Why did he cheat on me twice with same girl?

[BeenThereLovedIt]

The reality of his actions is simply that people suck. It's not just a man thing, women do it too. Here's a good comparison.

You need a car.. but because you haven't had one in a while, you take what you can get. It's a 2-door coupe, but you wanted a minivan... It's got too many previous owners, you wanted something a little newer and fresher... etc.. But you still drove the 2-door car until you were sure you could afford to replace it...

This is how many people date. They realize a couple of dates in that they aren't going to marry you, but will take you in until they find someone else. It's not that the 'other' person is any better looking, or better at anything than you, again it's just preferences.. perhaps he wanted a girl with different type of hair, or different cultural background, etc.. When it comes time to detach.. they always fall into that trap of not wanting to hurt you, or not wanting to admit wrongdoing.. and while they think they are saving you from additional suffering, they are only making it worse and dragging it out longer.

Leave him immediately, and never look back. There are nice people out there, I promise.

[triff]

I think i remember you asking such a question in October so I'm presuming his done it again this month I don't know how it was resolved last time Speaking from personal experience I forgave my Wife twice 2nd time she went with my top friend while I was fighting for recovery in hospital Anyway this isn't about me I'm just being empathic to your situation Now his obviously putting you through a lot of heartache and your now feeling hurt and despair Wondeingdone to deserve what have you to deserve this So firstly you have not caused it Nothing you can do to change this Except looking at you options to get past this You can forgive him again or you can see what the future is going to be He obviously likes the challenge and gets a buzz out of cheating You have to look at trust and respect which has been bombarded beyond reasonable repair Once the trust has gone there is no relationship and the fact he is repeating this behaviour shows their is no respect Love is a wonderful strong emotion but it can't survive and slowly will be torn and cut deeply The love is already showing terrible flaws My advice end it before it happens again and it will

[whatdoyouwantt]

He clearly doesn’t love you. A guy who loves you is happy and won’t be seeking around. You seem like a backup plan until they get together. Don’t hesitate girl, have some pride and leave. This guy will never change and please don’t blame yourself cause it’s not your fault at all. A cheater will always be a cheater no matter what. So even if he gets another girl. He’ll still cheat. It’s just addiction to the thrill and not feeling good of themselves thats why they do this to feel better. Maybe they don’t even believe that they could ever be loved. I hope you just figured it out and didn’t stay with him for too long letting him do this with your awareness. It’s sweet of you, you tolerate many things but please don’t tolerate this. Just walk away. You’ll hurt his ego and he’ll be the one chasing you at the end but not out of love, out of rejection. So don’t fall for that. Just look forward. You’ll find a better guy who will treat you right. You’ll be happy I promise. If you need to vent, I’m here for you. ❤️

[1Anon]

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it; it’s got to be a lot to handle but one bright side... he’s your boyfriend not your husband so you’d be able to move on easily should you choose to leave. I get it though, I’m spite of everything, you love him and he probably does love you but... he knows he’s able to get other girls and he wants it all; a partner at home to come home to and side chicks to have fun with, string along and who would be desperately ready for him, especially for when you both are comfortable or may have an argument.

[whatdoyouwantt]

This is like the 100th post about the same situation and I will still say the same. Dump his ass! Stop stalking him and that girl as it’s none of your fault! He is just unfaithful and that is a trait! He is going to cheat on anyone so don’t take it personally. I think you have enough evidence to leave this now behind and not look back. There is no way he could love you nor that woman. Now please get yourself together and leave. Waiting for a magic to happen him leaving her and getting on his knees for you is insanity. You’ll just waste your life and emotions for a guy who is a junk! He might be interested in her right now, if you imagine he felt that way also when he met you. But the problem here is he is not faithful! As he cheated on you he is going to do to her no matter what EVEN if she was a model or the best girl ever cause that’s just who he is. Sooner you realise that, sooner you'll be happy. I suggest you to walk away, you can still check on him after some months and I guarantee you they won’t stay together. Compare this to any other traits a person can have, even if they try so hard to pretend they are different, sooner or later it will come out again cause that’s part of them and it’s impossible to erase it. Be thankful you realised this now and leave this phunky ass behind.

[key_statistics]

As humans as our bodies start to develop sexually it starts to crave a relationship. Now guys that do cheat do not respect their gfs because at that age the 1st place you go to get your needs is your girlfriend. But if you can't because you are not attracted to her is highly disrespectful. As she could be with some other guy that does. As at that age that is the main reason why guys look and go into a relationship at the age of 14 to 17. As well as at that age we do not know what love is. We think lust and sex is love

Let's go-ahead 15 years age 29. At this age guys needs and wants start to change. Guys start to need an emotional and not so much physical relationship. if they do cheat at this age just once they do not like or love her. As it is clear that his not so important lust is more important then his girlfriend.

