If a man is willing to do everything he can for a woman does that mean he's desperate?

Question

I've been talking to a man who is into me. I already told him what I want and I what I don't want in a relationship. Sometimes when I'm not ok, I'm a little bit rude but he's still kind and caring towards me.
I wonder if he's not stopping himself from doing/saying what he wants because of me. He still wants to date me even when he disagrees with me.

Is it possible that he's desperate? Or it might be something else?

Answer 1

OlderAndWiser | 3.5K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Maybe he thinks you are The One and he feels he should give a relationship with you the best possible chance of success. And he may have also realized that no relationship is perfect, there will always be some conflict with a partner, and he can tolerate that and try to work on it instead of running away. Would you value him more if he treated you horribly?

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2 People

Asker

1 y
That makes sense.

No, I wouldn't. I would leave him if he treated me horribly.
OlderAndWiser

1 y
I understand him because I treat my partner like a queen. . . but I want a woman who will treat me like a king!
Asker

1 y
Aww she's lucky to have you. 😊❤

I want to treat him that way but sometimes I'm not able to.
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OlderAndWiser

1 y
It's not necessarily a matter of having money. I am at her house for dinner and she asks what would I like to drink, did I have enough to eat, would I like a dessert, am I comfortable, etc. She cares about how I feel, my comfort, my satisfaction. Those little things get noticed!
Asker

1 y
That's awesome! You guys must be so happy! I love hearing about relationships like yours.
OlderAndWiser

1 y
Thanks for MHO!
Asker

1 y
You're welcome!

Answer 2

Asker

That makes sense.

No, I wouldn't. I would leave him if he treated me horribly.

Answer 3

OlderAndWiser

I understand him because I treat my partner like a queen. . . but I want a woman who will treat me like a king!

Answer 4

Asker

Aww she's lucky to have you. 😊❤

I want to treat him that way but sometimes I'm not able to.

Answer 5

OlderAndWiser

It's not necessarily a matter of having money. I am at her house for dinner and she asks what would I like to drink, did I have enough to eat, would I like a dessert, am I comfortable, etc. She cares about how I feel, my comfort, my satisfaction. Those little things get noticed!

Answer 6

Asker

That's awesome! You guys must be so happy! I love hearing about relationships like yours.

Answer 7

OlderAndWiser

Thanks for MHO!

Answer 8

Asker

You're welcome!

Answer 9

Gooblegobble

Xper 5

In my experience, guys can get really attached to a woman that they care for and want to do things to make them happy. It means he likes you and will hopefully treat you right. He knows when you get rude that you don't mean it. Maybe he's desperate, though, I don't know.

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1 Person

Answer 10

i22on

Xper 5

No, that doesn't mean he is desperate. Maybe he is, but probably not.

I know because I am in similar situation right now... girl I like doesn't want relationship and she knows that I like her. And maybe she thinks I am desperate or something but no, I am not. Just realy like her I just care for her. Simple as that. Maybe I am that guy which likes you haha.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. She might change her mind and fall for you. :)

I don't think you're desperate. Hahaha you could be the guy who likes me...
i22on

1 y
Maybe she will, but I will not pretend to be her friend because it is not friendship, it is friendzone. Thank you 🙂

Haha probably I am not that guy, but you can not be sure haha 🤣 you are in same age range as she is so...
i22on

1 y
And can I ask you why you don't want relaationship?
If he is nice to you and you have good time with him, you can give him a chance. Just go out with him, tell him that you are not into him, but you will go out with him and see how it goes. I would be happy with answer like this.
Have fun and maybe this is good for you. Maybe you will fall for him. Why do you think it is not possible?
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Asker

1 y
I understand you. You don't like her as a friend, you want more than that. You're welcome. :)

Hahaha no, you're not him and I'm sure 😂😂😂😂
Asker

1 y
I'm not ready for a relationship, especially with the conditions we have. I would love to go out with him but that's not possible because we live in different countries. However, I'm willing to meet him in person when we can.

