Why does he have a different personality interacting with me?

Question

I met this guy a few months back at a bar, he worked there and now we talk somewhat as friends. The more I talk with him, the stranger it is, not necessarily in a bad way. When he's with his friends in his public snaps, he talks really rough and sometimes makes sexual innuendos or something, but with me he's almost like a different person. He has been snapping me pictures of adult puzzles he has been doing (and went to the store to look for more, lol). I told him he's really nerdy lol. And he never made an inappropriate comment to me or anything. He also used to send me videos of him working on his house, so just normal stuff. I don't know what version of him is real, and if he talks rough with other girls but not me? I just don't know why he has two different personalities.

Answer 1

RawIronhide | 214 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 7

Well they are both him. Probubly the way he is around his friends is the ruggid cool guy part of himself but exadurated. I would say the way he talks to you is more genuine but it's not him in whole either. It's all him, who he really is, is all of them at once but no doubt he shares more about what he is really feeling with you.

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1 Person

RawIronhide

+1 y
Hey walking contradictions are a good sign it shows a mature adaptive ability to not get stuck on ideology or to define gis personality by social standards. Look for these traits it shows he's dignified and self governing.

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Asker

+1 y
But for him to criticize someone for being stupid and arrogant while he himself acts like that at times is hypocritical.

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RawIronhide

+1 y
Yeah, we're all human, not all of us have unlearned hypocrisy or viciously judging others blind to our own faults. There will always be a trade off maybe he'll keep learning.

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Asker

+1 y
I asked him if he had been in love before. This was a personal question I realize, and I was a little surprised about it when he said he had been and still keeps in contact with her. He said that he still talks with her and asks for her advice. This was just another indicator that he doesn't really value me or see a future with me since he knows this would make most girls uneasy to get into a relationship with someone like that. He also tended to never ask me any questions about myself, so there wasn't a deep curiosity there about my life. I think he wanted a connection with me, and perhaps a relationship, but would have never had a deep attraction for me like some men might.

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RawIronhide

+1 y
Well, thats something you have to take into consideration. To be honest it would throw me off to if someone was still talking to someone they had feelings for, but that doesn't mean he can't be available or isn't interested in you. Maybe he just sucks at asking questions. Never the less if you think someone els can love you better then you have the right to look for that person. If he truly cared about you, he would encourage it.

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Asker

+1 y
I told him that I get jealous in relationships and stuff before he even mentioned her. Then after I asked if he was ever in love with anyone, that's when he mentioned her. He would have kept her hidden from me because he never brought up other girls before. Now I'm glad that I know. It showed me that he doesn't really care about my feelings or understand how much I truly like him and that it made me feel quite bad.

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Asker

+1 y
It made me realize that I wasn't over him. I thought the infatuation wore off, but I actually became more curious about him since the last time we spoke.

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Asker

+1 y
I think he likes me to an extent, maybe to a great extent, but not enough passion and courage to go after what he wants. He's probably too afraid to beg the other girl back to move in with him, or he's allowing her to keep him emotionally tied to her all these years. She lives far away, that's what's keeping them apart- he didn't want to move.

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Answer 2

RawIronhide

Hey walking contradictions are a good sign it shows a mature adaptive ability to not get stuck on ideology or to define gis personality by social standards. Look for these traits it shows he's dignified and self governing.

Answer 3

Asker

But for him to criticize someone for being stupid and arrogant while he himself acts like that at times is hypocritical.

Answer 4

RawIronhide

Yeah, we're all human, not all of us have unlearned hypocrisy or viciously judging others blind to our own faults. There will always be a trade off maybe he'll keep learning.

Answer 5

Asker

I asked him if he had been in love before. This was a personal question I realize, and I was a little surprised about it when he said he had been and still keeps in contact with her. He said that he still talks with her and asks for her advice. This was just another indicator that he doesn't really value me or see a future with me since he knows this would make most girls uneasy to get into a relationship with someone like that. He also tended to never ask me any questions about myself, so there wasn't a deep curiosity there about my life. I think he wanted a connection with me, and perhaps a relationship, but would have never had a deep attraction for me like some men might.

Answer 6

RawIronhide

Well, thats something you have to take into consideration. To be honest it would throw me off to if someone was still talking to someone they had feelings for, but that doesn't mean he can't be available or isn't interested in you. Maybe he just sucks at asking questions. Never the less if you think someone els can love you better then you have the right to look for that person. If he truly cared about you, he would encourage it.

Answer 7

Asker

I told him that I get jealous in relationships and stuff before he even mentioned her. Then after I asked if he was ever in love with anyone, that's when he mentioned her. He would have kept her hidden from me because he never brought up other girls before. Now I'm glad that I know. It showed me that he doesn't really care about my feelings or understand how much I truly like him and that it made me feel quite bad.

