Do guys really like the chase?

I personally don't get it. I read it here all the time as justification for us to lose interest in a girl when we know she likes us. Or as a reason for girls to play hard to get.

I don't care about the chase at all. There must be some effort in both parts, if I feel like I am the only one, quote unquote chasing, I will stop having interest on that girl on the spot. Do you know that girl that moderately flirts with you, but doesn't want anything? Why would a guy make an effort for someone he feel's doesn't want him and is just playing?

About losing interest when we know girls are interested. This is the best part! The fun begins now! Why would a guy lose interest after that? I really have no idea.

Maybe it's just me. How do you guys feel about this?

Do guys really like the chase?
Updates:
6d
Most girls say that guys do enjoy the chase. Probably because they had guys lose interest if they don't play a little hard to get.

On the other hand most guys say they don't like the chase. Because they feel they are just being played with.

So girls will drag things along to make sure he is what they want and that he wants them, but if they do it too much guys will lose interest to avoid being messed with.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, the girls I lost interest in like that tended to be the ones who were being flaky, either playing hard to get or just not putting in any effort expecting me to chase. Or, she became interested but I simply lost interest. It never had anything to do with her showing interest.

    If I was single and she didn't show much interest, I'd talk to other girls at the same time. Inevitably one of those girls would end up showing more interest than she did and I'd choose her instead.

    One time for example I dated a girl, the first date went pretty well I thought. But then she wouldn't give me a straight answer when I asked her out again, she took longer to reply to texts, I'd be the first one to text and she'd be the first to stop texting me so I figured she wasn't that interested. I got talking to another girl, went on a date with her in the week and at the end of the date she asked me out again that weekend. Why would I choose the other one who doesn't seem to be that bothered when this one is? Anyway, the girl I was with tagged me in a picture and the other girl went mad. I think maybe she was thinking along the same lines as some girls here but it backfired.

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    • 7d

      You legitimatly contradicted yourself in the first paragraph... last 2 sentences.

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    • 7d

      To me sounds like the 2nd girl was easy.. i guess i enjoy the push/pull. Guys who show too much interest in my opinion seem too good to be true, hence the games. I have sensed this before and it was proven to be true. I think the games help protect us, not to mention show us the guy is willing to go lengths for you. I dont see someone being too easy beneficial for either side

    • 7d

      @SexyAshh

      I don't think that showing interest necessarily makes someone easy. Sometimes it means they just don't play games. I think that this is why it backfires, focusing on the wrong things. I mean I can understand why you'd do that to avoid guys who want to hit it and quit it, but it's more about the character of the person than the games they play in the initial dating stage that matters.

      In my experience for example there are women, and I've had female friends admit this, who when they're single meet a few hot guys and end up having sex with them the same night, maybe having something casual with them. Then when they go to meet a guy they see as being boyfriend material they pretend that they never do that, that they only have sex within relationships, they play a completely different game and make him wait.

      If he judges her only based on the fact that she made him wait for sex, perhaps made him work hard to get her, and therefore thinks that this means she's a decent girl, he's a fool. Any girl can do that, does that mean that she's actually of any value? Often she isn't, these are the girls who continuously get pumped and dumped. So that shouldn't be the way you judge people because it's not that which keeps someone around anyway, like I said it's their character. Nobody stays together for years because the other made them chase, they stay because they love the person, spending time with them etc.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I personally don't get it either, and hate the chase as well. I personally don't feel comfortable in a relationship until we have the first argument ๐Ÿ˜‚ then it feels real and I can relax a bit.

    From my understanding though, some guys need the chase ๐Ÿคท it's like a psychological thing, whereby they place value in a girl based on how hard it was to "get her". The easier she is to get, their subconscious feels that perhaps they could have worked harder and so she must not be worth it. Or if she's super hard to get (i. e emotionally, physically, commitment wise) she's a worthy catch because if he can get her then it was an achievement of some sort. This is why emotionally unavailable females, or as guys like to call them "girls with an edge" or "tough girls" are an appeal because the guys feel like they have to break her walls down to get close.

    But I think this has something to do with the attachment theory. These guys prolly have had mothers that have acted distant and so they expect girls to be that way, and haven't grown out of the behaviour of seeking the approval of a distant female (whether mother or partner).

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    • 5d

      I personally don't like the chase. I might do the chasing some times but very rarely. If I don't feel or see some sort of mutual attraction or desire, I would not bother continuing to pursuit. And contrary to what people tend to say, I appreciate girls who have the guts to ask me out because of less drama and accusations. And I also find that when a girl asks me out for some reason they become even more attractive. Some men may not like it, but I definitely do.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2650
  • Men like when there's a chase, but they don't like being forced to chase; there's a difference between having to put in effort to attract a good woman, and a woman playing mind games and manipulating a guy to make him try harder.

    When you're feigning disinterest, or playing games, to create a "chase" all you're really doing is telling most guys that you are a manipulator from the start - and hardly worth the trouble.

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    • 7d

      How are they able to tell the difference

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    • 7d

      @SexyAshh Guys know about shit-tests, and for many guys just applying a shit-test will set off alarms about the girl.

