Why all of the guys I fall in love with are assholes and players?

Question

Answer 1

SjE78 | 665 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

you just maybe haven't met the right type of guy tbh
the players tend to mislead their intended victims into believing they are genuine, want to settle down, want to find love, want to... blah blah... when in reality they just want to get what they want from you and then dump you when they have...

genuine people won't just want one thing, genuine people actually want to share a life with someone special
pisses me off tbh that those arseholes are actually making women untrusting of genuine guys... they hurt them and move on, we tend to stay and end up having to reearn the trust and reassure them that we are there for the long haul not a couple of flings

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Answer 2

Anonymous

I don't know, you didn't really provide many specifics.

Could be a variety of reasons, I'm sure. But if I had to take a guess, and this is just a guess knowing nothing about you or your situation, I would guess that you probably look for the wrong qualities in a guy. If you look for very handsame, very confident, very masculine guys, who are smooth talkers, extraverted, etc. then you're very likely to find a lot of assholes and players. If that is indeed the type of qualities you look for, and you want a serious relationship with someone who really loves you, then you might want to start prioritizing other qualities.

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1 Person

Opinion Owner

+1 y
Handsome*
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Oh, another theory: Could be the places you meet them. Probably a lot of guys you meet at clubs will be players, for example.
Asker

+1 y
So normal guys can’t be handsome, confident and extroverted? Based on what you’re saying normal guys are ugly, shy and afraid of everything...
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Opinion Owner

+1 y
That's not what I said, no. I was talking about what qualities you might be prioritizing, not saying guys can't have some of those qualities. If you prioritize things like sweetness and attentiveness, for example, you might get fewer players. And someone who's sweet and attentive can also happen to be handsome. Also, I was talking about this specific combination of qualities (not just one or two). Someone who's not handsome also doesn't have to be ugly (someone can just be average for example), someone who's not particularly confident doesn't have to be afraid of everything, they can just be somewhat confident and somewhat insecure at different times. No need to paint this in extremes. And finally the fact is the more of these qualities someone has, the more likely they are to be a player. Because that's the type of guy that often becomes a player. On the flipside, you're not going to find many shy players.

Answer 3

Opinion Owner

Handsome*

Answer 4

Opinion Owner

Oh, another theory: Could be the places you meet them. Probably a lot of guys you meet at clubs will be players, for example.

Answer 5

Asker

So normal guys can’t be handsome, confident and extroverted? Based on what you’re saying normal guys are ugly, shy and afraid of everything...

Answer 6

Opinion Owner

That's not what I said, no. I was talking about what qualities you might be prioritizing, not saying guys can't have some of those qualities. If you prioritize things like sweetness and attentiveness, for example, you might get fewer players. And someone who's sweet and attentive can also happen to be handsome. Also, I was talking about this specific combination of qualities (not just one or two). Someone who's not handsome also doesn't have to be ugly (someone can just be average for example), someone who's not particularly confident doesn't have to be afraid of everything, they can just be somewhat confident and somewhat insecure at different times. No need to paint this in extremes. And finally the fact is the more of these qualities someone has, the more likely they are to be a player. Because that's the type of guy that often becomes a player. On the flipside, you're not going to find many shy players.

Answer 7

opnbuk59

Xper 5

That's what your drawn to want to attract a better class if guys change your mind but and where you hang out but it's clear those are the guys you are attracted to a good guy would not you and you would wind up abusing him so readjust your mindset and stay away from bums and lowlifes and hope in the wall bars and pubs that have people sleeping on bar counter top and serves liquor from unlabeled bottles

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Answer 8

Anonymous

You probably go for guys who are some combination of cocky and good looking.

Good looking young guys are likely to be players if not shy.

Guys who you can immediately tell are cocky are … often not worried about what other people think because they don't care about other people, period.

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Answer 9

Bananaman177

Guru

You only fall in love with outgoing, popular, highly socialized guys.