I also think it's not possible for me to like him because he's almost 20 years older than me. I guess that difference could bring us some issues.
i22on

1 y
Oh yes, 20 years is to much. You are not in the same country and this makes thing difficult. You are right, 20 years gap can couse some issues in future. You are young and it is better for you to find someone your age. It wouldn't be hard for you 😉
Personaly, I would never be in LDR with someona 20 years older. It is big no for me. So, I totally understand you.

Just told him if he ask that it is better for him to go on and find someone who is better for him.
Asker

1 y
Oh trust me, it's hard. Impossible to be honest.

I get you, but we are not in a LDR, we are just trying to get to know each other better and see where this goes.
I never told him that, we just agreed that if we find someone we would let the other know.
i22on

1 y
Yes, I know that you are not in LDR, but if you would be, it would be to hard for you because age gap of 5 or 10 years is ok, but 20 is to much.

Just do not wasting your time and energy for someone and something that probably won't sucess. Do not give hime to much hope and just be on the 'market' and you will see. It is just my advice.

Anyways, wish you a best luck 🙂
Asker

1 y
Ok, I know what you mean. Thank you, I appreciate your advice. He said we can be friends if we don't end up together.

I'm not interested in being in the "market" now and even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Thank you! :)

Answer 11

Asker

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. She might change her mind and fall for you. :)

I don't think you're desperate. Hahaha you could be the guy who likes me...

Answer 12

i22on

Maybe she will, but I will not pretend to be her friend because it is not friendship, it is friendzone. Thank you 🙂

Haha probably I am not that guy, but you can not be sure haha 🤣 you are in same age range as she is so...

Answer 13

i22on

And can I ask you why you don't want relaationship?
If he is nice to you and you have good time with him, you can give him a chance. Just go out with him, tell him that you are not into him, but you will go out with him and see how it goes. I would be happy with answer like this.
Have fun and maybe this is good for you. Maybe you will fall for him. Why do you think it is not possible?

Answer 14

Asker

I understand you. You don't like her as a friend, you want more than that. You're welcome. :)

Hahaha no, you're not him and I'm sure 😂😂😂😂

Answer 15

Asker

I'm not ready for a relationship, especially with the conditions we have. I would love to go out with him but that's not possible because we live in different countries. However, I'm willing to meet him in person when we can.

I also think it's not possible for me to like him because he's almost 20 years older than me. I guess that difference could bring us some issues.

Answer 16

i22on

Oh yes, 20 years is to much. You are not in the same country and this makes thing difficult. You are right, 20 years gap can couse some issues in future. You are young and it is better for you to find someone your age. It wouldn't be hard for you 😉
Personaly, I would never be in LDR with someona 20 years older. It is big no for me. So, I totally understand you.

Just told him if he ask that it is better for him to go on and find someone who is better for him.

Answer 17

Asker

Oh trust me, it's hard. Impossible to be honest.

I get you, but we are not in a LDR, we are just trying to get to know each other better and see where this goes.
I never told him that, we just agreed that if we find someone we would let the other know.

Answer 18

i22on

Yes, I know that you are not in LDR, but if you would be, it would be to hard for you because age gap of 5 or 10 years is ok, but 20 is to much.

Just do not wasting your time and energy for someone and something that probably won't sucess. Do not give hime to much hope and just be on the 'market' and you will see. It is just my advice.

Anyways, wish you a best luck 🙂

Answer 19

Asker

Ok, I know what you mean. Thank you, I appreciate your advice. He said we can be friends if we don't end up together.

I'm not interested in being in the "market" now and even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Thank you! :)

Answer 20

DavidDong

Xper 5

It can but it can't it's all about the vibe he gives.
Does he feel like he truly cares for you

Otherwise watch yourself, that's a classic get in the pants move.

But really lean towards he cares for you
It doesn't always matter if he's desperate or not, you can be desperate and loving, what's so bad about that

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
Yes, it does feel that he truly cares for me but I still have some doubts.

It would be bad if he was desperate, that would mean that I wasn't enough for him.
DavidDong

1 y
How does it mean you are not enough, it means he feels he is not enough, it's the fact you worry about his desperation which leads him further to have your approval. Reassure him then if you love him back.
DavidDong

1 y
If you weren't enough he would dump you real quick by the way
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Asker

1 y
I get you. I mean, I would assume that he was seeing me as a second option, as his last resource.

