Does being engaged 3 times sound like a red flag?

Question

There's this guy I've been talking to. He told me he was engaged 3 times and that he was cheated on 3 times by the women he was engaged to.

I like him, but I find this a little bit odd. Should I be concerned?

Updates:

5 d

*sounds

Answer 1

Citizenkirk | 63 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 7

Concerned? Should I be concerned that I as responding too an anonymous person about a relationship senario I know nothing about, other than that one it involves you, Mr or Mrs. anonymous, some guy that got cheated on and was hurt in a relationship previously, and apparently doesn't want to get hurt again, and the person that hurt him.
I don't even know who it is you are concerned about, be it him, his unfaithful ex, you, a concerned 4th. party, or what. The only red flags I see hear, is the possibility of you taking relationship advice from strangers with so little information too go on.
Fortunately for you, I have an example of an engagement senario involving the mother of a good friend of mine who was engaged to her second husband for 10 years. Apparently her first marriage was such a debacle, that she had no intention of experiencing a third. They have been happily married for over two decades now, with no indication of any marital problems other than whatever minor disagreements that every married couple has at one point or another, that have no worse consequences than great makeup sex.
Engagements are a trial run for married life, and a long engagement gives a couple time too get too know each other and experience married life before tying the knot.
As far as any trust issues you may, or may not have with this guy based on his disclosure of this information, I see the fact that he chose too share this personal information with you as an indication that he trusts you, and showing the same trust to him might be a point in your favor.

Answer 2

Skankhunt | 69 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

Yes, it is a red flag. There is something wrong with him, either emotionally (insecurity, fear, anxiety, bad experience etc) or he has a bad intuition and therefore picking the wrong women to marry with.

If he picked the right woman, this would never happened (being cheated on). It's not bad he was engaged 3 time with the wrong women, it just means he should be cautious the next time when it come to picking the right women.

Evergreen79

5 d
Sometimes you can pick the "right" person and still get cheated on. Sometimes you just don't know if a person is going to cheat.
Skankhunt

4 d
@Evergreen79 That's the risk you have to take if you want tp experience love. There is no such thing as 100% guarantee.

People who cheat even if they love you, are insecure. They think they don't deserve their partner or feel like they are worthless.
Asker

4 d
I think it might be an emotional problem.
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Skankhunt

4 d
Probably

Answer 3

Evergreen79

Sometimes you can pick the "right" person and still get cheated on. Sometimes you just don't know if a person is going to cheat.

Answer 4

Skankhunt

@Evergreen79 That's the risk you have to take if you want tp experience love. There is no such thing as 100% guarantee.

People who cheat even if they love you, are insecure. They think they don't deserve their partner or feel like they are worthless.

Answer 5

Asker

I think it might be an emotional problem.

Answer 6

Skankhunt

Probably

Answer 7

Xoxocutekitty | 119 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

That's a red flag. I get maybe one or even two (like, maybe he was really young and he got "engaged at 17" but then she moved away and then cheating long distance, and then he tried again the second time and then like she cheated 'for no reason'.

Three times suggests that he either:
1) isn't handling relationship problems/ doesn't communicate very well which leads to a desire to look for more aka cheating or
2) has a bad metric for picking partners, where is he finding all of these women that eventually think they can do better than him
3) is possibly a flight risk himself as getting cheated on hurts deep, but can also lead to future self sabotaging behaviors which drive partners away

Asker

4 d
All of this makes sense to me. I feel that it's more like the first thing you said, because he doesn't talk much.

Answer 8

Asker

All of this makes sense to me. I feel that it's more like the first thing you said, because he doesn't talk much.

Answer 9

CurlyGirl42

Xper 6

Did he tell you how long he was with these women? One concern would be that he proposes way too early, before he really know the person by heart.
Another is if he can be very jealous. Not letting his girl do a lot of things, like hang out with her friends, and lead for the girl to leave him by cheating.
So just find out a bit more about it and judge yourself if you think he is a good person by getting to know him better.

Answer 10

Bananaman177 | 709 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

That's what engagements are for.

That's the time to take a relationship for a serious test drive and it's the last opportunity to change your mind. The only red flag I see is that this guy has very poor taste in women. You have to be one hell of a fucking worthless slut to not even be able to keep your legs closed when you're engaged to somebody else. Some guys have a huge blindspot when it comes to women, and they just can't see all the warning signs that are so obvious to everyone else. But women are more promiscuous and self-absorbed now than they ever have been before, and a lot of them are behaving quite openly and even brazenly in ways that they wouldn't have even behaved in secret during generations past.

Personally, I think the biggest red flag here is that you're extremely judgmental and you like to leap to conclusions based on prejudice and emotion that has nothing to do with the facts of the case. That's way more troubling. People who are always LOOKING for something to be wrong usually find it sooner or later, and most often, it wasn't there until they started looking for it and just wouldn't let it go. You can very easily manifest a problem from nothing by pretending it's there when it's not. You "meme" them into reality.

I wouldn't marry you, I find that quality of yours extremely unattractive. You should take what you can get, you're not as great a catch as you think you are.