Try using this: if they lie or cheat dump them. But if you do love them and they beg for another chance, tell them "ok but that is it. If you cheat or lie again, I'm gone" and mean it. Because you do not need a guy that lies to you or cheats on you. The number one and biggest cornerstone of a relationship is TRUST!!!

[Finchie40]

Anybody that cheats once doesn’t really love their partner period , if they really loved them they wouldn’t of cheated on them , never give a cheater a second chance , I know people do take cheaters back and sadly to say it can work out but a very slim chance it depends if the couple is married and have kids together and the history they have together but it mainly comes down to why the cheating occurred , if the cheater just cheated because they had the opportunity then they are a piece of shit , if the cheater cheated because the non cheater was vicious to them and put them down all the time and with held sex from them then in a way that is the non cheaters fault, this happens in marriages , I have been with girls that were secretly cheating on their husbands with me , and they got busted but the husbands took them back. It was a shock to me but it happens if it happens in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship , then you are just pretty much wasting your time , the fact he did it twice that should really be your final straw and dump his ass and move on , Me personally doesn’t give a cheater a second chance , , I tried once and realized what was the point , I didn’t have the same feelings for her anymore , You need to value yourself and realize their are better people in this world that wouldn’t cheat on you and value you for you and will stand by your side , don’t settle
For someone that just likes the convenience of you

[hahahmm]

These are all related but let me put it out there for you:
1. He doesn't respect you.
2. He isn't loyal.
3. He lies to you.
4. He isn't your boyfriend.
5. He believes the relationship is casual but he lets you think it's serious.
6. He's eagerly searching for someone better than you but is too cowardly to just dump you.
7. He lacks self control.
8. He has no long term plan for his life.
9. He's not responsible.

Now why did he pick the same girl? Because she's hot and see point number 7.

Now you are lowering your value by putting up with this guy. You're limiting your chances of finding a better guy because you can't get back the time that you're wasting. The younger you are the more it seems like time is endless but trust me, you will be 30 before you know it and your options will shrink a lot as you get older.

[luvstoned4him]

Pretty but without a pic of you to compare I dont know who is prettier. However, that's beside the point.

He cheated and honestly I dont think he deserves you. He was lucky to have u.

This guy is a douche and I think you should dump him. If not for you, do it because you value yourself, you respect yourself. Dont let him have his cake and eat it and live to tell the world about it. Sometimes when we live someone we become so wrapped up in it that we are blinded to the bad aspects. Believe me when you dump him, it will become soo clear why he isn't good for you. Plus what he is doing to you now, after he's been a while with this girl, he is gonna do the same damn thing with her.

[PrudentGuy]

Oh sour girl of G@G, I feel for you!

Honestly, I like girls without makeup and I think she looks sweet.

But I prefer gril who are sexually confident over mere physical beauty.

This is because if I were to enter a romantic relationship, sex is a must. And great sex comes only from a girl who is sexually confident, not mere looks.

At this moment, i think the primary reason you "lose" (or lag behind her) is because you are jealous and runs low in self-confidence.

Come on. Have faith in yourself, not just in defensive words (as in your details), but really manifest it.

If you can overcome your jealous heart, he should be impressed and attracted by you again.

[Citizenkirk]

I can't speak for guys that do that kind of thing because I think of them as being 12 levels benieth pond scum on the evolutionary scale, so my opinion of them is biased, too say the least.
Look, I'm a monogamous male, who actually believes monogomy applies to both partners in a monogamous relationship.
I'm not trying too be monotonouse, or even autonomouse. Just real and down to Earth with you, which two timing sleezebags are willing, or capable, of being with anyone.
I have a hard time associating self respect, with what a girl has going for her if she chooses too put up with such behavior in a boyfriend, but I won't judge me her. I can't do help but worry, though.

[RingOfFire]

How do we know what she looks like compared to you if we don't know what you look like?

Anyway, this whole thing is silly. You are behaving like a 12 year old. If you really had a mature love for this guy you wouldn't be posting something like this on the Internet and making it a public spectacle.

If this story is even real, my advice to you is to get out of this relationship and don't get into another one until you figured out what went wrong and meet someone who is committed to you in a mature way. This is juvenile stuff. You are an adult now.

[Alyssa11]

Really depends!! Cheaters are scum though so it shouldn't matter. A man who has his shit together won't cheat, period.

