Why did he cheat on me twice with same girl?

[candyflosssweets]

My boyfriend cheated on me twice with the same girl lying to her that he is single!! She obviously believed it and agreed to meet him. He took her out on a romantic date and he was all over her couldn’t stop staring at her and calling her pretty (I know all this as I read the whole chat on his phone of them too) he also admitted he likes it a lot when she touches him and telling to hurry to and come and see him for their second meeting! She doesn’t live hear us 3-4 hours away! But they sext a lot and he was saying things like how he craves her and how ldr would be hard with her cause he’ll want her all the time. He even said he can stay with this time blah blah!!! I don’t understand why he is doing this when he is with me! Does he even love/like me? He’s been talking to her for a year all this time he was with me and he always said he is single to her and never posts me on his social media or about me. He also kept on telling her to come see him back in Oct and how them two can stay at one if his friends house as they’ll get the house to themselves where they can fuck!!! I’m so disgusted by some of the things that was said on the chat!!! Why would he do this to me and why is he even talking to her when he has me?

Updates:

1 y

I’m asking why he’d do this to me? Is there something special about her or what

[BeenThereLovedIt]

The reality of his actions is simply that people suck. It's not just a man thing, women do it too. Here's a good comparison.

You need a car.. but because you haven't had one in a while, you take what you can get. It's a 2-door coupe, but you wanted a minivan... It's got too many previous owners, you wanted something a little newer and fresher... etc.. But you still drove the 2-door car until you were sure you could afford to replace it...

This is how many people date. They realize a couple of dates in that they aren't going to marry you, but will take you in until they find someone else. It's not that the 'other' person is any better looking, or better at anything than you, again it's just preferences.. perhaps he wanted a girl with different type of hair, or different cultural background, etc.. When it comes time to detach.. they always fall into that trap of not wanting to hurt you, or not wanting to admit wrongdoing.. and while they think they are saving you from additional suffering, they are only making it worse and dragging it out longer.

Leave him immediately, and never look back. There are nice people out there, I promise.

[triff]

I think i remember you asking such a question in October so I'm presuming his done it again this month I don't know how it was resolved last time Speaking from personal experience I forgave my Wife twice 2nd time she went with my top friend while I was fighting for recovery in hospital Anyway this isn't about me I'm just being empathic to your situation Now his obviously putting you through a lot of heartache and your now feeling hurt and despair Wondeingdone to deserve what have you to deserve this So firstly you have not caused it Nothing you can do to change this Except looking at you options to get past this You can forgive him again or you can see what the future is going to be He obviously likes the challenge and gets a buzz out of cheating You have to look at trust and respect which has been bombarded beyond reasonable repair Once the trust has gone there is no relationship and the fact he is repeating this behaviour shows their is no respect Love is a wonderful strong emotion but it can't survive and slowly will be torn and cut deeply The love is already showing terrible flaws My advice end it before it happens again and it will

[whatdoyouwantt]

He clearly doesn’t love you. A guy who loves you is happy and won’t be seeking around. You seem like a backup plan until they get together. Don’t hesitate girl, have some pride and leave. This guy will never change and please don’t blame yourself cause it’s not your fault at all. A cheater will always be a cheater no matter what. So even if he gets another girl. He’ll still cheat. It’s just addiction to the thrill and not feeling good of themselves thats why they do this to feel better. Maybe they don’t even believe that they could ever be loved. I hope you just figured it out and didn’t stay with him for too long letting him do this with your awareness. It’s sweet of you, you tolerate many things but please don’t tolerate this. Just walk away. You’ll hurt his ego and he’ll be the one chasing you at the end but not out of love, out of rejection. So don’t fall for that. Just look forward. You’ll find a better guy who will treat you right. You’ll be happy I promise. If you need to vent, I’m here for you. ❤️

[1Anon]

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it; it’s got to be a lot to handle but one bright side... he’s your boyfriend not your husband so you’d be able to move on easily should you choose to leave. I get it though, I’m spite of everything, you love him and he probably does love you but... he knows he’s able to get other girls and he wants it all; a partner at home to come home to and side chicks to have fun with, string along and who would be desperately ready for him, especially for when you both are comfortable or may have an argument.

[whatdoyouwantt]

This is like the 100th post about the same situation and I will still say the same. Dump his ass! Stop stalking him and that girl as it’s none of your fault! He is just unfaithful and that is a trait! He is going to cheat on anyone so don’t take it personally. I think you have enough evidence to leave this now behind and not look back. There is no way he could love you nor that woman. Now please get yourself together and leave. Waiting for a magic to happen him leaving her and getting on his knees for you is insanity. You’ll just waste your life and emotions for a guy who is a junk! He might be interested in her right now, if you imagine he felt that way also when he met you. But the problem here is he is not faithful! As he cheated on you he is going to do to her no matter what EVEN if she was a model or the best girl ever cause that’s just who he is. Sooner you realise that, sooner you'll be happy. I suggest you to walk away, you can still check on him after some months and I guarantee you they won’t stay together. Compare this to any other traits a person can have, even if they try so hard to pretend they are different, sooner or later it will come out again cause that’s part of them and it’s impossible to erase it. Be thankful you realised this now and leave this phunky ass behind.

