Why should I stay alive, have nothing to gain or lose, don't have a girlfriend, or suitors, sex, friends, skills, work, studies, nobody take care me?

If I had been born a woman I could find someone to take care of me, not just one, THOUSANDS, just with a picture in Tinder and no description, it may sound manipulative but there are very men submissives or emotionally broken , and with money and rare fetishes in addition. Could I find someone? I don't know, that is not encouraged in men, it is not acceptable, nor do they give advice on taking a passive role. Maybe I should concentrate on beauty like Dorian (although he also played the piano), so I would have at least one virtue. But I think it better if I killed myself because nobody loves me in this world, I have all the cards against me, no much people go with the sad, lazy, shy and crazy ones. They do if is a woman and she is atractive... is a simple role.
Why should I stay alive, have nothing to gain or lose, don't have a girlfriend, or suitors, sex, friends, skills, work, studies, nobody take care me?
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