      You won't be single forever, but plenty of guys are going to pass; you're saying that you pull tests, and claiming it's your nature, in the same breathe - that says "this girl doesn't even realize she's manipulative" making you high-risk and probably low-reward.

      Playing hard to get was easier when guys could only ever met the 12 other similarly-aged women in the village; girls shit-testing was accepted because their endgame was always meant to be marriage; in modern times guys have more opportunities to meet girls and know that there's plenty of them that won't play games.

      The one's saying to play hard to get probably played so hard tgat they're now 50, single, with a litter of cat-babies.

    • 7d

      Hahah. Well i guess im not wording correctly. In my opinion im either indifferent or completly obsessed. The game comes into play because i need my attention captured, its to see if you'll work for me. Once i see that, i give my all. If your not okay with that im fine with one night stands because no emotional attachments and able to hold my attention for the 1-2 hours then no more investment. My friendships follow the same path. Quality over quantity so im fine staying single until people fit what i like.

  • I think the true answer is that men like women who actually have a life they are living and aren't just sitting by their phone waiting for a guy to text them. Women and men shouldn't be 'playing hard to get' because you should already have a life outside dating.

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    • 7d

      This!!! When both are busy because of their lives and it's hard to meet the person then the real chase begins when you really need to make a way to meet but tbh artificial chase where the girl is acting to be busy! That sucks! And mostly I feel girls are like that. Especially in my age group.

    • 7d

      Exactly! The "chase" should be something that occurs naturally, not something artificial done to "test if they are really into you."

  • I do not really care for that whole "chase" thing.

    I want an assertive woman who would walk up out of no where and invite me out, not caring what anyone else thinks.

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    • 7d

      Okaay...

      Then would you like to go out with me? ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜ˆ

      Just kidding๐Ÿ˜œ

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    • 5d

      Don't lose hope. My fiancee asked me out before I asked her. She got me so it worked xD

    • 5d

      Thank you for sharing that sir, and I am happy to hear that!๐Ÿ˜‰

  • I was raised with the understanding you need to let them chase you, that they would not value you if you made it too easy, natural for guys to be intrigued by a challenge. I do believe there is scientific basis for it. Iโ€™m pretty assertive with men because Iโ€™m not going to just sit there and wait for them to notice me. However, if they are not encouraging it, I just back off so Iโ€™m not being a stalker. When it comes down to it, what guy wants to be with some pushy woman?

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    • 7d

      I think there is a very thin line between a challenge and just an annoyance. It comes down to the signs that you give and the vibe guys get from you.

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    • 6d

      You got it from somewhere... You just woke up "i'm gonna sit here and look cute, and my husband is going to fall out of the sky!" one day?

    • 6d

      @demonics Thatโ€™s not all what I said. You need to find someone else to troll.

  • Short answer, no.
    Long answer, no, stop listening to women about what men like. Women are WAY too narcissistic to remove themselves from the situation at hand. "I think guys DO like girls with full body tattoos!" ~Girl with full body tattoos.

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  • There are two types of guys who enjoy the chase. Ones are who genuinely feel interested in the girl and the chase makes them feel like she's worth it that much more, they like that the girl is not easy. and the other ones are the players, who like the chase just for the chase, after that it gets boring for them. they just like the challenge, the hunt, once they get what they wanted they start to look for a new girl to chase and get the thrill from that.

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  • Having been "that guy" at one point, I can say affirmatively that I do not like "the chase". Chasing a girl is like playing slots for the first time: you don't know that the game is rigged and on the first try, you ALMOST win. You are chasing a carrot on a stick. Because you don't know how the game works, you are convinced that you just need to be persistent enough and come up with a good strategy to win big.

    Similarly, a lot of women act interested because they have been conditioned to "play" the long con: get a guy interested and then use him for everything he's worth. Nice guys are very easily manipulated, because they are utterly convinced that women are slots and persistence/strategy/game is key, but there is no roadmap. Once they actually get the girl/win the game, then they are clueless: they were so focused on getting the prize, they didn't consider what they would do if/when they won. The prize WAS the goal and now that the goal has been attained, they have no idea how to proceed.

    "Congratulations, you got the girl. Now what?"
    "Umm, I don't know. I hadn't thought this far ahead..."

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  • if iโ€™m interested in a guy, i will tell him. if i donโ€™t, then thatโ€™s just it. there really is no โ€œchaseโ€ w me. i think itโ€™s a waste of both of our time!

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  • No, almost all guys (myself included) don't like it at all. If she seems interested and then backs away or suddenly becomes available, I will always assume that she has moved on and so will I. Besides, someone who does that is a huge red flag, as it is typical of somebody who likes guessing games and thinks that dropping subtle hints is a valid form of communication.

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  • It's not the best part for you because you are not addicted to it or gain great pleasure from it. I think that is one of the traits of cheaters constantly looking for the next conquest. People that flirt hard and tell you everything you want to hear and make you feel great, well they can do that because they have had a lot of practice

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  • Tbh i think your getting answers from non alpha males. Just saying. I would say guys love it. I've seen what happens when i give in, they stay interested much longer when chasing. I've tested it multiple times..