Answer 21

Asker

Yes, it does feel that he truly cares for me but I still have some doubts.

It would be bad if he was desperate, that would mean that I wasn't enough for him.

Answer 22

DavidDong

How does it mean you are not enough, it means he feels he is not enough, it's the fact you worry about his desperation which leads him further to have your approval. Reassure him then if you love him back.

Answer 23

DavidDong

If you weren't enough he would dump you real quick by the way

Answer 24

Asker

I get you. I mean, I would assume that he was seeing me as a second option, as his last resource.

Answer 25

Anonymous

It means to me that he likes you a lot and wants to please you. But I question how into him you are with this? Being rude sometimes and wondering if he's "desperate"? Is he too nice for you or something? You might want to look at that and how you view him. Maybe you're not a match? He might be a nice guy, but maybe not what you need and want?

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I like him, but sometimes it's hard for me to deal with him. Sometimes I feel that we have too many things against us.
Yeah, I think he's too nice even though I like the way he treats me. Well I'm still trying to figure out if he is what I need and want.
Opinion Owner

1 y
"Too nice" is better than the other way though right? lol
Asker

1 y
It is, but it's not that simple...

Answer 26

Asker

I like him, but sometimes it's hard for me to deal with him. Sometimes I feel that we have too many things against us.
Yeah, I think he's too nice even though I like the way he treats me. Well I'm still trying to figure out if he is what I need and want.

Answer 27

Opinion Owner

"Too nice" is better than the other way though right? lol

Answer 28

Asker

It is, but it's not that simple...

Answer 29

MecheD | 111 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 7

I wouldn't say he is desperate. He may just thinks lightly of the "topic" of your disagreement. with that being said also when just talking to someone. the best of who they are will always shine through in the essence of the "chase" thats going on between the two individuals.

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1 Person

Answer 30

Anonymous

This is just another reason why men believe women like to be treated badly.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I can see why you think that. But I don't like being treated badly.
Opinion Owner

1 y
Do you even know what your want? You have a man who by all indications treats you well and he still is kind and caring towards you even when you are rude to him. And for that, you think he is "desperate"? It doesn't occur to you that he might just be a good person who is patients and caring?

You women are so fucked up.
Asker

1 y
Yes, I do. I'm saying that he might be desperate because he could be interested in a woman who is nearby instead of being interested in someone who is so far away from him. Of course he can be a good person who is caring and patient.

Answer 31

Asker

I can see why you think that. But I don't like being treated badly.

Answer 32

Opinion Owner

Do you even know what your want? You have a man who by all indications treats you well and he still is kind and caring towards you even when you are rude to him. And for that, you think he is "desperate"? It doesn't occur to you that he might just be a good person who is patients and caring?

You women are so fucked up.

Answer 33

Asker

Yes, I do. I'm saying that he might be desperate because he could be interested in a woman who is nearby instead of being interested in someone who is so far away from him. Of course he can be a good person who is caring and patient.

Answer 34

Anonymous

Ah, the double- think of a woman. If he won't do everything for you, he's not into you; and if he will do everything for you, he's just desperate.

Slow clap. Bravo.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
You didn't even read the whole question but ok...
Stunt

1 y
He said what you needed to hear. He might genuinely care about you deeply in a noncrazy way. I will say that until he makes you regret anytime spent, you should always trust the person is sincere.
Opinion Owner

1 y
I did read the whole question. He likes you even when you're being an asshole, so he must be desperate (or "something else", which means it's still a problem on his part).
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Asker

1 y
@Stunt Well I can see why he thinks that. So far, I have no regrets. So I guess you're right, I can trust him.
Asker

1 y
Ok, I get your point. I didn't say he has a problem, I'm just having some doubts.

Answer 35

Asker

You didn't even read the whole question but ok...

Answer 36

Stunt

He said what you needed to hear. He might genuinely care about you deeply in a noncrazy way. I will say that until he makes you regret anytime spent, you should always trust the person is sincere.

Answer 37

Opinion Owner

I did read the whole question. He likes you even when you're being an asshole, so he must be desperate (or "something else", which means it's still a problem on his part).

