What should I do if my boyfriend's father is beating him?

Question

My boyfriend (27) was raised in a strict family. His mother is English and his father turkish.
They come from a higher class background and they seem a little bit arrogant because of that. They won't accept me because I'm not so rich. Anyway that's not my problem now. I always suspected something was off regarding his father's behaviour towards him but yesterday the puzzle was done. I decided to surprise my boyfriend by coming over. When I got there his father was coming down the stairs without saying 'hello' back. I went into my boyfriend's room and found him sitting on his stomach so when I tried to hug, he suddenly flinched at the touch. I insisted to tell me what's wrong and eventually he took his shirt off, telling me: "you happy now?" His back was bruised , like belt marks bruised.
I am convinced that this has happend several times because sometimes he won't let me touch and refused having intercourse. What would you do?

What should I do if my boyfriends father is beating him?

Answer 1

RasmusAiken | 428 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

You can do nothing without putting yourself in danger. Sadly a person doing this to an animal would be put in prison. But without your boyfriend saying something to authorities it's just behavior between consenting adults.
Encourage your boyfriend to go to the police and file a complaint.

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Answer 2

tofamous

Xper 3

Sounds like dad as a serious anger issue Then if the young man is of age and then he should probably that environment Me personally I won't call the cops for nothing or involve the government in my personal business but there is nothing wrong with moving away

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Answer 3

Belgie | 4.2K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Call the police. Make a statement. See if you can talk to a lawyer about a restraining order.

If the worst happens and he dies from his injuries, police need to know who is likely as a suspect and having reports on file will help.

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Answer 4

sadMeester | 79 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Explorer

At his age there isn't much to do. He's almost 30, he can either move out or stand up to his father.

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Answer 5

Celtero

Guru

Sounds like a pussy. 27 year old getting smacked around by an old man?

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The_unknown_memer

1 y
The fuck is wrong with you bitch boy?
Celtero

1 y
@The_unknown_memer It'd make sense if he's <20 but it's just sad when you live at home and take beatings from pops at almost 30. Needs to fucking grow up at that point and do something about it.
Asker

1 y
@Celtero what would you do? hit him back?
He is not a pussy. There are many things of this story I didn't wrote here. It was already too long.
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Celtero

1 y
My father does that to me and I'd kill him. I'll kill anyone that raises their hand to me. Your boyfriend is a massive pussy. Obviously he's too incompetent too to get his own apartment and move out.

Answer 6

The_unknown_memer

The fuck is wrong with you bitch boy?

Answer 7

Celtero

@The_unknown_memer It'd make sense if he's <20 but it's just sad when you live at home and take beatings from pops at almost 30. Needs to fucking grow up at that point and do something about it.

Answer 8

Asker

@Celtero what would you do? hit him back?
He is not a pussy. There are many things of this story I didn't wrote here. It was already too long.

Answer 9

Celtero

My father does that to me and I'd kill him. I'll kill anyone that raises their hand to me. Your boyfriend is a massive pussy. Obviously he's too incompetent too to get his own apartment and move out.

Answer 10

Nephilim000 | 561 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Explorer

That's tough. Is there some reason your boyfriend hasn't stood up to his father

React

Asker

1 y
I advised him to do so but he said that would be wrong:due to the fact his father is quite influential. He could get out of charges in no time and that would be worse. For the moment my boyfriend works for his father's company. He tried to change his job a couple of times but his father won't let him. Somehow he was dissmised before even starting it.. and I'm sure his father did something for that to happen. Damaging psychologically and physical your adult child it's something I can't understand. The only solution is moving to another city/country.. I guess.
Nephilim000

1 y
Well damaging a child or anyone of any age is generally inappropriate
Asker

1 y
Yes! No one deserves being hit or mentally abused, no matter the age. Communication is the key. My parents never touched me because they knew words were essential.
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Nephilim000

1 y
Oh no there are people out there who deserve to be hit. Unfortunately physical violence is used way to liberally. That being said for whatever reason there are people who lack proper communication skills. And sometimes in those cases some form of violence is the only way to reach such people. I don't like it. But it is anaad reality
Asker

1 y
Maybe they are: people who commit crimes, rapists and so on. They would deserve a beating just to feel at least 15% of the suffering. In any case, violence should be the last resort. Unfortunately, like you said this acts happen behind closed doors more than we really know. Frustrated parents hitting their children, someone slapping their spouse. It's wrong on sooo many levels.
Asker

