He said he doesn’t call it friends with benefits but we aren’t in a relationship so what would you call it?

Anonymous
So as crazy as this sounds. I’ve been Hooking up with my guy friend I call it (friends with benefits) on and off for about 10 plus years. I admitted to him that I still have strong feelings for him. He was in a relationship with someone for a year. After the break up (3 months ago) me and him started to hang out again but admitted to me that he’s not ready to be in a relationship. That maybe he should take sometime to himself. Before he got with his ex me and him we were hanging out and at that point he said he had really really strong feelings but for someone reason we both just stopped contacting each other. all that changed once All these years I’ve been in love with him and I recently told him that.
We had a conversation & he said I don’t think I’ll ever feel what I felt for you at some point. so I said so why are “we” still hooking up and he said I know and shook his head. I told him if he wanted to stop for us hooking up that I will but I will be out of his life for good and he said that’s something he will regret. He said he’s attracted to me that I’m everything a man wants and enjoys the time we spend together but won’t open up his feelings towards me. I asked if he was with anyone else because I would like to know to be safe since we don’t use protection at all besides birth control. In the past we did talk about having kids, living together but all that has changed. Can his feelings change to what he once felt for me? This is a person I would like to spend my life with. He’s not affectionate as before. Of course sometimes he will randomly hug me or start kissing me. Especially when we hook up we are very passionate towards each other. He does stay the night when he comes to my place. He has keys to my place so he will crash here whenever he wants.
He did say we will just go with the flow and see what happens.
Every morning when he leaves my place we hug and he holds me for a few seconds. I feel confused sometimes.
Updates:
27 d
Yeah you are right! I don’t understand why can’t he just see the good women in front of him.
He said he doesn’t call it friends with benefits but we aren’t in a relationship so what would you call it?
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