of nowhere. After talking to me nonstop. And asking me out this week. So I’m confused.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Tbh I was more conservative on them when I used them. And I used my sense of humor the most to make the girls I talked too laugh and feel good.

    IF the girl started to flirt like crazy and bring up sex then I’d just play along. But I would never be “atrocious”

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    • He literally was obsessed with me then didn’t talk to me for a day. I called him out and told him I was done. Then I was like so you’re just never going to talk to me again and he blocked my snap. Blocked me on bumble. So I decided to finally text him and I let him know what I thought about it.

      Like he’s a stranger, I get it. But don’t treat people like that. It’s disgusting. But karma is quite the bitch.

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    • I plan on it. But he won’t add me at all. I can tell by how cold turkey he went.

    • He ignored me and said nothing to me

  • That's exactly how I feel as well. I'll be chatting with somebody and 99% of the time, she will just go full radio silence or delete me, without any apparent reason. I already have enough bad enough confidence issues that I can't approach women in real life, and this constant ghosting on dating sites/apps just shatters my last remaining hope of ever finding somebody.

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    • I agree. It makes everything worse.

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    • Yeah she's wrong. She probably leaves most guys hanging and has "swipe left if you're under 6 foot or don't have a beard" on her profile.

    • @young_old_soul she knew from the start she wasn't going to date you because of the distance. She just enjoyed you talking to her when she was bored.

  • Girls are just as bad I don't and never have used a dating site. From friends that have it just seems like people talk to multiple people and as soon as someone better comes along the others are ignored, but it's no good being to pushy either that will put people off.

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    • See, I didn’t do anything wrong to him. If it was another person that made him act this way then I can clearly predict her being done with him early on. I had some in depth conversations with him about other girls... he’s not onto them yet. I was actually a better choice by far. I had pure intentions.

    • You know you were the better choice, there's often no making sense of someone else's decisions. Maybe he doesn't even know what he wants.

    • It’ll come back on him. What goes around comes around. He’ll eventually realize he made a mistake. He went to an extreme. I was ready to talk to him again after the other day, so I did.

      I don't know how to meet guys in person because I’m shy.

  • You will get these people in online dating and the local bar down the street. It is something that comes with putting yourself out there. The saying goes.. when you pray for rain you sometimes have to deal with the mud. You just have to chalk it up and move on. Don't get discouraged or blame dating apps, etc. Dating apps are great and very efficient for meeting people. Most have free versions though that attract idiots. Hang in there!

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  • your looking in all the wrong places... a dating app? what are you, 45 years old or something? try going out to social events, fundraiser, maybe join a softball league, bowling club, etc etc... I can assure you people will notice you and be attracted to you by your own pure personality... no guy wants a girl who can't control her own emotions cause that just means your very demanding and desperate for attention... lastly, posting anonymous never ever lead to honest opinions.. except only mine :)

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    • What do you mean by control her own emotions? I did control my emotions.

  • To many have mental health problems on online dating services. some stalks, some others ghost.
    To much to get some need filled to feel better for a short moment.

    You probably tried to build connection through media in the first place, dragging out on it before meeting or didn't turn it sexual through media like sexting pics.
    Maybe you did appear to be a huge red flag through media no matter for fun or serious relationship.

    One big red flag for serious guys is the breeding. that you are after someone for kids or for that matter to have someone, be married, in love with love.
    Some other red flag's is.
    One sided relationship.
    Spoiled.
    Self absorbed.
    The two extremes of week person, I'm helpless, or the opposite side, doesn't need help from a man I can do it myself.
    Suffers from princess-complex.
    Are to agreeable or the opposite.
    Something sexsistic towards men.
    Political statement.
    Stating you are a femenist or some other politician group.
    Puting up children.
    To much talk about children.
    To much shallow talk about what the other concider nonsense.
    Aren't honest.
    To much game or to little depends on the other.
    Aren't straight forward or are to straight forward.
    Appear to be untrustworthy.
    Sexual mismatch.
    You appear to not be ready for the real deal but think's you are.
    You appear to be after quick fix.
    Appear to be high maintenance.
    The humor part.
    You appear to be boring.

    It's a lot of more thing's.

    The only advice is to take people with a pinch of salt, don't have presumption or expectations. Be in the moment. be honest and straight forward.
    Own it no matter if it's silence or who leads it.
    Are yourself. if you're nervous say it, don't fake it.
    Be patient with those that treat you right but don't let people use you unless you want it.
    Skip exuses. be the one taking initiative if it works emotional wise.
    Be in the moment.
    Never fake it to you make it.
    Don't be afraid of losing someone or blowing someone off.
    Put some effort.

    The only thing we can do is to throw ourselves out there and take chances to see if we get it replied in some way that works for us.
    Sometimes do we need to make the other one see us in the same light we see them.
    And nothing is perfect like in the movies.

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  • So you told him you were done with him and you're surprised that he deleted you off everything? Do I have that correct?

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    • I said that days ago.

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    • That's quite the slippery slope and, honestly, an immature thing to say. You're not really putting yourself in a good light here.

    • There’s nothing wrong w my viewpoint

  • You're whining about how people act on a dating app for losers? LOL OMFG

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    • Almost everyone uses it.

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    • You don't deserve anything. This is also a common misconception. You get what you get for the effort and work you put in. Just like EVERYBODY else. So it has nothing to do with what you 'deserve'.

    • Yes I do. It’s called STANDARDS remember?

  • You're blaming the guys, and you should be looking in the mirror.

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    • I blaming those three guys. Not all guys. I didn’t really cause this.

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    • Oh and they don’t want sex when you meet them in person?

    • Do you mean meeting the app guys? If so, then yes, of course.