1 y
*these acts*
Nephilim000

1 y
So wrong. But it's not about how frustrated a person is. It's about communication and coping skills or lack thereof
Asker

1 y
Exactly!! Any life circumstances like:stress, life issues, health problems can lead to frustration. These triggers mixed with the lack of communication&patience put in light the consequences of irrational behaviour.
Nephilim000

1 y
Totally true. These are things we all deal with. It is only by the grace of good communication skills and coping mechanisms that the human race is still here

Answer 11

Asker

I advised him to do so but he said that would be wrong:due to the fact his father is quite influential. He could get out of charges in no time and that would be worse. For the moment my boyfriend works for his father's company. He tried to change his job a couple of times but his father won't let him. Somehow he was dissmised before even starting it.. and I'm sure his father did something for that to happen. Damaging psychologically and physical your adult child it's something I can't understand. The only solution is moving to another city/country.. I guess.

Answer 12

Nephilim000

Well damaging a child or anyone of any age is generally inappropriate

Answer 13

Asker

Yes! No one deserves being hit or mentally abused, no matter the age. Communication is the key. My parents never touched me because they knew words were essential.

Answer 14

Nephilim000

Oh no there are people out there who deserve to be hit. Unfortunately physical violence is used way to liberally. That being said for whatever reason there are people who lack proper communication skills. And sometimes in those cases some form of violence is the only way to reach such people. I don't like it. But it is anaad reality

Answer 15

Asker

Maybe they are: people who commit crimes, rapists and so on. They would deserve a beating just to feel at least 15% of the suffering. In any case, violence should be the last resort. Unfortunately, like you said this acts happen behind closed doors more than we really know. Frustrated parents hitting their children, someone slapping their spouse. It's wrong on sooo many levels.

Answer 16

Asker

*these acts*

Answer 17

Nephilim000

So wrong. But it's not about how frustrated a person is. It's about communication and coping skills or lack thereof

Answer 18

Asker

Exactly!! Any life circumstances like:stress, life issues, health problems can lead to frustration. These triggers mixed with the lack of communication&patience put in light the consequences of irrational behaviour.

Answer 19

Nephilim000

Totally true. These are things we all deal with. It is only by the grace of good communication skills and coping mechanisms that the human race is still here

Answer 20

The_unknown_memer

Xper 5

Tell him to call the cops , or does his mother know about this?

I really think you need to call the cops

React

Asker

1 y
I advised him to do so but he said that would be wrong:due to the fact his father is quite influential. He could get out in no time and that would be worse. For the moment my boyfriend works for his father's company. He tried to change his job a couple of times but his father won't let him. Somehow he was dissmised before even starting it.. and I'm sure his father did something for that to happen. The only solution is moving to another city/country.. I guess.

Answer 21

Asker

I advised him to do so but he said that would be wrong:due to the fact his father is quite influential. He could get out in no time and that would be worse. For the moment my boyfriend works for his father's company. He tried to change his job a couple of times but his father won't let him. Somehow he was dissmised before even starting it.. and I'm sure his father did something for that to happen. The only solution is moving to another city/country.. I guess.

Answer 22

Iron_Man | 10.4K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

What can you do nothing the boyfriend is a grown man and can defend himself

React

Answer 23

CubaPirate | 290 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Support him to report the domestic violence he's suffering from

React

Asker

1 y
I advised him to do so but he said that would be wrong:due to the fact his father is quite influential. He could get out of charges in no time and that would be worse. For the moment my boyfriend works for his father's company. He tried to change his job a couple of times but his father won't let him. Somehow he was dissmised before even starting it.. and I'm sure his father did something for that to happen. Damaging psychologically and physical your adult child it's something I can't understand. The only solution is moving to another city/country.. I guess.

Answer 24

Asker

I advised him to do so but he said that would be wrong:due to the fact his father is quite influential. He could get out of charges in no time and that would be worse. For the moment my boyfriend works for his father's company. He tried to change his job a couple of times but his father won't let him. Somehow he was dissmised before even starting it.. and I'm sure his father did something for that to happen. Damaging psychologically and physical your adult child it's something I can't understand. The only solution is moving to another city/country.. I guess.

Answer 25

slatyb | 2.3K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

He should move out or just stop submitting to it.

React

Answer 26

Anonymous

Suck his father's cock to stop the beatings

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What should I do if my boyfriend's father is beating him?

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