I do think that sometimes men can be in love with their girlfriend/wife but still cheat on her just cause they can and sometimes things happen. But at the end of the day it's a decision and love alone isn't good enough. A cheater has many flaws in their character besides just cheating - dishonesty, lack of discipline, no sense of responsibility, selfish, not God fearing... the list goes on and on.

No point in wasting your time with these kinds of people.

[SjE78]

if they cheat once they obviously do not think much of their girlfriend's, as for love them? well if they loved them they wouldn't cheat in the first place... and the excuse some use that things were difficult, did they even attempt to communicate with their girlfriend's before they cheated? I highly doubt they did... however no excuse for cheating...

if you are in an open relationship and it is agreed you are ok to see other people and no rules were set on who then it isn't cheating... if there were rules agreed upon and those rules were broken... then clearly their girlfriend wasn't respected enough or loved enough to adhere to the rules agreed upon...

[art_hoe]

r u the same girl who posted about her boyfriend being a dick? if u r , girl, break up with himmm

if ur somebody else, also, yes. look. its not about u being not good enough. you are beautiful and unique and loyal and he's a prick its his shitty personality not you bad looks or whatever u think u got like omg pls just fuck him off

[Minnie97]

she's pretty. But that doesn't mean looks are the reason he cheated on you. Also, you putting another woman down doesn't make you better than her. You don't even know if this woman is aware that your boyfriend was in a relationship, you dont know the information he gave her. And if you're going to be mad and put someone down then let it be the person who wronged you.

[Prettygurl12]

👏 Dump 👏 his 👏 ass 👏

You don't need to understand or try to rationalize. He's a dirt bag who doesn't respect you and at this point, if you stay, you deserve his infidelity the next time around.

Cut him out of your life and get you someone better.

[Elsa143]

Yes definitely!!! He loves you ALOOTTT.
I'm gonna faint that how can such a pure love ever exist in this planet?
He never mentioned you on social media so that your love won't get the evil eye and your relationship will last forever,
Nah he's not hiding you from his other partners.
He's just making sure that you and his other girls don't see each other by mistake.

[triff]

I believe if they cheat Let's face it If someone who ha sex outside of their relationship this is not a accident We have to be conscious to be able to form So no it wasn't the drink Or the chemisty or anything else It was premeditated So no such thing occurred because they wanted it too Their feelings are not love but possession and affection They seldom learn what is infront of them a life term partner who is shuned

[Freddy78361]

I have zero data points but...

Your relationship is the 'same old same old' and you're in a rut.
You don't do the things as a couple that you used to.
You and he aren't actively courting each other.
Sex is formulaic and boring and likely infrequent.
You take him for granted.
She gives him something you don't.

[ohshee]

Well there 500 different types of love so no matter what he's goinfpg to say he love you ,, if he cheats on you the first time it means eith he dosent love you ,, are he thought he was smarter thst you and pwoulnt get cought and 8 out of ten times its the second one thst makes him cheat ,, I don't know about you but if I had a girlfriend and she cheated I would hope is was because she didn't love me and more not because she thought she could just do it and get awsy from it

[Anonymous]

I read all your comments and posts. On one of the posts you stated that you didn’t live where he lived but now you saying the other doesn’t live far either. I’m thinking the girl is a gag user because of how many times this question has been asked and the other girl has been mentioned. You mentioned the girl a thousand times already. Personally it sound like the guy is married and they keep their life off social media. The relationship and dating section is getting stranger by the day. Sex isn’t enough to keep a man around.

[Mark987]

Guys, naturally are very mostly physically want to be with as many women.. If a guy cheats once he will do it again.. I have had my fair share of relationships.. and not once cheated not even once... I have been cheated on.. and it messed me up for a little while.. any guy who cheats twice... you shouldn't even be talking too

[KennethNoisewater]

I wish girls didn't put up with it one time. You are literally begging for a second time if you don't break up after the first time. You can say it is because they are a good person but that doesn't change anything. They can be a good person, but obviously they can't be a good person to you. A relationship is built on trust and respect. In my opinion the most disrespectful thing you can do to someone you love is cheat on them. And if they cheat on you can you truly trust them?