To guys who can get any pussy they want, your pussy isn't special.

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Answer 10

Rangers | 818 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Because you keep picking those guys intentionally and avoiding responsibility for your terrible taste in guys, work on that.

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Answer 11

alligatorblues

Xper 2

Guys over 30 are looking for commitment. Guys under 30 play games.

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Goma15

+1 y
I disagree. You can't have hard-and-fast rules like that. I'm under 30, I've only ever been interested in serious relationships. Not all guys are the same.

Reply

Answer 12

Goma15

I disagree. You can't have hard-and-fast rules like that. I'm under 30, I've only ever been interested in serious relationships. Not all guys are the same.

Answer 13

Surely | 558 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Because most girls your age like the "Bad Boys"!
After a few years and maybe a couple of babies you will learn that they really are Assholes and try to find someone more mature.

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1 Person

Answer 14

KrakenAttackin | 1.8K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Simple. You have shit taste in men. Any other questions?

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Answer 15

FrenchyRomain

Guru

because you crave the self confident little assholes that they are and unconsciously ignore the red flags that their attitudes show

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1 Person

Answer 16

spartan55 | 22.6K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Becuase you have lowv standards duh.

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Answer 17

Darklydarkened | 68 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

You have bad taste in men. Isn't it obvious?

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Answer 18

theChineseWASP

Xper 7

Cause they’re not boring.

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1 Person

Answer 19

reptocarl2

Yoda

Because you keep going after the same type

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Answer 20

willisg

Xper 5

Because you invited assholes and players.

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Answer 21

Anonymous

because they are young

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2 People

Aces404

+1 y
nah she just bad taste and keeps going to the same guys. she has to find a guy that will worry and care for her like I do with my girlfriend I treat her with respect and support her all the way

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
@Aces404 most young men are like this. as I get older and I found older men. they are nicer. what I mean is that they are more mature and done with stupid

Reply
Aces404

+1 y
nah ever since a young age I didn't find it nasty i just went "oh i have buy chocolate and let her vibe" so not all young ones just most of them

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Aces404

+1 y
sorry I repeated you sorry

Reply
Aces404

+1 y
shit I replied to the wrong question lmao

Reply
Aces404

+1 y
but eh I'm kinda old but I'm still a friend with stupid most of the time

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
@Aces404 20 isn't old yet. most men in 20s are still immature no matter how nice they are. I have met someone like this when I was 20. and he was 20. I thought he would be a good man. in fact after a few years next, he was not really good one. so now I prefer older men. ♥️

Reply
Goma15

+1 y
I'm a young guy, I've only ever been interested in serious relationships.

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
@Goma15 26 is pretty old lol

Reply
Aces404

+1 y
oof @Goma15 RIP and eh it's kinda old and 20 its eh kinda old for me

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
@Aces404 I'm not going to talk to young boy

Reply
Aces404

+1 y
miss with all do respect I'm mature enough to make it through this hell we call earth ok? and we all are either by hiding from truth or by facing life head on so its rude to say that even tho I may be young doesn't mean I dont know struggle or hardship so please dont try and mock anyone you dont know and maybe you weren't I can't tell so sorry if I seemed heated I just hate when people treat me like a kid

Reply
Goma15

+1 y
If you're not very intelligent, yeah. Believe me, when you get there you'll notice it's really not. Besides it doesn't matter. I've been this way since I was 17. So your argument falls flat.

Reply
Goma15

+1 y
Also, I like how apparently 26 is too old but 20 is a young boy... you really need to be a bit more consistent. Just realize maybe, just maybe you're buying into a silly stereotype with this "because they're young "bullshit. All you've got is your anecdotal experience and you've got two guys proving ot you that it's wrong.

