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Not anymore really. I used to get intimidated by attractive women but when I changed my mind set I stopped getting intimidated.What I would do is paint a picture about an attractive girl I saw. I would assume she’s this cool, smart and charismatic woman who could have any man she wanted and I’d have to be a god to even get her attention.But once I actually started talking to these women I realized how wrong I was. They’re just people. People who I’m sexually attracted to, sure. But they’re still just regular people. I learned that some of these girls I put on pedestals had zero substance. They couldn’t say anything that made my mind horny and not just my body. Nothing pulled me to who they were “as a person”. Basically some of these girls are incredibly boring. If we got in bed then what? We’d have nothing to talk about later. Some girls however are extremely cool and assuming that I’m not their type gives me a huge disadvantage. Some girls have liked me when I thought I was on my worst day. I’ve had girls invite me out for lunch within minutes of meeting them. I’ve had girls give me numbers at work and went out with me that weekend. All girls who I initially assumed were “too good for me”.And of course some of these girls are conceited, bratty or rude. But it’s never been personal. It’s their core character. They treat most people that way. So I decided being sexually attractive was no longer something I’d let intimidate or impress me. It makes me notice the girls I “might” like but I get to know them first before I let myself get impressed. Don’t judge a book by its cover. It might be boring. It could be ordinary. It could be bad. Or it could be the best book you ever read.
Wow, can I answer this for over my lifetime, when I was in hi school, like a lot of people, I was not prepared for any sort of interaction between myself and... girls. I actually had a severe crush on a girl in my class who was native American and was beautiful, found out later she thought I was gay because I never asked her out, ( she had a boyfriend most of time I knew her), but i was deadly afraid of rejection i guess. In college it started to be a repeat, until I met a friend who wasn't Joe stud in appearances but was always seeing some hottie, we had a long discussion (ok several) but the just of it was he wasn't intimidated by thoughts of rejection and he asked why I was I couldn't really answer. He ask out all the women that caught his eye, if they said yes great if no they usually became friends. My junior year I worked on it , it was scary as hell, but I kept asking myself what are you scared of, by halfway through first semester I was past it and never passed another class (no, just seeing who was still paying attention) if it wasn't for a friend like that , I'd have led a totally differant life. Hope it helps, good luck
I’m a “shy guy” (huge insult labeling guys that btw) but I’ve trained myself to always try to approach women I find attractive. I’ll make an innocent comment about something around her and see how she reacts. From there I’ll start a conversation. I’ve had some bad experiences before approaching women. One time a girl literally told me to get the fuck away from her when I approached her on a dance floor. Other times I’ve had cockblocking friends of hers disrespect me. I also always risk approaching a girl that’s taken. Unless she has a glowing visible wedding ring I simply do NOT know her relationship status if a guy isn’t embracing her. Now most of the these women have been polite but sometimes they get condescendingly rude. Ladies, it takes balls for men to approach you. Unless he makes over sexual comments or does something egregiously creepy... please be nice. If you are not interested tell him you respect his courage but just don’t feel that way. I’ve had a few girls have the class to respond to me that way, but most don’t. Most guys aren’t bulletproof. We learn to deal with rejection but we aren’t made of Teflon.
Yes.We stress about things like 'What if I say something that upsets her?' or 'What if she gets creeped out by my weirdness?'. Silence stemming from these 2 reasons feeds into the silence because if you know saying something can ruin your chances, you don't say something. And that feeds into the second thing about weirdness.If you wanna bag a shy guy, do so though co-operative activities. Something with a common objective to bond over. That way you both have a medium through which to become closer.A date where its just you and him will result in a disappointing event most of the time. We don't shine on traditional dates. Our colors show when we get to show off our mad skills at bowling, mini-golf or even (very common) video games.Sure, they have their challenges, but you will never find a more loyal and grateful guy than the shy guy. (This PSA has been brought to you by the department of Shy Boi's Adoption Agency. Or SBAA.)
Haha at least you know how to bring it in a good way.
Yes it can be intimidating. What happens is that my brain gets a little bit slowed down, so it's hard to make jokes, flirt or tease. Instead I start asking simple questions to get to know them better, so that next time I see them I can ask something like "how did your presentation go?" Now this ofcourse is seen as just friendly by the girl, maybe at best she notices I'm more interested in her than anyone else. So this usually ends in the friend zone, or I'd she suddenly mentions she has a boyfriend already I might lose interest quickly.
No, what's hard is determining if she worth taking a shot on. See when you ask a woman out you're giving her the opportunity to say "sorry, but i'm better than you". I can talk to any woman. She can be super model, a genius, a world class athlete, or just your avg. Jill. But the minute you ask her out, you're complementing her. And she can return the compliment or she can insult you. But if she chooses to insult you you can't return to the previous state. This is what some women don't get for some odd reason.
Well, most shy guys, or at least me, find all girls intimidating. [;With girls I just try really hard to act normal. When a girl I like is around though, I try to do the same as always, but certain functions "freeze". I start thinking about every move I make, where she is, what I should do next, if I should say something, until the information overwhelms me and automation takes controll.Shy guys often know more about you than you think, as they tend to observe a lot. Most of them try to hide it though, as not to seem like a creep.Take this opinion with a grain of salt, its based on personal experience.
It can be pretty nerve-wracking. Especially since I don't interact a lot. I don't care if my boss likes me, my work speaks for me. I don't care if a teacher likes me, my work speaks for me. A girl, though, I want her to like me so it's a tight rope act. I want to be myself but I want to show the best version but not overdo it. And it's made worse by the fact that I don't just go up to any girl. Odds are there won't be another girl like this for a while. So... Yeah. It can be tough.