[CuriousCat123]

I would confront him to find out. That is a horrible thing and if he admits it may be time to leave him. That is the nice way to do things. The mean way is to ask one of your friends to fake text text you under a mans name. Then let him see the texts and if he gets mad you have background knowledge. (if you choose dirty try to let him see the texts)

[Zen10]

I must say that both girls in that picture are gorgeous. And I'm sure you will have no trouble finding a replacement. So many men are on here complaining about not getting a girl because women have so many options, next time take your time before you fall in love and test his loyalty but don't be all crazy

[Anonymous]

He's a piece of shit who is selfish. Nothing is wrong with you. You have to leave him or you will always get hurt if you stay. I just went through similar couple days ago I found out my boyfriend was cheating. Worst part I was figuring it out a month ago but he kept denying and acting defensive telling me im crazy for thinking he's cheating. I contacted the girl when he told me not to and he blocked me. He knew he was wrong and im glad its over with him.

[Anonymous]

They may love their girlfriend, but not everyone mixes well with monogamy. More importantly, do they respect their girlfriend? The answer to that is a clear "no." They knew it would hurt her and did it anyway. Why do they do it? Greed. They want to have it all.

[CharaS]

Remember, girl - HE is the one who cheated on you. He doesn't deserve a second of your time any more. Don't blame the other girl, he lied to her and told her he was single.
You should tell him to stop cheating now and if you ever catch him again, break up. It's better to get out of a bad relationship sooner.

[Luna1998]

i doubt it. i would never want or try to find any further excuses to keep staying in that relationship. its hard to leave but once you did i think you are capable to find someone who is really right for you. Also, being single isn't so bad. No drama, no tears, and i can focus on my work and the one who really loved me only.

[key_statistics]

He just put your relationship down to casual. If I was you, I would as well and look for another guy. He is obviously thinking she is his girlfriend now and put you aside. With not telling you he is scum, he might be waiting to tell he makes a full decision. Either way, you do not deserve a guy like that. Because he does not think too highly of you or even respects you if he is doing this. What I would do is dump him and move on.

[dr_sascha]

How long are you gonna try and struggle with this dude. I usually don't say "Ohh just break up" but like ur actually tripping if u don't break up with him, he is using the fuck out of u. It sounds harsh but at this point he's not the problem anymore it's YOU.

[OneManOnly01]

You don’t get it, you’re so addicted to that guy. You’re 23 and you can’t understand yet.

I know it’s hard, like an addiction, but he DOES NOT love you. You ARE ADDICTED TO HIM.

But you need to keep your emotions in control and leave him for good

[OlderAndWiser]

Didn't you already ask this same question a few days ago?

You can't control his behavior and you can't control the other girl. But. . . you are in charge of your own behavior. Why aren't you already broken up, healing your wounds, and looking forward to meeting someone better than this?

[havingfun101]

As a woman, his ability to attract other women makes him more attractive to you, so stop complaining or date a less attractive guy or one with less money or be a good Christian girl... or lose weight if you're big... those are generally your options.

[Brokenheartedx]

He doesn't love you, he is using you as a doormat and disrespecting you. When are you going to chuck the loser before or after he gives you an std? Or when your pregnant or when he starts hitting you, when you going to say enough! And the fact you're asking this you know he doesn't love you. You can do so much better, find your self worthx regain your dignity and find your self love.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Point is, why is she STILL with him? If he keeps cheating and she stays then🤷🏼‍♀️ There's two choices, dump him and don't get cheated on or stay and keep getting cheated on but then can't keep complaining cuz chose to do nothing about it 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Goforit1010]

No... guys that do that, don't really love their girlfriend at all. They want their cake and eat it too. They're getting sex from their girlfriend and then they can get it from the side chick too. They think they're getting away with something, but all they're doing is poisoning the relationships and risking their girlfriend with the possibility of an STD. Maybe a permanent one.

Leave thar guy ASAP!

[shangri-Ia]

No, there is nothing special about her. The only thing special about her is that he isn't in a committed relationship with her. Don't let him being a player get to you head.

May I ask him how you relationship with him is?

Does he do things to show he that he loves and appreciates you? Do you two have a good relationship?

Some men will cheat just because they are being foolish.

[luvstoned4him]

So sorry you are going through this

the truth is some men are pricks. Not all. Guess your boyfriend wants to have his cake and eat it too. He maybe exploring his options at this point. I couldnt handle this disrespect so I would leave now with whatever dignity I had.

[MissDawn7961]

your boyfriend is single for he is your friend and not your fiancee or husband so he did not cheat on you for you aren't married to him ! it is a good thing he cheated on you , for now you know what a - low life - boy he is and now you can end it with him and get yourself a man instead of this - cheating boy - ! thanks

[Nxtawm]

Simple he doesn't love you or respect you. My guess if he fell out of love for you, he's cheating with her cause he wants something new, he lusts for her, or he loves her more. Could be all three reasons. There's never not rlly a complicated reason as to why he cheated or why he did this to you, unless you wronged him in some way, then he's just a dick. Anyway I suggest breaking up with him asap, it's not like he's gonna stop, if he wanted to then he could've long ago.

