How to tell if a guy is leading you on?

Question

This guy knows that I’m interested in him, and before the virus outbreak, he asked me out to lunch, and asked me if I wanted to hangout again the following week. (That never happened because our university closed down). Ever since then, things have been going downhill. He stopped texting me first (I’ve been initiating first for a month now), whenever I ask if he wants to hangout virtually, he always says he’s too busy, and he stopped asking me questions. I talked to him about it, and he said that he was a bad communicator. However, when we do text, we text each other paragraphs, and he’s always saying things like, “I’ll always be there for you... you’re a good person, etc”. So I stopped texting him first to see if he’ll text me, and he never did. But when I posted a picture of me with my guy friend, he decided to text me and ask how I was doing. It’s like he doesn’t reach out to me, but whenever he sees me with another guy (on my Instagram/Snapchat), he’s always the first one to open it.

Answer 1

bxtterflytattoo

Xper 2

It sounds like he is leading you on. Some guys can be bad communicators I will admit that. But in your case that doesn't sound like that at all. The guy I'm talking to, claims that he is a complicated person but in reality he is not, he just has never been with a girl who is willing to work things out, he is used to girls who fight and throw fits. If he is only reaching out to you first whenever you post pictures with a guy friend, I would confront him about it, and ask him why is that? And especially if it's not the first he has done that. Don't be scared to be strong and just straight up ask him "What's your deal?". Or just be honest with him and ask him, where does he think you both stand at? Are you guys friends? Are you guys talking?

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1 Person

Asker

+1 y
When I talked to him about our conversations, it went like this:
Me: hey do I annoy you with my messages?
Him: no, you’re good!
Me: ok, so then are we friends?
Him: yes, definitely!! Lol why would you think otherwise?
Me: because our conversations are dry and I always feel like I’m bothering you when I text you
Him: no you’re fine. I’m just not a very good communicator :/

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bxtterflytattoo

+1 y
Well I mean the one thing that stands out to me is that he saying that you guys are just friends and nothing more and that's most likely why he isn't putting the same effort as much as you are doing right now. To be honest this quarantine is hard for a lot of people who aren't really into texting.

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Asker

+1 y
Yeah I agree. This whole quarantine is messing with everyone’s heads right now. I’m just confused, because before the quarantine, I was almost certain that he liked me (because of body language) because he asked me out to lunch, and asked to hangout again the next week, but now he’s just really hard to read.

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bxtterflytattoo

+1 y
Yeah if anything I would recommend you guys just stay friends and get to know each other if anything and not rush into anything.

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Asker

+1 y
Since he probably only sees me as a friend, would it be a bad idea if I talk to him about other guys? Like for advice?

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bxtterflytattoo

+1 y
No, you should first double check with him asking him are we just strictly friends nothing more? And then ask him if it’s okay if you can go to him for boy advice. Sometimes guys in general might not be all up for that since guys aren’t all exactly the same. I would recommend you watch “He’s Just Not That Into You” it’s on Netflix, and that movie helped me.

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Asker

+1 y
Lol I’ve watched that movie tons of times!!
I don’t know how to ask him if we’re just strictly friends. I’m always the one who’s putting herself out there, and it’s hard, and it takes a lot out of me

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bxtterflytattoo

+1 y
You just have to straight up ask him. Just copy and paste: Hey, are we just friends, nothing more? I understand that you always have to initiate something but it’s better not get your hopes high.

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Asker

+1 y
That’s true.

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Answer 2

Asker

When I talked to him about our conversations, it went like this:
Me: hey do I annoy you with my messages?
Him: no, you’re good!
Me: ok, so then are we friends?
Him: yes, definitely!! Lol why would you think otherwise?
Me: because our conversations are dry and I always feel like I’m bothering you when I text you
Him: no you’re fine. I’m just not a very good communicator :/

Answer 3

bxtterflytattoo

Well I mean the one thing that stands out to me is that he saying that you guys are just friends and nothing more and that's most likely why he isn't putting the same effort as much as you are doing right now. To be honest this quarantine is hard for a lot of people who aren't really into texting.

Answer 4

Asker

Yeah I agree. This whole quarantine is messing with everyone’s heads right now. I’m just confused, because before the quarantine, I was almost certain that he liked me (because of body language) because he asked me out to lunch, and asked to hangout again the next week, but now he’s just really hard to read.

Answer 5

bxtterflytattoo

Yeah if anything I would recommend you guys just stay friends and get to know each other if anything and not rush into anything.

Answer 6

Asker

Since he probably only sees me as a friend, would it be a bad idea if I talk to him about other guys? Like for advice?

Answer 7

bxtterflytattoo

No, you should first double check with him asking him are we just strictly friends nothing more? And then ask him if it’s okay if you can go to him for boy advice. Sometimes guys in general might not be all up for that since guys aren’t all exactly the same. I would recommend you watch “He’s Just Not That Into You” it’s on Netflix, and that movie helped me.

Answer 8

Asker

Lol I’ve watched that movie tons of times!!
I don’t know how to ask him if we’re just strictly friends. I’m always the one who’s putting herself out there, and it’s hard, and it takes a lot out of me

Answer 9

bxtterflytattoo

You just have to straight up ask him. Just copy and paste: Hey, are we just friends, nothing more? I understand that you always have to initiate something but it’s better not get your hopes high.

Answer 10

Asker

That’s true.

Answer 11

1stranger | 299 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Etc 😄.
Where is there?
He may be someone who cannot decide what to write.

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Asker

+1 y
I talked to him about the problems I’ve been having and he said multiple times that he’d always be there for me, and that I can always come to him with my problems

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1stranger

+1 y
He well said. He is right.
I want to listen you and your problems if you want to tell.

Reply

Answer 12

Asker

I talked to him about the problems I’ve been having and he said multiple times that he’d always be there for me, and that I can always come to him with my problems

Answer 13

1stranger

He well said. He is right.
I want to listen you and your problems if you want to tell.

How to tell if a guy is leading you on?

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