Oh boy. Well yes, I am afraid of fucking things up. I am polite and kind. I try to through in some jokes. Recently I have started being a bit more forward bc my rare, subtle flirting wasn't being recognized until after they new I liked them.I try my best to not creep, stand with confidence, ask them questions about their hobbies and taste.
Yeah, but it's less intimidating and more nerve racking, cause you don't know how they'll respond. Typically the first words are the hardest, once someone has initiated conversation then it's all good from then onward, and I tend to be a lot more friendly and funny when talking to someone I like.
Yes they can b. U jus be nice or cool n don't or do anything that makes u seem to stupid or foolish n don't mention sex unless she does n be yourself cause if she don't like u 4 u then she's not worth the time or effort u wanna make it easy for yourself I would think n take your time b friends cause rushing things usually it comes out bad or worst
It is intimidating to talk to someone we like because we want to look best in their eyes. When we care about what others think about us our communication and behaviour become limited. while interacting with them for everything they say we think of many responses in mind say the optimal one. But once we familiarise with them and become good friends we are our natural selves and be open to them.
Men are simply not intimidated by any woman. Ever. Well, unless she's literally going to kick his ass. Shyness isn't intimidation, and social skills are learned. Introversion doesn't not indicate shyness either, it's a personality type.
FUCK. YES. The fear of not knowing exactly how forward to be leaves me always being too polite---friendzoned constantly because I fear a girl I'm interested in thinking I'm a creep for approaching. This is clearly a personal problem, but it's nothing anyone can guide you through. Every time I actually attempt to talk to a girl with that intent they can smell the fear from a mile away and I can see it turns them off.
I find girls who are receptive to my advances, intimidating. In my mind, it’s like “Oh she knows how to play”.Girls who have a 10 mile waiting line are a turn off. The herds of sheep can follow that star, I’m going the other way.
Do you feel the same way about girls that already have a relationship? Is that a turn off too?
@white_fang Girls in a relationship are fair game to me. Some want Validation, some are seeking to replace their men, some just want to fill the void that’s in their relationship.I don’t go after girls that are taken unless she gives strong signs.
OH MY GAWD, YES!Sometimes I behave weird. Sometimes I force myself to play it cool with varying degrees of success. Sometimes I come clean abouty what's going on. That usually works best, but it takes a moment of summoning up all my courage.
How do you play it cool?
Not very well.A lot of smiling and nodding and keeping my mouth shut OR morphing into this suddenly witty uberflirtatious guy.
I will think a guy behave like this is a sign that he is not interested in me
Sure it can be, but muster up the courage and go talk to them. It's the ability to finesse a bad situation. Not talking about being a goof ball but just be smooth.
there's an autistic degree of stigma effective neurotic inhibition from males which will 'intimidate' them from propositioning a female in standard european courtship if they are dared to. But its just because they weren't friends beforehand.
it was for a loooong... toooo loooong time. now it is not hard once established, getting the first contact/conversation might be.
Girls in general are intimidating. They can destroy a mans world and life with one word and for zero reason.
What words and actions destroy men’s world?
False rape claims. Considering basic interest rape. Like the majority of the me too movement.
@confusednbored girls are very likely to tell their friends you're a creep if a move didn't go well. And with some of the girls not really giving a response (or we miss it) it's hard to tell where we stand.
Must had been trying real hard if you got hit with a false rape claim.
@nuuuu Nice try. Your virtue signaling shaming tactic doesn't stop the truth from being true. THE MAJORITY of METOO claims were "unwanted advancements" and if you pulled your head out of your ass and looked at 5 seconds of information outside of trying to look "woke" to the women in a pathetic attempt to get attention from them... You would see that "unwanted advancements" was shit like ASKING THEM OUT! So fuck off with your petty bullshit and be a cuck somewhere else.
I have so much trouble with small talk so I usually try to get too deep too fast, hoping to get on a real level. It very often puts people off. :(
Like how? Wow it needs sort of language skill to go deep in a short period of time. What are the tricks?
Ahahah, good question! I want to talk about what makes you tick I guess. What you love and don't love. Things in your life that made you the person you are. I quickly run out of runway when just doing 20 questions, like what's your favorite food, color, tv show, book etc. Does that make sense?
Lol. Ok make sense. I was thinking of something deeper lol
Nahhhhh. No one intimidates me. I am who I am and if she likes it fine. If she doesn't that's fine too.
For me, its intimidating because you think that the first time you do something weird, she'll never talk to you again.
After how many times you will feel comfortable?
Well I've approached around 4 different girls in the last 3 years or so. So far it hasn't changed, except now I'm starting to think that there just isn't anyone out there for me.
I wish I could talk to a not so good looking girl the same way I would with a pretty girl :( I feel u on this one
Definitely. My method for dealing with this is to fake confidence. Keep telling yourself that this ain't a big deal and after awhile the fake confidence sort of morphs into actual confidence, and talking is way easier
Yes its very intimidating if she's a social butterfly.. If she's timid herself, Ill just start a convo
Yes. And we behave poorly because we're scared lol. Duh
5 second rule. if you see a girl you like immediately go up to her and say hi before the 5 seconds are up that way you won't get cold feet or act shy or nervous and you'll be forced to talk to her
Yea its pretty difficult to me, the girls I liked probably think I'm an arrogant rude person. Its hard to hold eye contact with a cute girl. I just hate it
The only way out of the forest on these ocassions, is through it. Approach her directly and see if what attracted me is actually in her or not.
Yeah I get the sweats from the get go. I try to be very picky in what I’m talking about to avoid any weird moments.
I normally find it hard to speak, but I muster up the courageI often say stupid things 😂
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