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  • Sorry, for me to continue pursuing a girl I like, I would have to get the feeling that she likes me too. I am not going to chase a girl as if I am animal.

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  • No!
    The so-called chase is a pain in the arse that panders to female egos.
    A female should be interested or not.
    If she is interested, move to the next stage.
    If she is not interested, tell me so that I do not waste my time.
    I find it to be irritating in the extreme that women expect men to be mind readers.

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  • As a guy I enjoy the chase, (to a point) but there has to be some kind of reward for the effort, I guess for some girls it makes them feel special in a way but if you make it too hard guys will lose interest (we are simple creatures at the end of the day) and unfortunately there are some girls out there who just like the attention and to play there silly little games which can hurt sometimes, I guess what I'm trying to say is there is a sort of balance to it.

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  • Some men like seeing women run away from him during chases to see if she is a fast runner or not.

    A fast running woman attracts men because he knows he will next training and staying in shape and fitness to keep up if he ever chases after her again.

    I can not say if women chasing men is attractive if he is slower than she expected or not. Many women will know if this applies to most women but I do not know.

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  • No we think it's dumb and annoying. Would be great if people were just honest with each other.

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  • I don't they like the chase but it happens if she already have a life outside the relationship. She is doing other things that if you didn't make the effort ahead of time for example she won't be available or someone else will get her attention.

    Feeling like you were choosen to spend time with is better than feeling like she met you because she wants to kill time or doesn't have anything better to do.

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  • We don't really have a choice unless we're the top 10% of men. So either we chase or we don't date. And the second one is becoming ever more appealing.

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  • There are always exceptions to the rule, but the rule is there for a reason. Studies have shown that men prefer to be the ones in pursuit moreso than being pursued by women.

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  • Doubt it.

    From what I believe those that chase or enjoys to chase has nothing else important to chase in their life.

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  • I don't like chasing. I can only put up with it for so long until it just feels like the girl just isn't interested.

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  • I don't chase people because of they don't want me, I don't want them in my life. Of they wanted me they should show that and not expect me to implicitly understand that when they say no what they really mean is try again. And to that end, how many times must someone try for someone else just to gain their affection?

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  • I can't speak for everyone, but I sure as hell do. I enjoy the hunt.

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  • Yes, they do. My man chased me down even though I wasn't interested at first. Like he didn't take no for answer. He would stare, find ways to be around me, talk to me, help me. So yeah, men still chase.

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  • Tbh chasing is too much work and childish as fuck. I don't have time for that. If I'm not interested then it's one of three reasons.

    1. You're just not the kind of guy I'm interested in. There really is no way around that so don't chase me. I'd let you know as well.

    2. I like you, but I'm m too busy focusing on my career and personal stuff to really put my time aside for you in the beginning. I'm not trying to make guys chase me or play hard to get. I really am hard to get because I'm picky as fuck and busy as fuck. I'll try for you once you've got my attention though and I see you're worth investing my time into.

    3. I'm in a relationship, so just stop trying.

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  • No, because even if the chase is entertaining the second it ends so does all interest. I'd rather not even bother if it's like that.

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  • Maybe for about a week. After that you just being annoying

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  • I like the fucking. Too much chasing bores me. Now, if a woman gets right down to BUSINESS, she's got my attention. If she keeps up with BUSINESS, she'll keep my attention.

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  • I would say we like the chase. I'd say we like the girl. And that's why we Chase

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  • Itโ€™s a mean game. Girls might know the weakness of a guy and they play with guys making them chase them down its about money too. A lot of prostitute do it too

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  • It's slightly fun, but for only so long.

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  • l will always chase the girl that l more that want and love so much to have her in my life and she knows that

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  • I don't and I refuse to do it. If you have to chase them they are not worth dealing with.

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  • I don't play these stupid mind games.
    Anybody who does that is evil!
    It's either on or it's not.

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  • I don't like chasing women.

    Unless they had a beauty scale of angelic like and have a good personality taste and easy going to talk to, then I'll give it shot to get to know her more. However, this is a fairytale imagination.

    Chasing for girls with no personality and acting idiotic after I the fact that she knows that I like her is a waste of time. I end up being converted into being her dog or (the friend zone, without being friends actually).

    I wouldn't say let females chase you too because I've met plenty of women who went after me that weren't right in the head. Such as purposely cheating issues, single mom issues, drug problems, SJW problems, obesity problems, and more.

    I am doomed in the relationship department.

    I am chasing for my own success though.

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  • It can be fun for a lit bit but if it's going on for over 2 months then I'm over it

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  • Well I personally donโ€™t chase. If they donโ€™t show interest I move on immediately.

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  • According to my experience guys DO lose interest if we show interest just like that

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  • Many guys like the game.
    But it soon becomes boring if it remains same..๐Ÿ˜‚

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  • I think they do๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ

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  • I dont, i like when women come to me and I dont have to do anything

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  • god no i hate it. been doing the chase for 18 years

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  • No they donโ€™t

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  • dislike

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  • Rom-coms =\ reality.

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  • No way

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  • The chase feels like a waste of time tbh

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  • I don't and I don't chase anyone.

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  • No no no no no no no!

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  • It's a really good game show

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