  • this was part of the point of my post here, which noone likes. people lack social skills, training on appropriate, manners, all kinds of basics:

    Would you support SOWTAM (Relationship Training for Men)? ↗

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    • share some of the dialog so we can diagnose. if go too fast, too strong, people freak. had it happen more than once. written communication is the hardest...

  • He blocked you cause you said you were done with him.

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    • You think that’s it? Why would he do it two days later.

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    • Then I texted him and told him he’s wrong for acting this way with me and he is disgusting and it’s not my loss. Then I wished him luck.

    • Still, you told him you were done with him before he blocked you.

  • I will say because my brother just tried dating apps and I can’t tell you how many women he talked to or was going to meet that ended up being a scheme to get money so now anytime a woman messages him he’s like just FYI I ain’t giving you no money... it’s crazy I didn’t realize how many there were out there I almost feel sorry for the fellas in the dating world

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  • Abundance of choice. There are so many options with online dating that if someone is entirely novel all the time there is always someone else new and novel one scroll down so the idea of treating people in a dignified manner gets phased out... Especially if you are attractive because you will likely be matching with other attractive people and the attractive people have even more choice.

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  • The way that the dating apps is like this:

    -90% of the men will message/swipe right 95% of the women. Guys message and swipe right hundreds of profiles.

    -100% of the women will get increased ranking due to the amount of messages and swipes they get.

    -Women will then message and swipe right maybe on 10% of the guys they are presented with.

    -The majority of the guys rankings will plummet.

    -In the end you get 10-15% of the guys dozens and dozens of matches.
    The rest of the guys do not get any matches and say fuck online
    dating.

    -The women meet the same 10%guy that has 30 matches bothering him every day and the most the women will get from him is a casual fuck because he doesn't give a shit , he has options.

    -The women will cry that online dating sucks because it's full of players.

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  • If it makes you feel better i almost exclusively attract girls looking to cheat on their boyfriends. And other men might be into that but im not. Im looking for something serious so im having a shit time as well.

    Just take a deep breath and realize most people are trash and move on to the next. It really is them not you 9x out of 10.

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  • I met my current boyfriend via a daying app and I will tell you this, most guys there were a nighmare, those that lack any communication skills, those that just want to hook up, those that pretend that they want something more but actually want to hook up, those that just randomly stop texting you and so on. That is just the way it is, you have to accept it and go on or just not use the app, my boyfriend was that 1% of decent guys there, i was like on the brink of deleting that shit when we randomly matched. Very important: that is the internet, you only converse via text and there is an abundance of options, if you tell a decent guy that you are done with him, he won't beg, don't expect that, plus maybe, just maybe, you are patting yourself on the head too much.

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    • What do you mean by me patting myself on the head?

    • "I am really beautiful and have a sweet personality", "i think he made a huge mistake", with the second one you are either taking such a think too personal which you should never do on a dating app or are a bit stuck up about how great you are (and you probably are but to the select few ones, we can't be compatible with everyone right)

    • I agree with you. Thank you. I’ll try to find someone nice.

  • Why are u on a dating app? why dont u just go out and meet people

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    • he's not interested

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    • I’m not stressed? You’re just being a miserable bitch trying to make this about me not being good enough for some guy on a dating app. I’m anon because it’s what I choose. Who puts their pics on here? This isn’t instagram. I’m not going to shout to everyone in the world about who I am. And lmao bitch please, I am beautiful. I know. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Deal with it. You seem like the only one who is stressed. That’s why you keep running your mouth. Love to see what you look like.

      I do have other guys. In real life. That have been around for years. They never go away.

      I have no reason to lie? Lol.

      You’re cute tho... on here

    • I'm not reading your essays hun. you have way too much time on your hands.

  • It's because dating apps are for shallow people.

    Basically people just look at a row of peoples' pictures, message a half a row of them, and hook and catch.

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    • It’s all disgusting at this point

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    • Should I not use it anymore? Apparently I’m viewed as desperate

    • no, I wouldn't recommend using online if you are looking for a serious relationship. It's better to just have conversations in the real world and just ask from there.

  • lol as bad as ugly men are treated by all women, I find it hard for somebody who can reject 50 men a day

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  • You called him out for not talking to you so of course he blocked you. He realised you were super needy and not worth the drama.

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  • I have never used dating apps. It doesn't work here. If I met a sweet girl online I'd date her, respect her and marry her later on.

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  • Could have been a fake account. I've had that happen a lot on dating apps.

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  • Hmm well I get this with girls. 10mins being nice and suddely all Communication stopps

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  • He found someone better.

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  • I feel you're blonde, are you?

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  • Guys that girls match with on dating sites are a small minority and are in high demand. He probably just found someone else more appealing, and being on a dating site as a guy you learn that girls are going to ghost you as a matter of course, so it becomes pretty normal to ghost in return.

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  • cause you are all fucking the same guys lol

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    • he has 30 other girls just like you lol

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    • picture please and no make up

    • 🤣😆exactly

  • Haha its dating apps what do you expect you should know that its a shit show thats your fault

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  • Women do that shit whether you meet them on a dating app or another way. They just hate getting the shit they do done to them

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  • Don’t use dating apps, men on there are only looking for sex.

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    • Seriously?

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    • Exactly. Finally somebody with some smarts and is under the age of 18. That is exactly why a lot of them on there. When they see they can't hit up a chick to hook up with in real world, they turn right into the internet just to see if they can finally get somebody. All is so-called dating not since it's just a manipulating game. You want somebody real you got to be real with yourself.

    • @btbc92 okay you really think all guys are on there just for sex? Girls in real life are whores too

  • You act like women are little princesses on dating apps. Guess what, you do the exact same thing

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    • Personally, I don’t. It’s not about everyone as a whole. It’s disgusting to treat people like that. They all had no reason to be that way towards me.

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