[Anonymous]

If he is doing things like that it's time to leave him. You could also confront him and ask him why he was being so horrible. And maybe, if you are very very sad don't read this, but maybe she is good at sex and that is why he wants her instead. They may have already had some fun. I am so sorry!

[Charli7]

Your last comment shows he's a real jerk!! Drop him and move on!
To answer your question in general, men cheat for several reasons. Maybe he thinks you're cheating on him. He could feel inadequate. You're not fulfilling him sexually. Selfishness. Incapable of love.

[TheLawAroundHere]

Honey, here's the worst kept secret in man/woman relations.

Aome guys are just... boys. They see the world and everyrhing in it as a disposable toy.

That goes for you too. He cast his line 3-4 hrs away because he thought he was being slick."She will never look THIS far away from our place", he said.

Im sorry dear. You have an asshole shit kicker for a boyfriend.

[Minnie97]

Nope. If someone cheats they don't love their partner in the first place. If they loved their partner they'd never betray their trust and hurt them like that

[serious]

If they are resorting to cheating and trying to make their girlfriend jealous then it is clear that they don't love them

Where there is love, there is only love and nothing else.

[Lliam]

He doesn't love you, candyflosssweets. He's a piece of shit who just uses you as a place to put his dick.
Sorry.
Cut your losses and find a good guy.

[Anonymous]

U seem to be wondering if he loves you...

here’s a thought: WHO GIVES A DAMN! So what if he loves you. He will destroy you. Just because someone likes you doesn’t mean you should be with them, he’s trash and he’s ruining you. The longer u put up with this the more a future with a good man slips away...

[TheLittleInnocent]

honestly just dump him and move on with your life, if this bruv can cheat on you twice, he probably gonna do it again.

[havingfun101]

The odds are that she looks very similarly to you. Dark hair, dark eyes, simular skin tone, height and weight.
Understand that this has nothing to do with your worth or value as a woman and move on or stick around for scaps.
Marriage, cohabitation and childbirth are at all time lows.

[Freddy78361]

Some guys are dicks.
I suspect that he does love her but he is too wrapped up in himself to act like he loves her.

[OneManOnly01]

You gotta start ignoring him a little. Give him less of you. And frankly you should now stop taking this relationship seriously because he just has you because of sexual attraction

[Lionman95]

Have you ever confronted him? Tell him clearly that your relationship is on the line that you want him to choose between you and her.

[EssenceOfLight]

"... Does he even love/like me?"
No

"I’m asking why he’d do this to me? Is there something special about her or what"
None of you both seems to be someone special for him. Otherwise he wouldn't cheat and betray. I know people tend to have competitive way of thinking in such situations but honestly do you think one of you both can be the winner?

[yucychan]

So why are you still this asshole?
You know he's a womanizer and he cheats on you. And yet you still stayed with him.
Not very smart, are you?

[strraku]

if ur relation with him was for love thn it is is his fault... if ur relation with him was for sex thn u r makin mistake u should try to live with him and tht girl and try to enjoy ur sex life and spice up things

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, she is pretty but cheating is not about finding a more physically attractive partner. It is about a refusal to honor commitments and a character defect. Why do you continue to be involved with someone who has a character defect?

[NYCQuestions1976]

If he's traveling 3 to 4 hours to be with her, then he likes her, not you. You're just someone convenient for him to have sex with when he can't get to her since you're geography close to him. You need to move on.

[Twalli]

Cheating is most often to get vf things you can't get from your current relationship. If you sleep around it's a different pussy bbn or penis. Dates is usually because your SO can't provide everything you want or need.

[Finchie40]

He is a piece of shit , he did it twice cuz you basically said it was ok when you took him back after the first time , so he figured do it again , dump his ass already

[Aiko_E_Lara]

You don't really have any permission to use her picture though. Also looks are subjective for you don't really have to be insecure and let people compare her to you. And of course you probably also only picked her ugliest pictures.

[Edanurus]

For your first question, wasn't once enough to show the shits he gives?

Second point why should he break up? He gets to sleep with her and other girls?

Third point, why is she still with him?

[CaptainLonleyPants]

He's a piece of 💩

Leave him and get yourself a real man that will treat you right and appreciate you.

Inform her of what has happened and has been going on so she knows to leave the lying, cheating scumbag alone as well.