Reply
Goma15

+1 y
My point being, being too young is not an excuse. You've got young guys who are players and they make that choice, and you've got young guys who are not (like me and Aces) and never were. And not I've known many other guys who were friends who also were not. You've got older guys who are players, you've got older guys who are not. Maybe your conclusion comes either from buying into a baseless stereotype or because you also pick out the "players" without knowing it. Might wanna think about that. I'm out.

Reply
Aces404

+1 y
@Goma15 damn you popped off bro and yea just because theyre young doesn't mean that they aren't mature they can be playing and act childish yes but then again we young people get serious about certain things like me if you touch or put someone down I won't care if your a woman or a man I'll correct you if you're a kid I'll be gentle if your old enough to know better I'll be harsh it's just some and can't really understand the drawbacks of love its blinds us so it's up to them to make sure they dont get blinded like most it's a scary but heart warming thing we just need to know which love is meant for us which is hard and I've been like this since I was 14 I don't know why but it's just right to teach others about to accept others boundaries

Reply
Goma15

+1 y
@Aces404 Well you know, I'll admit to beeing somewhat annoyed at being called old just because I'm 26. Plus, I admit that I really hate people buying into stereotypes it rubs me the wrong way. Yeah, I think you're right that it's important to teach other people to look passed their biases. And yes, finding love is a harsh, long and arduous process.

Reply
Aces404

+1 y
@Goma15 bro you're old you're wise and you're not old until you get excited over a vacuum cleaner and yea stereotypes just ain't right like I look and sound like I'm from the hood right? but I still treat everyone the same and with respect as long as they respect me and my family and besides that im just a chill guy when you first come up to me and when you get to know me and still you're not old you just know a lot more than others while old people are more... riddle talkers like my pops he goes "I won't teach you you teach yourself* and I live by that

Reply
Aces404

+1 y
*not old! sorry @Goma15

Reply
Goma15

+1 y
@Aces404 Well, my vaccuuum cleaner iiis very nice. I'm kidding. =p
But yeah, I agree. Treat people like fellow human beings with their own complexities, don't rely on stereotypes. And definitely don't rely on stereotypes to excuse shitty behaviour, I would say.

I get it "old and wise" is just kind of an idiom. So no worries, I get what you meant. >.<

Reply
Aces404

+1 y
@Goma15 still sorry about that and yea I know whatcha mean people stay away from me cause of my outside character but never see me but its eh it's better to have the people who can see you than the ones who can't

Reply
Goma15

+1 y
@Aces404 No need, mate. And yeah, that's pretty shitty of people.

Reply
Aces404

+1 y
@Goma15 still you not old until you say you are like even elders can beat young ones in physical activities which is sick af and yea my vacuum is pretty good also

Reply

Answer 22

Aces404

nah she just bad taste and keeps going to the same guys. she has to find a guy that will worry and care for her like I do with my girlfriend I treat her with respect and support her all the way

Answer 23

Opinion Owner

@Aces404 most young men are like this. as I get older and I found older men. they are nicer. what I mean is that they are more mature and done with stupid

Answer 24

Aces404

nah ever since a young age I didn't find it nasty i just went "oh i have buy chocolate and let her vibe" so not all young ones just most of them

Answer 25

Aces404

sorry I repeated you sorry

Answer 26

Aces404

shit I replied to the wrong question lmao

Answer 27

Aces404

but eh I'm kinda old but I'm still a friend with stupid most of the time

Answer 28

Opinion Owner

@Aces404 20 isn't old yet. most men in 20s are still immature no matter how nice they are. I have met someone like this when I was 20. and he was 20. I thought he would be a good man. in fact after a few years next, he was not really good one. so now I prefer older men. ♥️

Answer 29

Goma15

I'm a young guy, I've only ever been interested in serious relationships.

