Would you be turned off if a woman was more educated/successful than you?

I have to go to college and grad school, and likely at top-tier universities (ideally Georgetown for undergrad and Georgetown again or Yale for law school), to stand out in my chosen field. Guys, would you be discouraged or intimidated if a girl was more educated or successful, from a traditional standpoint, than you? I want to see if this will reduce my dating pool to people at or above my level of education or job success.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I don’t care so long as she can sort of keep up with me mentally, hopefully challenge me from time to time, and isn’t boring. Law isn’t really the most intellectually challenging field. There is a lot of stale repetition in most areas of law. It can provide a solid career, but it’s kind of an anal retentive monotony with small modifications here and there for different accounts. On top of that it tends to be very demanding of your time and stressful. You work long hours doing shit work just to earn clout in your firm. I suppose there is more variation in litigation or advocacy but ethics might make you undesirable there. All in all having an attorney as a partner could just be bad for the manipulation factor alone. A Ph. D in general though isn’t something that would dissuade me from dating a girl. For example a veterinarian, nurse practitioner, biomedical research scientist, or pharmacist would be desirable to me.

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  • Not at all. Why would I be intimidated by an educated/successful woman? Even for guys that don't like that a woman makes more than them I don't think intimidated is the right word. They are not afraid of her. They just feel bad about themselves, she makes them feel less not scared.

    This of course, aplies to guys that have really fragil egos. Your dating pool will have less of them, but more of the guys that want a acomplished woman for them. I speak for myself I woundn't date a girl that had no aspirations and goals in life and expexted me to pay for everything. I don't cared if she makes more than me or not. I have my job and my money I am not going to feel bad if she makes more than me. Which guys do you want more? Guys with no aspirations or acomplished men?

    So don't worry your dating pool will recieve an upgrade if anything.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know, I suppose it depends on the man? My boyfriend is honestly my biggest supporter. He isn't turned off by my successes and etc. If anything it's the opposite. I will say at the end of the day though, when I come home he's still lthe man of the house kind of thing. I can't be with someone who isn't dominant. I have to be like that in my external life. At home I want to be caring, nurturing me. And he allows that for me. And we support one another however we can.

    I'd say find someone that's a balance like that for you. Yes your pool will look a little small but if you're an intelligent woman and you care about your choices in life. It was already kinda small. But it's also big enough to find good guys that aren't intimidated. A good guy doesn't reay need to bring in all the bank to be a man. But that's just my thoughts, everyone's different.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • What you have to know is a girl with a good career will not turn a guy off but it won't turn him on either. A lot of women think because they are attracted to status, money, success, ambition etc. That guys will be all over them but that's not the case.

    Also most guys will work no matter how successful you are so you're not really adding that much to his life when you're working and he comes home after a long day you're not even home yet, he might aswell be single then.

    And thirdly women are hypergamous that means they're looking to date up. A guy with more mone more success than them, so actually it's you that is going to shrink your dating pool, you won't be attracted to guys who work regular jobs. So overall yes a career like that will definitely negatively affect your dating life.

    The best thing you can do is find a husband when you're still at university because you'll be surrounded by guys who are in the same field as you and probably will be successful. Later on it could get hard.

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  • Men who are afraid of successful women are weak, spineless cowards and they aren't worth your time.

    If someone leaves your dating pool because you're smart and successful, you don't want them in the pool to begin with. You won't scare off anyone who matters.

    MEN are attracted to strong and intelligent women.

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  • I think it makes us more attractive to mature minded guys.

    Young guys who have small penis syndrome, feel intimidated.

    Success is also not a black and white thing. If my future hubby was a wood mill worker making 27 an hr vs my 42 an hr as a scientist, if I die, he would still be financially stable and succesful.

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  • As far as I know - the main reason guys who are intimidated by smart girls feel intimidated is because they are afraid of getting cheated on, abused or replaced by another guy. If you can show the guy you are loyal and will not cheat on him or leave him for another guy - I don't think the guy will be upset if you are more educated than him.

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  • Not directly.

    I don't could care less about your education actually. The problem usually comes from girls that put the expectation on me to care about that and to be impressed and more attracted to them because of it. Really it's that education and success are the things they care about in men and they're just projecting that onto me.

