My boyfriend has gaslighted me but I think its unintentional?

[Anonymous]

I know gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and recently I found out that my boyfriend might have done it throughout our relationship. I’m convinced he has at times because a lot of phrases that are considered gaslighting and symptoms resonate with me, and I have had to come to terms with it even if it hurts to know. However, I am almost 100% sure that he does it unconsciously/unintentionally because he didn’t even know the definition of gaslighting when I asked him. He doesn’t speak very good English so he didn’t recognize the term. He’s always so good to me and is always there to help, believes in me and has been so willing to change. Therapy has done him well even though he dropped out for a while, and he has learned to accept his part more than before. I am happy with his improvements, yet the fact that this gaslighting has happened in our relationship still really pains me to accept. My therapist has not encouraged me to leave this relationship yet, so I like to believe there is still hope for us both. I just wanted to ask you guys what can I do to improve a relationship where unconscious gaslighting is taking place? It doesn’t happen all the time because he has asked me at times what can he change in order to be a better partner, and even apologizes and accepts his part at times, but a lot of times I do feel it still happens but not in a way that makes me feel “crazy” but more like “I’m overreacting.” He’s never called me crazy by the way. He’s told me I’m sensitive tho, or that I’m overreacting. Anyways, please let me know what can be done here because I know deep down he means no harm even though it is a form of manipulation.

Updates:

[ThiccNigro]

Gaslighting is a means of manipulation that directly attacks ones perception of reality. Essentially trying to convince you that you've gone crazy, or make you doubt your own memory, etc.

Your boyfriend is criticizing you, but it may or may not be gaslighting, it depends on his intentions. If he genuinely believes your reaction was unwarranted, it probably isn't, but if it's done to down play your emotions and desensitize you then yes that's gaslighting

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Soon as you said 'therapy' I stopped reading.

Having married someone "in therapy" I've come to realize that I should have ran like Gump as fast as I could. It's a lot of work for even the most basic psychological issues and rarely worth the effort. Just saying, get out while you can. Don't live a life of regret, and you will eventually find regret. It will become your drinking partner.

[Dragonstarterplus]

Hard to tell but i don't know if telling someone who is overreacting that they are overreacting is gaslighting

[Iron_Man]

Give me some samples of your boyfriend gaslighting you and I’ll tell you if it is or not

[In_Trance]

Stop being so forgiving. People know exactly what they're doing

[Anonymous]

Gaslighting is a bullshit term used by insane feminist to push false victim agendas.

[Fuentes]

How was he gas lighting you?