[key_statistics]

As humans as our bodies start to develop sexually it starts to crave a relationship. Now guys that do cheat do not respect their gfs because at that age the 1st place you go to get your needs is your girlfriend. But if you can't because you are not attracted to her is highly disrespectful. As she could be with some other guy that does. As at that age that is the main reason why guys look and go into a relationship at the age of 14 to 17. As well as at that age we do not know what love is. We think lust and sex is love

Let's go-ahead 15 years age 29. At this age guys needs and wants start to change. Guys start to need an emotional and not so much physical relationship. if they do cheat at this age just once they do not like or love her. As it is clear that his not so important lust is more important then his girlfriend.

Try using this: if they lie or cheat dump them. But if you do love them and they beg for another chance, tell them "ok but that is it. If you cheat or lie again, I'm gone" and mean it. Because you do not need a guy that lies to you or cheats on you. The number one and biggest cornerstone of a relationship is TRUST!!!

[Finchie40]

Anybody that cheats once doesn’t really love their partner period , if they really loved them they wouldn’t of cheated on them , never give a cheater a second chance , I know people do take cheaters back and sadly to say it can work out but a very slim chance it depends if the couple is married and have kids together and the history they have together but it mainly comes down to why the cheating occurred , if the cheater just cheated because they had the opportunity then they are a piece of shit , if the cheater cheated because the non cheater was vicious to them and put them down all the time and with held sex from them then in a way that is the non cheaters fault, this happens in marriages , I have been with girls that were secretly cheating on their husbands with me , and they got busted but the husbands took them back. It was a shock to me but it happens if it happens in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship , then you are just pretty much wasting your time , the fact he did it twice that should really be your final straw and dump his ass and move on , Me personally doesn’t give a cheater a second chance , , I tried once and realized what was the point , I didn’t have the same feelings for her anymore , You need to value yourself and realize their are better people in this world that wouldn’t cheat on you and value you for you and will stand by your side , don’t settle
For someone that just likes the convenience of you

[hahahmm]

These are all related but let me put it out there for you:
1. He doesn't respect you.
2. He isn't loyal.
3. He lies to you.
4. He isn't your boyfriend.
5. He believes the relationship is casual but he lets you think it's serious.
6. He's eagerly searching for someone better than you but is too cowardly to just dump you.
7. He lacks self control.
8. He has no long term plan for his life.
9. He's not responsible.

Now why did he pick the same girl? Because she's hot and see point number 7.

Now you are lowering your value by putting up with this guy. You're limiting your chances of finding a better guy because you can't get back the time that you're wasting. The younger you are the more it seems like time is endless but trust me, you will be 30 before you know it and your options will shrink a lot as you get older.

[luvstoned4him]

Pretty but without a pic of you to compare I dont know who is prettier. However, that's beside the point.

He cheated and honestly I dont think he deserves you. He was lucky to have u.

This guy is a douche and I think you should dump him. If not for you, do it because you value yourself, you respect yourself. Dont let him have his cake and eat it and live to tell the world about it. Sometimes when we live someone we become so wrapped up in it that we are blinded to the bad aspects. Believe me when you dump him, it will become soo clear why he isn't good for you. Plus what he is doing to you now, after he's been a while with this girl, he is gonna do the same damn thing with her.

[PrudentGuy]

Oh sour girl of G@G, I feel for you!

Honestly, I like girls without makeup and I think she looks sweet.

But I prefer gril who are sexually confident over mere physical beauty.

This is because if I were to enter a romantic relationship, sex is a must. And great sex comes only from a girl who is sexually confident, not mere looks.

At this moment, i think the primary reason you "lose" (or lag behind her) is because you are jealous and runs low in self-confidence.

Come on. Have faith in yourself, not just in defensive words (as in your details), but really manifest it.

If you can overcome your jealous heart, he should be impressed and attracted by you again.

[Citizenkirk]

I can't speak for guys that do that kind of thing because I think of them as being 12 levels benieth pond scum on the evolutionary scale, so my opinion of them is biased, too say the least.
Look, I'm a monogamous male, who actually believes monogomy applies to both partners in a monogamous relationship.
I'm not trying too be monotonouse, or even autonomouse. Just real and down to Earth with you, which two timing sleezebags are willing, or capable, of being with anyone.
I have a hard time associating self respect, with what a girl has going for her if she chooses too put up with such behavior in a boyfriend, but I won't judge me her. I can't do help but worry, though.