Answer 38

Asker

@Stunt Well I can see why he thinks that. So far, I have no regrets. So I guess you're right, I can trust him.

Answer 39

Asker

Ok, I get your point. I didn't say he has a problem, I'm just having some doubts.

Answer 40

Anonymous

speaking from personal experience it's not desperate it's deeply in love

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Opinion Owner

1 y
head over heels wanting to spend the rest of my life with D***
she has my heart and my soul
the heartwarming smile that crosses my face when something reminds me of her
that good morning message or good night message i leave her
the how is your day going just so she knows i'm thinking about her without actually saying i'm thinking of you
telling her to dress warm or to keep warm when it gets cold and chilly outside
asking her if she ate lunch or dinner
asking her how her pets are
the type of love you want to last forever like sitting in a rocking chair out on a porch her with a blanket over her lap and glasses on talking and watching the sunset
and sharing pictures of the sunset with her
Opinion Owner

1 y
listen people disagree on stuff if everybody agreed on everything then debates and topics to discuss and issues to discuss wouldn't have been created. let me give you an example. the woman i love has been pro biden. now for me i never cared for either biden or trump (in fact i couldn't stand both), but when i looked carefully at what biden and trump had to offer (trump being into fossil fuels and biden being into greener cleaner energy and biden wanting to raise minimum wage and trump not and biden with universal health care of some kind while trump doesn't it made me lean more towards biden even though i still don't like the guy but his policies are better than trumps and the woman i love helped me see that and take open my eyes more and take different perspectives on things)
Opinion Owner

1 y
So what is it that you want and don't want in a relationship?
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Asker

1 y
Awww that's so sweet!! 😊❤

She's lucky for having you. :) I can tell that you really love her based on how you talk about her and she even made you change your political views. That's powerful! Hope you guys are happy! :)
Asker

1 y
I don't want a toxic relationship, I don't want him to be dependent on me for everything, I don't want to be "addicted" to him nor him to be "addicted" to me. I want us to be lovers and friends at the same time, I want trust, openness, patience, care and of course love.

Answer 41

Opinion Owner

head over heels wanting to spend the rest of my life with D***
she has my heart and my soul
the heartwarming smile that crosses my face when something reminds me of her
that good morning message or good night message i leave her
the how is your day going just so she knows i'm thinking about her without actually saying i'm thinking of you
telling her to dress warm or to keep warm when it gets cold and chilly outside
asking her if she ate lunch or dinner
asking her how her pets are
the type of love you want to last forever like sitting in a rocking chair out on a porch her with a blanket over her lap and glasses on talking and watching the sunset
and sharing pictures of the sunset with her

Answer 42

Opinion Owner

listen people disagree on stuff if everybody agreed on everything then debates and topics to discuss and issues to discuss wouldn't have been created. let me give you an example. the woman i love has been pro biden. now for me i never cared for either biden or trump (in fact i couldn't stand both), but when i looked carefully at what biden and trump had to offer (trump being into fossil fuels and biden being into greener cleaner energy and biden wanting to raise minimum wage and trump not and biden with universal health care of some kind while trump doesn't it made me lean more towards biden even though i still don't like the guy but his policies are better than trumps and the woman i love helped me see that and take open my eyes more and take different perspectives on things)

Answer 43

Opinion Owner

So what is it that you want and don't want in a relationship?

Answer 44

Asker

Awww that's so sweet!! 😊❤

She's lucky for having you. :) I can tell that you really love her based on how you talk about her and she even made you change your political views. That's powerful! Hope you guys are happy! :)

Answer 45

Asker

I don't want a toxic relationship, I don't want him to be dependent on me for everything, I don't want to be "addicted" to him nor him to be "addicted" to me. I want us to be lovers and friends at the same time, I want trust, openness, patience, care and of course love.

Answer 46

Amanda2

Explorer

It’s called investing because he likes you

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2 People

Answer 47

tjbyrd39

Xper 6

Yes and no and maybe so

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Answer 48

Anonymous

Yes or in love or married.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
Ok. I know he's not married.

Answer 49

Asker

Ok. I know he's not married.

If a man is willing to do everything he can for a woman does that mean he's desperate?

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