    So that gets annoying and gross when women try to "flaunt" their success and education as if it really matters to guys.

    And then in addition to that, all the statistics as well as oftentimes personal experience tell us that women turn their success and education into something compete against; they become more demanding. In fact, the statistics tell us not only do women's expectations of men rise as women grow in success -- essentially the growing of excessive self-worth and ego which is employed in mate selection -- but it increases *exponentially.* So as a theorhetical example a woman might demand 3 times as much value in a man than a woman who is half as successful. And I'm in no way excited to contend with that.

    If a wealthier woman wants to date me then she needs to convince me that these expectations aren't there and that she really just wants my company.

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  • I wouldn't be turned off in the slightest. Having just a BA, I'd wander if you would be interested in me but no, it wouldn't be a turn off. You'll open up a whole new dating pool of people though going through that kind of education so it's definitely not going to hurt you in the dating world. If someone isn't going to want to be with you because you're "too educated" then they aren't the kind of person you want to be with anyways.

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  • Intimidated is the wrong word to use and can be taken as degrading by some.

    Some, if not most, would be discouraged. These are mostly people who your accomplishments dwarf considerably and those men who tend to be a lot harder on themselves. This will also include men who you are competing with. Its difficult to build a long lasting and loving relationship with someone you're competing with.

    You could end up dating someone you work together with rather than compete or dwarf considerably. After all, if you're going to be partners, as lovers, why not combine your strengths to create a dynasty in your chosen field of work/ study. Just a thought.

    Although, success sometimes depends on what field you're working in. What you and your industry might deem as the ultimate form of success or a standout position might differ significantly to someone else. You might be a stellar lawyer but your boyfriend is a games designer who owns and runs his own group of successful companies with everything involved in that. (true story)

    In the end, everyone's different. Personally, I find myself discouraged when I see women of higher rank. I see them more as colleagues, friends and, worst case scenario, rivals.

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  • Some people put far to much stock in level of education and perceived job success. I would imagine some guys will think you would never go for them simply because of the schools you might attend or how much money you make. The good news is you probably shouldn't be with any of those guys anyways because they are very insecure in themselves. As long as you aren't judging people for their chosen career it shouldn't hinder you at all.

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  • No way especially in this day and age. It's so tough we men need all the help we can get. It will be a severe challenge with raising children and domestic life. But by itself isn't a turn off. What is a turn off is both parties wanting things that conflict with one another, bad/unreasonable personality, try to force someone to change rather than negotiate differences.

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  • I personally would be more turned on by a woman who was better educated than myself. I think you should always try to be with and surround yourself with intelligent people. Successful however isn’t measured by career status or money. It’s measured by how happy you are.

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  • Your pursuits will not stop men from finding interest in you. It is you who will cease finding interest in men who you view as unequalled to yourself.

    Plenty of women have talked about this reality at great lengths and have written about this matter, too.

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  • No. But its not a positive. Age and debt are important in choosing a woman. Higher education is not important. So you could have all the degrees in the world but a girl with none who was one year younger is more attractive. Or if you have $50k in debt and another girl with no degree has $0 debt she is more attractive.

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  • It wouldn't make any difference to me. On paper, I'm not "well educated" (I went to community college), but I can hold my own with most people, and I respect education without being intimidated by it.

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  • No. I don't care as long as she doesn't make a big deal about it. I'm a lot smarter than my girlfriend and we never really talk about it. I sometimes use words she doesn't know, but outside of that it's not even acknowledged in our relationship.

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  • No way. I am outstanding in my own field and find it super attractive if you are a leader in yours. My humble opinion is that if guys are intimidated by you , you probably would be disappointed dating them. Worse yet, if you became anay less to be with someone it would be a waste in the most extreme sense

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  • I think its quite the opposite. usually, guys try for someone from their leagues but if you are more educated/successful. then we are the luckiest ones. "Man, an average guy like me getting a successful girl, I don't even have to work". This is what I really feel if I hit off someone from higher leagues.

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  • No. Guys are don't really care what your level of education is, or what job you have, or what you like to do. What they're interested in is YOUR level of attraction and desire for THEM.
    Seriously, your total focus in on yourself. Typical.