Answer 30

Opinion Owner

@Goma15 26 is pretty old lol

Answer 31

Aces404

oof @Goma15 RIP and eh it's kinda old and 20 its eh kinda old for me

Answer 32

Opinion Owner

@Aces404 I'm not going to talk to young boy

Answer 33

Aces404

miss with all do respect I'm mature enough to make it through this hell we call earth ok? and we all are either by hiding from truth or by facing life head on so its rude to say that even tho I may be young doesn't mean I dont know struggle or hardship so please dont try and mock anyone you dont know and maybe you weren't I can't tell so sorry if I seemed heated I just hate when people treat me like a kid

Answer 34

Goma15

If you're not very intelligent, yeah. Believe me, when you get there you'll notice it's really not. Besides it doesn't matter. I've been this way since I was 17. So your argument falls flat.

Answer 35

Goma15

Also, I like how apparently 26 is too old but 20 is a young boy... you really need to be a bit more consistent. Just realize maybe, just maybe you're buying into a silly stereotype with this "because they're young "bullshit. All you've got is your anecdotal experience and you've got two guys proving ot you that it's wrong.

Answer 36

Goma15

My point being, being too young is not an excuse. You've got young guys who are players and they make that choice, and you've got young guys who are not (like me and Aces) and never were. And not I've known many other guys who were friends who also were not. You've got older guys who are players, you've got older guys who are not. Maybe your conclusion comes either from buying into a baseless stereotype or because you also pick out the "players" without knowing it. Might wanna think about that. I'm out.

Answer 37

Aces404

@Goma15 damn you popped off bro and yea just because theyre young doesn't mean that they aren't mature they can be playing and act childish yes but then again we young people get serious about certain things like me if you touch or put someone down I won't care if your a woman or a man I'll correct you if you're a kid I'll be gentle if your old enough to know better I'll be harsh it's just some and can't really understand the drawbacks of love its blinds us so it's up to them to make sure they dont get blinded like most it's a scary but heart warming thing we just need to know which love is meant for us which is hard and I've been like this since I was 14 I don't know why but it's just right to teach others about to accept others boundaries

Answer 38

Goma15

@Aces404 Well you know, I'll admit to beeing somewhat annoyed at being called old just because I'm 26. Plus, I admit that I really hate people buying into stereotypes it rubs me the wrong way. Yeah, I think you're right that it's important to teach other people to look passed their biases. And yes, finding love is a harsh, long and arduous process.

Answer 39

Aces404

@Goma15 bro you're old you're wise and you're not old until you get excited over a vacuum cleaner and yea stereotypes just ain't right like I look and sound like I'm from the hood right? but I still treat everyone the same and with respect as long as they respect me and my family and besides that im just a chill guy when you first come up to me and when you get to know me and still you're not old you just know a lot more than others while old people are more... riddle talkers like my pops he goes "I won't teach you you teach yourself* and I live by that

Answer 40

Aces404

*not old! sorry @Goma15

Answer 41

Goma15

@Aces404 Well, my vaccuuum cleaner iiis very nice. I'm kidding. =p
But yeah, I agree. Treat people like fellow human beings with their own complexities, don't rely on stereotypes. And definitely don't rely on stereotypes to excuse shitty behaviour, I would say.

I get it "old and wise" is just kind of an idiom. So no worries, I get what you meant. >.<

Answer 42

Aces404

@Goma15 still sorry about that and yea I know whatcha mean people stay away from me cause of my outside character but never see me but its eh it's better to have the people who can see you than the ones who can't

Answer 43

Goma15

@Aces404 No need, mate. And yeah, that's pretty shitty of people.

Answer 44

Aces404

@Goma15 still you not old until you say you are like even elders can beat young ones in physical activities which is sick af and yea my vacuum is pretty good also

Answer 45

PapaBearDean

Xper 1

Maybe you need to change your approach

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Answer 46

skeetskeetskeet | 549 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Because were the most fun

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1 Person

Answer 47

Anonymous

You have bad taste

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Answer 48

In_Trance | 7.9K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

you tell us

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1 Person

Why all of the guys I fall in love with are assholes and players?

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