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From a very young age, boys and men are taught to "be tough" and "shake it off" and "be a man." And while men are inherently less emotional than women, we quickly come to understand that society doesn't want emotional men, and really only tolerates men being emotional at very specific times.Men are not used to being emotionally vulnerable - we actively work against it in a daily basis, which is one reason why men constantly put down other men: it's not that we don't like other guys or that we believe that what we say about them is true - rather, it's about mutually toughening up each other.Being in a relationship means being emotionally vulnerable, and that's terrifying for a lot of men, who either have very little experience being that way, or DO have experience being emotionally vulnerable, but it's all NEGATIVE experience - such as their dad calling them a baby or a sissy for crying.Many women would welcome guys being more emotional and more emotionally honest around her, but there are also women who tear into men when they show emotion, and that will cause most men to instantly lock down their emotional side. Further, many women will get into a relationship with a man, and if a time comes when they argue or fight, she will often attach his emotional vulnerability in order to badly hurt him - which it usually does - but also teaches him to be much less willing to be emotionally vulnerable again.
Men aren't scared to fall in love. That's an assumption.However, men are socialized from very young ages to be stoic, strong, and act tough, even if it means losing everything. Men who show their emotions are called "sensitive," "sissy," or generally seen as weak. They're mocked by men and women alike, but for different reasons.Because of this, men rarely know how, or are even allowed, to show emotions beyond anger and happiness. Love is a complex emotion, as it can contain others such as love, anger, pain, and even a sense of duty.In any case, society has long expected men to bury their feelings, go kill themselves in war, or self deprecate. Of course, men also are far more likely to commit suicide, drink heavily, and be impulsive, because of poor social standards, and little to no help for when they do come forward.Best case in point... female on male rape. It's denied, ignored, and men who even think it happened are assumed to be lying, or have mental issues, while being mocked. That screams a healthy societal attitude toward men, doesn't it?
Because when they do, they are often mercilessly shamed by others, and more so by women than men.Also, a sizable percentage of women get turned off by emotional guys. Men are given no incentive to show emotion.A lot of women don't even try to understand what us men experience growing up. When you're a child, as a boy, often when you cry, you are told to "Man up!", or "Why are you crying?", or "Walk it off.", while they see their sisters immediately being comforted when they cry regardless of age.Decades of conditioning and testosterone; that's why.
Biological programming. Throughout evolution males have been the hunter gatherer, men would have to kill others to protect there women and children, hence could not display any weakness, so emotions could not be brought to the surface, because we have to be firm and strong, it doesn't mean we dont feel emotions, it just means we dont express them as girls do, because females were the ones that raised the children and taught morality, and they were a "check mate" to a mans behaviour, which we still see echoed today, women telling men to "button up that shirt properly" "dont be a pig" etc, im not starting a debate with fanatical, delusional feminists here, im just expressing an opinion based on ideas of evolution
Not gonna give you a typical answer you probably heard a hundred times. Instead, I'll propose you a scenario:A guy come's to you crying about how he lost his job. He is looking for a shoulder to cry on and choose's you cause you're their best friend. He's a sniveling mess and can't stop. How dose that make you feel? Is he suddenly more attractive?How about this one: Your boyfriend tells you he loves you all the time, and always goes out of his way to make sure you're happy. He cancels plans, blows off friends, and even takes time off work so he can spend as much time with you as possible. He messages you constantly and never misses a day. He buy's you gifts and showers you with praise.How dose that make you feel?Reading through my post, I kind of get some malicious vibes from it. Just wanted to clear the air and say I mean no malice. Not really sure how to convey it in words, but yeah. Hope this gives food for thought.
Growing up. Guys are told that we're expected to be strong enough to face and brush off anything that comes our way and keep going without a second thought. As if we're emotionless robots. But that's just it. We do have emotions/feelings we feel the pain of a breakup. But we are expected to act like it isn't a big deal. But even if you can hide it well outside. On the inside the pain is there. Bottled up because if we let it out we're considered weak. It dosent matter who you are man or woman. A person can only take so much. Before they're afraid to get hurt again. The possibility of love will show its self again. But having been bit by it before. Who's to say it wouldn't happen again. Then you have more pain kept inside to deal with. I went through a break up recently and honestly I dont want to fall in love ever again. I'd rather keep love out of my life and die alone than risk being hurt again. To me it isn't worth it.
Because ultimately we know if we show it, we will be shunned by women and eventually our fellow men. Men help each other to an extent, but they eventually draw the line.Women say they like guys to show emotion and open up, but that doesn't make them manly in their eyes at the subconscious level. The more a man dies that, the more women lose attraction
I can only speak for myself and that is because I don't like being open to people mostly. I have somewhat unreasonable fears of being cheated on, left alone or betrayed. I also don't like being vulnerable and predictable to anyone. Some people say I am too hard on myself but better this way than going through all that :D
cause specially guys your age don't know if they won't meet someone they like way more a few days later. they don't yet have a scale for reference to know what love really is. just like girls by the way. they just like the idea. they don't really know what it is either.
