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I've been told by many that men and women can't be just friends and that usually men befriend women they're attracted to. I've found that to be untrue however, at least in my personal experience.
Updates:
- Yeah, I have plenty, even ones I find sexually attractive. It's common here in Japan. I think the types who have a difficult time with this have a difficult time dating or something and lack many options, so maybe they start crushing and obsessing on the first person of the opposite sex they find attractive that they're friendly with.
I never had that much difficulty getting a date whenever I wanted so it's not like I'm going to crush and develop those types of feelings towards one of my female friends even if she's very attractive. We don't have that kind of dynamic and chemistry. Also in my case, we tend to hang out in groups including with each other's dates/SOs, so I often become friends not only with the girls but also their boyfriends (and nowadays, husbands). Then there's also bro code and things like that to prevent me from fantasizing and developing feelings of a kind that would interfere with a healthy relationship.1|00|0Is this still revelant?[...] of a kind that would interfere with a healthy [friendship].
Of course, I find some sexually attractive. I still have a caveman "hubba bubba" instinct if I see one of my attractive female friends on the beach in a swimsuit bending over, and maybe it's a little more exciting than a complete stranger given that she's my friend. But it's just like a primitive thing. It's not enough to make me desire her in some strong way that will make me start crushing on her or getting jealous if she dates other guys or whatnot. I'm happy when she dates another guy and I wanna meet him and we can all hang out and have fun.But in my rude opinion, it's like I keep hearing from guys that he's gonna sexually desire an attractive one in a way that messes things up. I think that's kind of desperation if he's not pickier than just a girl he finds sexually attractive that he can have fun with as just a friend. If you imagine like a young Brad Pitt, he probably wouldn't have any difficulty having plenty of attractive female friends and he's probably going to be much pickier than that about who he dates and goes after. Not saying I was anywhere close to Brad Pitt in popularity among girls, but that's an extreme example... but I was at least enough to get girls approaching me regularly and giving me their number. I had options.
There have also been cases where the sexual attraction was very mutual but it's like I don't wanna go for it. For example, I have this friend who's very attractive and she's very funny and so fun as a friend since she's a professional comedian, and we've gotten frisky at times, but she tends to sleep with a new guy every week or two and dump him... like her "boy toys". I didn't wanna become one of her boy toys. I'm good with her just as a friend. She's an awesome friend in my opinion but probably horrid date.
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In my case as well, I'd separate "sexual attraction" from "sexual desire". For example, a pornstar who gangbangs guys on a regular basis can trigger "sexual attraction". A primitive side of me will wanna sleep with her. But I don't actually want to sleep with a pornstar. Does that make sense? It doesn't seem to make sense to a lot of guys on here asking which pornstar you want to sleep with. I don't want to actually sleep with any pornstar even if I find some of those pictures enticing. It's like a great chef might be able to serve human eyeballs and season it so nice that it smells awesome to my nose and a part of me wants to eat it, but I don't *actually* want to eat human eyeballs. My nose is tricking me here.
- As a guy with many female friends (that based on other ppl’s opinions I’ve heard are considered “good looking”...
... yes it is totally possible.
Believe it or not, looks are not EVERYTHING to a guy.
Every female friend I have, there is some incompatibility that would be a dealbreaker for dating, but is a non factor for friendship.1|00|0Is this still revelant?
Most Helpful Girls
- Yes ofc they can lol. All those people who're saying it's impossible are speaking from inexperience, since they never had one.1|00|0Is this still revelant?
- It’s not that hard to just be friends with someone. One of my best friends is a guy.1|00|0Is this still revelant?
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219- I have women I'm friends with, mostly it's distance that makes that possible, when we see each other we screw like crazy, we say I love you pretty much every time we talk. My wife is fine with it and knows about all of them, ironically the only one she does not like at all is the only other one who's Asian.
Anywho, not sure what 'just friends' is, is it being more discreet or something?0|00|0 - Is it possible for men and women to be friends? Sure... it's just not likely and it takes 2 rare personalities. And, if you have lots more guy friends than girlfriends; I suggest you keep a close eye on your drinks.
My belief is that friends are people you can/could/do love but can't/won't sleep with. When you get down to it, that's the truth of the matter for all friends of any gender.1|00|0 - Nope I can honestly say I have no female friends. Even tho on Facebook it would seem I have a decent amount.
But I don't talk to any of them and I can't remember the last time I actually hung out with a girl.
Even in college I only met up with girls for projects or school work.
It was never to hang out just because.1|00|0 - Yes they can. Admittedly it generally starts out with one being attracted to the other etc. But you can be friends with your friends girlfriend or wife for example without it being sexual.1|00|0
- Well I have few female friends that I could fuck but dont want to aka sure im not blind I see that they are attractive but I am not romantically interested1|00|0
Anonymous7 moOnly if either or both are not attracted to the other. But usually the man is going to be attracted to the woman and is going to take certain things the wrong way thinking she likes him and she does not, then his feelings get hurt. So do not become friends with attractive females, if you are an unattractive male.1|00|0- No. This is settled science. Google it.
One or the other will always want more. There's a reason they were attracted to each other in the first place.1|00|0 - Anonymous7 moFuck no.
You will find simps who will tell you otherwise but NO straight male makes time in his life for the ugly girl.
You will never find a straight guy texting ugly fat Bertha just to see how her day is.
We keep women around that we find sexually attractive.
As a female you may have males who you believe to be just friends, but they are generally the simps who are to afraid to lose what they have or to make a move.0|02|0I don't know I've had a guy be a really good friend to me but not be interested in me at all. He even told me he isn't seeking a relationship at all anytime soon and he's never been in one by choice.
I also have other male friends who aren't as close but still I believe 100% that they're not attracted to me and I'm not attracted to them.
- Yes, my best friend is a good woman. We are just friends but hold no secrets between us.1|00|0
- I have plenty of female friends I do not ever want to date. I also have one I want to date if my current relationship were to end. I don't think that's going to happen soon though.1|00|0
- well for me its at first attraction than if a girl says no than friendship so for me no i usually don't want friendship from a girl unless were childhood friends1|00|0
- It depends. But I think women can have guy friends. I don't really have female friends but I like to have a few female friends so I can see what it's like to have friends of the opposite gender.1|00|0
- Well you answered your oen question1|00|0
Anonymous7 moNo they can’t be just friends1|00|0- Of course they can. many of them are.1|00|0
- Those who can, can. Those who cannot, cannot.0|10|0
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