Asker

4 d
I didn't ask you to marry me so we are even Lol
Bananaman177

4 d
We were never -not- even, silly.

You asked for the opinions of strangers, and I obliged you. Perhaps you should have been more specific and asked for validation instead?
MintChocolateChip

4 d
She asked you to answer her questions with your opinion on if it's a red flag to you, not to start assuming things about her you have no business trying to assume. I don't disagree that maybe she's being a little hypocritical, but notice the maybe. I don't know. I made an assumption off of incomplete info, so my assumption shouldn't be taken super harshly or personally.
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Bananaman177

4 d
@MintChocolateChip I didn't make an assumption, I made a deduction based entirely on her own words.

Worlds of difference.
nella965

4 d
Someone who has been engaged 3 times then canceled them all shows impaired judgement. Don't be surprised if he proposes to you too and then cancels it again. Just like a criminal record shows a lot about an individual. Dating history also shows a lot about you too.
Asker

3 d
I didn't ask you to answer. You have plenty of questions to answer, I didn't force you Lol
Asker

3 d
@MintChocolateChip Like I said before I didn't ask him to answer this question. He could ignore it.
Why do you think I'm being hypocritical?
Asker

3 d
@nella965 Thank you for your answer.

Answer 11

Asker

I didn't ask you to marry me so we are even Lol

Answer 12

Bananaman177

We were never -not- even, silly.

You asked for the opinions of strangers, and I obliged you. Perhaps you should have been more specific and asked for validation instead?
Does being engaged 3 times sound like a red flag?

Answer 13

MintChocolateChip

She asked you to answer her questions with your opinion on if it's a red flag to you, not to start assuming things about her you have no business trying to assume. I don't disagree that maybe she's being a little hypocritical, but notice the maybe. I don't know. I made an assumption off of incomplete info, so my assumption shouldn't be taken super harshly or personally.

Answer 14

Bananaman177

@MintChocolateChip I didn't make an assumption, I made a deduction based entirely on her own words.

Worlds of difference.

Answer 15

nella965

Someone who has been engaged 3 times then canceled them all shows impaired judgement. Don't be surprised if he proposes to you too and then cancels it again. Just like a criminal record shows a lot about an individual. Dating history also shows a lot about you too.

Answer 16

Asker

I didn't ask you to answer. You have plenty of questions to answer, I didn't force you Lol

Answer 17

Asker

@MintChocolateChip Like I said before I didn't ask him to answer this question. He could ignore it.
Why do you think I'm being hypocritical?

Answer 18

Asker

@nella965 Thank you for your answer.

Answer 19

Finchie40 | 602 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Yea that would raise some red flags and I would really reconsider being with someone like that , He claims his 3 fiancé’s all cheated on him? So the question is why did they really cheat on him? You could be number 4 lol I honestly don’t get girls that fall for guys that were married like 3 or 4 times , like what the fuck is the girl thinking getting involved with a guy that has a track record like that? 1 time understandable but 3 or 4 times , if I was that guy I would never marry again , people are fucking nuts

Asker

4 d
I don't know why they cheated on him, I'm trying to find that out. I wouldn't be number 4, that's for sure.

He didn't get married.
Finchie40

4 d
Honestly you shouldn’t even give him a chance to be honest , Getting engaged to someone pretty much means you dated that person for a long time to the point you feel you can spend the rest of
Your life with them , unless this dude is just desperate and he put an engagement ring on their finger after 2 weeks he dated them lol but a normal person wouldn’t propose to someone unless they feel they really have a connection , and great chemistry and again that takes awhile , so for him to get
To that point with these 3 girls just goes to show his intentions of getting married are what probably freaked these girls out to cheat on him , He probably thinks by putting a ring on a girls finger that he now owns her and she has to do what he says , he is probably a controlling asshole , for 3 fiancé’s to all cheat on him that goes to show it’s not the girls it’s him
Asker

3 d
You're so right! Thank you for not being an idiot like some dudes who answered this question.
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Finchie40

3 d
I try to give honest opinions as much as possible So thank you for the compliment
Asker

3 d
You're welcome. I was also being honest and you didn't judge me.
Finchie40

3 d
No reason to judge someone , people that judge others have their own issues to deal with because bottom line , what you do is your choice , we all aren’t perfect people , so to say whether you are right or wrong it doesn’t matter , all I can do is give advice on what I would do in that sorta situation , but what you choose to do is on you , You can say fuck you Finchie40 I am giving this guy a chance , all I can say is good luck hope it works out for ya lol
Asker

2 d
"No reason to judge someone , people that judge others have their own issues to deal with because bottom line , what you do is your choice..." - Thank you for understanding that. I'm not going to say f*** you Finchie40 Lol I really appreciate your advice. :) Thank you for wishing me good luck, I'll see what happens next.
Finchie40

2 d
Whatever you choose to do , I hope it goes the right way for you 😘
Asker

1 d
Thank you! 😘

Answer 20

Asker

I don't know why they cheated on him, I'm trying to find that out. I wouldn't be number 4, that's for sure.

He didn't get married.