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  • I don't really see education equaling intelligence as educating yourself is exponentially more effective, but if it's not on paper, they don't see you as smart in the workforce. With that out of the way, not really as long as she doesn't try to rub it in my face.

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  • Any guy who is intimidated by you isn't the kind of guy you want anyway. The right guy will be proud of your accomplishments

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  • Live your life without regard to who may or may not be intimidated by your accomplishments. Some guys may feel inadequate. Other guys will be attracted. Good luck.

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  • Not turned off at all. Personally I think it makes a woman more attractive because it means she knows what she wants she takes charge of her life and more brains makes a woman a little intimidating yes but also very mystery like mmhhh I wonder what goes on in her head all day.

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  • No, I am not insecure. I went to UCI for undergrad and am going to Dale E. Fowler School of Law at Chapman. The women I date are usually older and are often already attorneys, so at present they are more educated and more successful than I am.

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  • I wouldn't worry about it. The only guys who would have a problem with your education/success are insecure guys. And you dont want to date an insecure guy.

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  • Well, the better the degree and the higher paying her job, the more expectations she is going to place on me.

    If a woman doesn't care about what I make so long as I can pay rent then I don't care about her degree or income.

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  • I like it... I want her to be better, because I need a girl with endless passion for knowledge, its what will keep us happy even at 85 old and grey for sure...

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  • We men don’t really care about your educational or financial status. We do, but it’s not an important factor to most of us. However, we are repulsed by condescending bitchy women. You just do you.

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  • Personally, wouldn't change the likelihood of getting involved. But it will keep some guys from staying involved. There's going to be complications whenever there's an 'inequality', some people are going to deal better than others.

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  • Yes, I would be turned off. But not because of her education and such - but because I know how most career-oriented womens attitudes are like. Especially their attitude to commitment and family.

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  • Of course not. I like highly intelligent womem anyway, plus my sister and mother both earned doctorates.

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  • If she thinks that that makes her smarter and flaunts it in conversation I will be pissed. If she remains the ability to be humble about her intelligence when conversing with me, then we're all gucci

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  • It’s not intimidation from guys but your desires. Will you want to date a man who is not as successful as you are? The trend of dating for women is that they tend to date up.

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  • No but I believe the way things are nowadays, after going to college you'll change and you'll yourself make your dating pool small.

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  • Most girls are higher educated than most guys so why give a shit? Doesn't say they can do more, because a stupid degree doesn't dictate your skillset

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  • No. Most guys will see you as a great catch. But you may not see them as a great catch.

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  • I find that very attractive personally, I like women who are smarter than me.

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  • Nope. I have a bachelors degree and I supported my ex getting a PHD.

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  • I like girls who are intelligent and well educated, so it's not problem for me.

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  • Educated? Yes. Successful? No.
    When a woman is more successful than her man, he is disposable.

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  • Nope. We all have a different measure for success. As long as we're both happy in our pursuits that's what matters.

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  • As long as it’s not brought up all the time of saying, “I’m smarter and more successful than you”

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  • No but its more like when that's the case the woman rejects him and his turned off by him for not being as smart.

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  • As long as she can make me some tasty sandwiches she can have 10 PhDs.

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  • No. I'd be turned off by her attitude. Is she arrogant? Does she try to make me feel small? Things like that.

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  • No, not at all. It would annoy me if she constantly pointed out her education though.

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  • An educated woman is like a monkey on roller skates. Cute to watch for a while, but the novelty eventually wears off.

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  • No, there are more ways to be successful than that, If she likes me it's for some reason.

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  • Smart women are the best, and having sex with one is even BETTER !!

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  • Well that bad because women get more freedom and after when we get marry they easily give us divorce because they have attitude about there studies

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  • If... then she's not a match.

    I would like to be with someone who is a match

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    • Even if i did think about her, she wouldn't be able to respect me, so...

      She would look down on me and I wouldn't like that so NO

    • I will respect her too much because she's more educated.
      So I will be afraid of hurting her pride.

      Yes I will be intimidated.

      Again, the feeling that she could be with a person better than me and that I am not good enough for her would eat me inside out. I would never even be able to touch her.

      I won't be able to think of her as a sexual partner.

      It will obviously be a turn off

  • As long as she doesn’t rub it in my face just to win any argument I’m fine with that.

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