[Alyssa11]

Really depends!! Cheaters are scum though so it shouldn't matter. A man who has his shit together won't cheat, period.

I do think that sometimes men can be in love with their girlfriend/wife but still cheat on her just cause they can and sometimes things happen. But at the end of the day it's a decision and love alone isn't good enough. A cheater has many flaws in their character besides just cheating - dishonesty, lack of discipline, no sense of responsibility, selfish, not God fearing... the list goes on and on.

No point in wasting your time with these kinds of people.

[RingOfFire]

How do we know what she looks like compared to you if we don't know what you look like?

Anyway, this whole thing is silly. You are behaving like a 12 year old. If you really had a mature love for this guy you wouldn't be posting something like this on the Internet and making it a public spectacle.

If this story is even real, my advice to you is to get out of this relationship and don't get into another one until you figured out what went wrong and meet someone who is committed to you in a mature way. This is juvenile stuff. You are an adult now.

[SjE78]

if they cheat once they obviously do not think much of their girlfriend's, as for love them? well if they loved them they wouldn't cheat in the first place... and the excuse some use that things were difficult, did they even attempt to communicate with their girlfriend's before they cheated? I highly doubt they did... however no excuse for cheating...

if you are in an open relationship and it is agreed you are ok to see other people and no rules were set on who then it isn't cheating... if there were rules agreed upon and those rules were broken... then clearly their girlfriend wasn't respected enough or loved enough to adhere to the rules agreed upon...

[art_hoe]

r u the same girl who posted about her boyfriend being a dick? if u r , girl, break up with himmm

if ur somebody else, also, yes. look. its not about u being not good enough. you are beautiful and unique and loyal and he's a prick its his shitty personality not you bad looks or whatever u think u got like omg pls just fuck him off

[Minnie97]

she's pretty. But that doesn't mean looks are the reason he cheated on you. Also, you putting another woman down doesn't make you better than her. You don't even know if this woman is aware that your boyfriend was in a relationship, you dont know the information he gave her. And if you're going to be mad and put someone down then let it be the person who wronged you.

[Prettygurl12]

👏 Dump 👏 his 👏 ass 👏

You don't need to understand or try to rationalize. He's a dirt bag who doesn't respect you and at this point, if you stay, you deserve his infidelity the next time around.

Cut him out of your life and get you someone better.

[Elsa143]

Yes definitely!!! He loves you ALOOTTT.
I'm gonna faint that how can such a pure love ever exist in this planet?
He never mentioned you on social media so that your love won't get the evil eye and your relationship will last forever,
Nah he's not hiding you from his other partners.
He's just making sure that you and his other girls don't see each other by mistake.

[ohshee]

Well there 500 different types of love so no matter what he's goinfpg to say he love you ,, if he cheats on you the first time it means eith he dosent love you ,, are he thought he was smarter thst you and pwoulnt get cought and 8 out of ten times its the second one thst makes him cheat ,, I don't know about you but if I had a girlfriend and she cheated I would hope is was because she didn't love me and more not because she thought she could just do it and get awsy from it

[triff]

I believe if they cheat Let's face it If someone who ha sex outside of their relationship this is not a accident We have to be conscious to be able to form So no it wasn't the drink Or the chemisty or anything else It was premeditated So no such thing occurred because they wanted it too Their feelings are not love but possession and affection They seldom learn what is infront of them a life term partner who is shuned

[Freddy78361]

I have zero data points but...

Your relationship is the 'same old same old' and you're in a rut.
You don't do the things as a couple that you used to.
You and he aren't actively courting each other.
Sex is formulaic and boring and likely infrequent.
You take him for granted.
She gives him something you don't.

[Anonymous]

I read all your comments and posts. On one of the posts you stated that you didn’t live where he lived but now you saying the other doesn’t live far either. I’m thinking the girl is a gag user because of how many times this question has been asked and the other girl has been mentioned. You mentioned the girl a thousand times already. Personally it sound like the guy is married and they keep their life off social media. The relationship and dating section is getting stranger by the day. Sex isn’t enough to keep a man around.

[KennethNoisewater]

I wish girls didn't put up with it one time. You are literally begging for a second time if you don't break up after the first time. You can say it is because they are a good person but that doesn't change anything. They can be a good person, but obviously they can't be a good person to you. A relationship is built on trust and respect. In my opinion the most disrespectful thing you can do to someone you love is cheat on them. And if they cheat on you can you truly trust them?

[CuriousCat123]

I would confront him to find out. That is a horrible thing and if he admits it may be time to leave him. That is the nice way to do things. The mean way is to ask one of your friends to fake text text you under a mans name. Then let him see the texts and if he gets mad you have background knowledge. (if you choose dirty try to let him see the texts)