Answer 8

Asker

It made me realize that I wasn't over him. I thought the infatuation wore off, but I actually became more curious about him since the last time we spoke.

Answer 9

Asker

I think he likes me to an extent, maybe to a great extent, but not enough passion and courage to go after what he wants. He's probably too afraid to beg the other girl back to move in with him, or he's allowing her to keep him emotionally tied to her all these years. She lives far away, that's what's keeping them apart- he didn't want to move.

Answer 10

Browneye57 | 3.8K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

He wants in your panties. Duh. So he's trying to impress you, romance you, comfort you. His game isn't very good. LOL

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1 Person

Asker

+1 y
He knows that's not happening. 🙂

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Browneye57

+1 y
So it's going NOWHERE. Got it.

Reply
Asker

+1 y
Once you've experienced the flirtations of romantic and charming foreign men, American men don't stand a chance! 😂

Reply

Answer 11

Asker

He knows that's not happening. 🙂

Answer 12

Browneye57

So it's going NOWHERE. Got it.

Answer 13

Asker

Once you've experienced the flirtations of romantic and charming foreign men, American men don't stand a chance! 😂

Answer 14

neurolove | 233 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Explorer

Well the rule is that if he treats you differently from others, it means he likes you a lot.

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1 Person

Asker

+1 y
I'm just trying to figure out who he truly is.

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Asker

+1 y
The nerdy nice guy or the rough redneck type of guy

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neurolove

+1 y
Maybe he's a bit of both.

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Asker

+1 y
I get that where different around friends, but to be totally opposite? I don't know it's weird for me.

Reply
Asker

+1 y
We*re

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neurolove

+1 y
Well is there one side of him you like better?

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Asker

+1 y
I like the rough part a little bit bc it's manly, but not to the extent of making rude chauvinistic comments. He surprised me by saying he didn't like Trump because of stupid and arrogant stuff he said, but he does the same stuff. I don't know if he realizes he's a walking contradiction. I like him how he behaves with me. Although he did slip up his facade and I chewed him out, haha.

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neurolove

+1 y
Sounds like it's a good thing he's both. He got you guessing and interested. Enjoy it while it lasts. Sounds like maybe that is his intent.

Reply
Asker

+1 y
So he's just pretending at this point to keep me interested? I am intrigued, but the infatuation has worn off to the point I can see more clearly and I'm not invested anymore. I'll be nice to him but I told him that we've got different beliefs and so a relationship can't work out.

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neurolove

+1 y
Oh if you said and then he changed. I would think the latter personality is his real personality.

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neurolove

+1 y
*that

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Asker

+1 y
No he didn't really change after I said it. I told him like a month or so ago that it won't work out then I stopped messaging him. Then I messaged him the other night just to say something quick but ended talking to him a longer time. Now I feel like I gave him hope again. But I was more upfront and asked questions that I was too afraid to ask before. I deleted him off my snapchat so that I wouldn't be tempted to message him again. However he does to me and I've been responding. I don't mind chatting once in awhile because I got over him quite a bit so.

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Answer 15

Asker

I'm just trying to figure out who he truly is.

Answer 16

Asker

The nerdy nice guy or the rough redneck type of guy

Answer 17

neurolove

Maybe he's a bit of both.

Answer 18

Asker

I get that where different around friends, but to be totally opposite? I don't know it's weird for me.

Answer 19

Asker

We*re

Answer 20

neurolove

Well is there one side of him you like better?

Answer 21

Asker

I like the rough part a little bit bc it's manly, but not to the extent of making rude chauvinistic comments. He surprised me by saying he didn't like Trump because of stupid and arrogant stuff he said, but he does the same stuff. I don't know if he realizes he's a walking contradiction. I like him how he behaves with me. Although he did slip up his facade and I chewed him out, haha.

Answer 22

neurolove

Sounds like it's a good thing he's both. He got you guessing and interested. Enjoy it while it lasts. Sounds like maybe that is his intent.

Answer 23

Asker

So he's just pretending at this point to keep me interested? I am intrigued, but the infatuation has worn off to the point I can see more clearly and I'm not invested anymore. I'll be nice to him but I told him that we've got different beliefs and so a relationship can't work out.

Answer 24

neurolove

Oh if you said and then he changed. I would think the latter personality is his real personality.

Answer 25

neurolove

*that

Answer 26

Asker

No he didn't really change after I said it. I told him like a month or so ago that it won't work out then I stopped messaging him. Then I messaged him the other night just to say something quick but ended talking to him a longer time. Now I feel like I gave him hope again. But I was more upfront and asked questions that I was too afraid to ask before. I deleted him off my snapchat so that I wouldn't be tempted to message him again. However he does to me and I've been responding. I don't mind chatting once in awhile because I got over him quite a bit so.

Why does he have a different personality interacting with me?

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