How to stop being the nice guy when it’s in my nature to be nice?

Question

Answer 1

Guru

When people talk about nice guys, they usually have a specific idea of what it means to be "nice". Go do a little reading on the difference between being "nice" and being "kind" as a man. You might decide you're a kind guy rather than a nice guy, and if that's the case then you should keep doing it.

And if you find you really are a nice guy, well then you're just going to have to figure out how to develop a personality.

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Answer 2

Anonymous

I'm a nice guy too.
I just eventually learned how to be nice without being naive.
I can be a loving person without being blind.
I can love without trust.
I can live in the moment with women without getting attached or used for things that I don't want to be used for.
It's just a skill you learn after being taken advantage of for too long.
Keep being a nice guy, but also be smart about it because people love to use nice guys.

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Asker

1 y
I understand what you’re saying. What I see is I get used by females but not for materialistic things. It’s more like for attention and emotionally. I never speak up but when I do I’m looked at as a bad person because I accept things that I should never accept
Opinion Owner

1 y
Yes, I too have been used as an emotional sponge for a woman as well as for attention.
You will be used by them for whatever you are good for.
It's up to you to decide what exactly you want to be used for by women, what you want in a relationship and what you're willing to give.
Personally I do not want to be used for money.
I don't want to be used to help her move and do her repairs.
I don't want to be her babysitter.
I don't want to be her taxi driver.
I prefer to be her source of love, attention, sex and companionship.
Asker

1 y
I agree with you. It’s all about boundaries. I never establish them until it’s too late

Answer 3

Asker

I understand what you’re saying. What I see is I get used by females but not for materialistic things. It’s more like for attention and emotionally. I never speak up but when I do I’m looked at as a bad person because I accept things that I should never accept

Answer 4

Opinion Owner

Yes, I too have been used as an emotional sponge for a woman as well as for attention.
You will be used by them for whatever you are good for.
It's up to you to decide what exactly you want to be used for by women, what you want in a relationship and what you're willing to give.
Personally I do not want to be used for money.
I don't want to be used to help her move and do her repairs.
I don't want to be her babysitter.
I don't want to be her taxi driver.
I prefer to be her source of love, attention, sex and companionship.

Answer 5

Asker

I agree with you. It’s all about boundaries. I never establish them until it’s too late

Answer 6

Butterflyy88

Xper 5

Nothing wrong with being a nice guy, just make sure you don't become a push over.
Don't let people take advantage of you or use you in any way, and make sure to stand up for yourself if you find yourself in these situations. Doesn't mean you have to stop being nice, but be more assertive and don't be afraid to speak up if you feel something isn't right.
hopefully that helps.

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Answer 7

Anonymous

It's not about being a nice guy, it's probably about being a bit of a push over. There's nothing wrong with you but mnay girls want someone who can keep them on their toes a bit too.

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Answer 8

talloak | 237 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Why do you want o stop being nice? There are women who like nice guys. You can work on any of the negative qualities typically associated with "nice", such as being too submissive or indecisive, without losing the positive qualities, such as compassion, selflessness and thoughtfulness.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I think most woman don’t like nice guys. They look at you as if you have ulterior motives
talloak

1 y
From my experience, many women don't like nice guys. But that's not really going to change for you by adopting a different persona, unless you succeed, which would be very unfortunate. Many women really like nice guys. For some reason, a lot of nice guys ignore those women. As for ulterior motives, being unusually helpful can cause alarm to many in this distrustful age. You need to be judicious about who you try to help and how you go about it.

Answer 9

Asker

I think most woman don’t like nice guys. They look at you as if you have ulterior motives

Answer 10

talloak

From my experience, many women don't like nice guys. But that's not really going to change for you by adopting a different persona, unless you succeed, which would be very unfortunate. Many women really like nice guys. For some reason, a lot of nice guys ignore those women. As for ulterior motives, being unusually helpful can cause alarm to many in this distrustful age. You need to be judicious about who you try to help and how you go about it.

Answer 11

MecheD | 111 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 7

Its not necessary my guy in fact all that is needed is for you to refocus that same kindness towards something else (preferably yourself) . With that being said take some time to focus on you.

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Answer 12

Liam_Hayden

Guru

You can be a nice guy, just don't be a "nice guy." If you are kind and helpful that is fine. If you are helpful in the hope of getting laid, that is a "nice guy."

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Answer 13

Dave31989

Yoda

learn to say no, when you know you shouldn't do something

they'll respect you more for it

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Answer 14

Anonymous

Once you understand the true nature of women, you will stop letting them simp train you.

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Asker

1 y
I don’t think I let them simp train me

Answer 15

Asker

I don’t think I let them simp train me

Answer 16

Anonymous

don't
but watch out for yourself and GOD

everyone else has a choice to make

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Answer 17

LastQueenOfScotland

Xper 5

Dont stop being nice?

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Asker

1 y
People don’t like nice guys
LastQueenOfScotland

1 y
Hmmmmmm yeah they do
JosyJosy

1 y
you're taking it too literally
Show All Show Less
LastQueenOfScotland

1 y
Who?
JosyJosy

1 y
Him.

Answer 18

Asker

People don’t like nice guys

Answer 19

LastQueenOfScotland

Hmmmmmm yeah they do

Answer 20

JosyJosy

you're taking it too literally

Answer 21

LastQueenOfScotland

Who?

Answer 22

JosyJosy

Him.

Answer 23

JosyJosy | 1.6K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Snapping

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Asker

1 y
Huh?
JosyJosy

1 y
Even nice people have a boiling point
JosyJosy

1 y
You won't be nice anymore when you reach that
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Asker

1 y
I’m definitely at that point but I never express it out of fear
JosyJosy

1 y
You better express it and let it out, or that emotion consumes you
Asker

1 y
I feel if I’m say how I feel people might look at me as if I’m a bad person
JosyJosy

1 y
It's better to go through life being yourself, wouldn't you say?
Asker

1 y
You’re right. I just have to break that barrier or continue being walked over.
JosyJosy

1 y
You said it "being walked over" you can still be nice, and stand up for yourself at the same time, you can't please everyone on this planet

Answer 24

JosyJosy

Even nice people have a boiling point

Answer 25

JosyJosy

You won't be nice anymore when you reach that

Answer 26

Asker

I’m definitely at that point but I never express it out of fear

Answer 27

JosyJosy

You better express it and let it out, or that emotion consumes you

Answer 28

Asker

I feel if I’m say how I feel people might look at me as if I’m a bad person

Answer 29

JosyJosy

It's better to go through life being yourself, wouldn't you say?

Answer 30

Asker

You’re right. I just have to break that barrier or continue being walked over.

Answer 31

JosyJosy

You said it "being walked over" you can still be nice, and stand up for yourself at the same time, you can't please everyone on this planet

How to stop being the nice guy when it’s in my nature to be nice?

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