Kind of bitter truth...Man's are very innocent by heart but many of the cases woman takes advantage & play with his feelings for her personal stuff, if you love someone and any how knowing that she is taking advantages of his emotions just imagine how someone feels..
We are abused emotionally when young so trusting and giving of oneself is scary, risky. It's vulnerability and weakness... what we are trained not to show anyone. We are supposed to have it for our mate in some ways, but as well... if we show it, she may feel insecure and leave. So we learn to block all that. It's an emotional mess...:)
"love" is what prevents boys from becoming men. What "love" , means for a woman is what she can get from a man. That's all women care about. give me give me give me give me. Women don't care about men. They only care about themselves. Any man who doesn't want to accept this truth is miserable for his whole life and destroys himself in the process through marriage.
Over my lifetime so far I have developed a stand by and watch preference. I like to keep things simple. I would rather not get in a relationship based off feelings. I would prefer a mutually beneficial relationship. But in this day and age it seems more logical to me to keep it me myself and I. And letting emotions control you can lead to bad things.
I don't know if anyone is necessarily scared to fall in love, more of just selective with it until it's a guaranteed thing. I don't know about all guys but my friends seem to be pretty open emotionally, just more in private instead of wearing it on their sleeve, just sharing it with close friends ya know? My reason though is that I simply don't feel very much emotion, just tend to be content most of the time.
The big issue is that when a guy shows his emotion some women will find it "weak" while in reality, we've all have emotions. The problem is which person do we decide TO trust. Some women (like many had said here) would use this knowledge to manipulate men, leaving this into a problem. Other women will see this as something positive in the sense that the guy has "feelings", making it something valuable and worth protecting, taking care of. This can happen to both sides (male and female). Another part of the issue is the "stereotype" for guys in which no adays its still present, not as much in the 60's. Its just a matter of choosing the right person to open up.
I think the modern dating scene and war on men has formed this ordeal. If you look at the past men and women would marry very young, have children and all that. Now its not uncommon to meet men in their 40s with failed marriages, lost everything and very negative, younger guys hear these stories and it is scary.
Personally, the main reason for this is that I do not know what else to do. When I am unsure about a situation, I interact with courtesy and professionalism but avoid anything too personal. Most guys are more unsure around a woman than they are with anyone else.
I'm a loaded microcosm, the best way for me to explain is for somebody to just DM me. However I'll say:1. I don't trust you2. I don't like me and think you can do better3. I value my freedom & independence4. I'm problematic, stubborn and very private.And a ton more reasons.
Love makes you stupid and emotions are leverage to be used against you. Some men are quicker to figure this out and refuse to be controlled.After all, that's exactly why women want a man to fall in love with her and be emotional... to control him.
Wtf is wrong with u
Why do you want a man to fall in love and show you his emotions?
This is a very judgmental society and this is accurately reflected here on GAG. We will certainly be labeled weak, wimpy and undesirable... and those are just the mild ones. As a shy guy, I know I already have 2 strikes against me. Most women hate us, so I never show emotion.
Real men look for love and when they find it they nurish it to its full potential. Real men do show emotion. It's sad that so many "tough" guys are really just scared boys putting on a show. Just be yourself
These guys answered better than i can, suffice it to say ,, just wondering,, is opening a Pandora box into a perspective you cannot relate to. But should gain an appreciation for it would save you a lot of trouble later onm
My truth is that I'm scared to be hurt again. My relationship experiences have been nowhere near great, and now I just don't have the drive to show such emotion because of the fact that I could end up getting hurt again.
We're not. We're hesitant to get married because we don't want you to own hald our shit and then leave us high and dry. We're not hesitant to show emotion, most of us just have a resting jerkface.
Because from a very early age we're taught that showing emotion is feminine and weak. It's drilled in to our heads so we often act disconnected without even realizing we're doing it.
I don't think any guy is scared to fall in love or even hesitant to show emotion. If you have anything common like something you can have an intimate conversation about. You're all set. Ohh, he could actually not be into you. I mean seriously, if a guy really wants you than he'll let you know. I mean it's a guy's job and honestly I think it's way more fun when there's a chase. Which doesn't mean you turning him down for no reason.
I'm not afraid to love. I want to be in love. I wish I had a girl that I wanted to marry right now.For the option thing, it's a stereotype that men are considered weak if they show emotion, it's not weak. It's only bad to lose control of your emotions, mind over feelings. its important to have a strength of will, but dont lose the humanity of our emotions.
Because women don't like when men show emotions. And they're not like women, once we get hurt we come to reality that this dating has gone to hell and it's not worth putting feelings out there for all these terrible women, and no I'm not saying it's just women, men too, people as a whole suck to date nowadays.
Raised from early age by both parents and peers as well as society at large that its shameful for them to Express anything other than anger or nothing, its super unhealthy and so far nobody cares to fix it
I'm not scared to fall in love, I'm scared that if I show emotion or that I'm very caring / giving that she'll reject it because its not manly (as it's happened to me before).
Women are untrustworthy in our world today, trust has to be earned over a large amount of time. Without trust, men cannot show love.
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