Answer 21

Finchie40

Honestly you shouldn’t even give him a chance to be honest , Getting engaged to someone pretty much means you dated that person for a long time to the point you feel you can spend the rest of
Your life with them , unless this dude is just desperate and he put an engagement ring on their finger after 2 weeks he dated them lol but a normal person wouldn’t propose to someone unless they feel they really have a connection , and great chemistry and again that takes awhile , so for him to get
To that point with these 3 girls just goes to show his intentions of getting married are what probably freaked these girls out to cheat on him , He probably thinks by putting a ring on a girls finger that he now owns her and she has to do what he says , he is probably a controlling asshole , for 3 fiancé’s to all cheat on him that goes to show it’s not the girls it’s him

Answer 22

Asker

You're so right! Thank you for not being an idiot like some dudes who answered this question.

Answer 23

Finchie40

I try to give honest opinions as much as possible So thank you for the compliment

Answer 24

Asker

You're welcome. I was also being honest and you didn't judge me.

Answer 25

Finchie40

No reason to judge someone , people that judge others have their own issues to deal with because bottom line , what you do is your choice , we all aren’t perfect people , so to say whether you are right or wrong it doesn’t matter , all I can do is give advice on what I would do in that sorta situation , but what you choose to do is on you , You can say fuck you Finchie40 I am giving this guy a chance , all I can say is good luck hope it works out for ya lol

Answer 26

Asker

"No reason to judge someone , people that judge others have their own issues to deal with because bottom line , what you do is your choice..." - Thank you for understanding that. I'm not going to say f*** you Finchie40 Lol I really appreciate your advice. :) Thank you for wishing me good luck, I'll see what happens next.

Answer 27

Finchie40

Whatever you choose to do , I hope it goes the right way for you 😘

Answer 28

Asker

Thank you! 😘

Answer 29

RemoErdosain | 280 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

You make it sound like the poor guy who has a bad streak of women has no right to get a decent one. This is if you're, in fact, a decent one, which we obviously don't know from your post. This is like saying if someone gets mugged it's a red flag. Also, the lot of people saying he should've picked better probably just never found out when they got cheated on. Pretty much everyone gets cheated on at some point in their lives. It's just one of those things that happen, especially in today's society. It's not as if he was married. He got engaged, which is basically a promise that one day you'll marry, then found out they were breaking that promise with their unloyalty, and end of story. It doesn't seem like a very big deal to me

Answer 30

Anonymous

3 times is something. He's either had really bad luck, but probably just rushed things and got engaged too soon. But as I've learned myself (not the same situation), some people can be terrific actors/actresses. So I'm sure you can't shine the spotlight solely on him. I wouldn't say "red flag", but if I was proceeding in a relationship like this, I would definitely keep that in mind that the person might tend to rush things and proceed with caution. I'd also find out all about it and what happened exactly.

Asker

1 d
I get you, but if they cheated on him there's probably something wrong with him. I mean, if he was only cheated on once, I would understand but 3 times? It's definitely suspicious.
I'll be cautious for sure.

Answer 31

Asker

I get you, but if they cheated on him there's probably something wrong with him. I mean, if he was only cheated on once, I would understand but 3 times? It's definitely suspicious.
I'll be cautious for sure.

Answer 32

EssenceOfLight | 62 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

No. People who tend to cheat exchange their partners quite often, that's why probability to start a relationship with a cheater is much higher than with someone who doesn't cheat. His only mistake that he has being engaged with wrong girls and he didn't learn anything.
Most guys started and continued a relationship with a girl who has been still in one that slowly decayed. However majority isn't foolish enough to believe they are someone special for the girl and she won't cheat on them like she did with the guy beforehand. Being engaged with this type of girl is completely pointless and the best way is to dump her before she starts to cheat.

Mistake of guy you're dating is likely his ignorance and lack of situational awareness.

Answer 33

Kiss_Me | 110 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

I think so.
What does it say about a guy that has said, "I want to spend the rest of my life with YOU." to three different women?
I have seen that weak guys NEED an extra level of security in their relationships, so they ask their girlfriend's for marriage. The girl almost always cheats on them. Sound familiar?

Dodge this bullet and find a new guy.

Asker

3 d
I see what you mean.

Answer 34

Asker

I see what you mean.

Answer 35

alicat2358

Xper 5

Either he has a bad choice in women or he's the problem. Seems like a red flag to me. Maybe he's toxic and controlling after getting engaged and his actions lead to them cheating. He could also be making it up and he was in the wrong in all of those relationships
He could be been the one cheating for all you know. 3 engagements is a lot and I dont think it's a coincidence

Asker

4 d
I think those are all valid reasons.

Answer 36

Asker

I think those are all valid reasons.

Answer 37

watrewks

Xper 5

This is definitely odd, but I think you need to explore the situation a little bit more. He could just be lying to make you sympathetic towards him, in which case you shouldn’t be with a guy like that.

Those situations are probably complicated and he’s just saying that. I wouldn’t say it’s an overt red flag but more of a yellow warning sign.

Asker

4 d
"He could just be lying to make you sympathetic towards him, in which case you shouldn’t be with a guy like that." - That's also what I thought when we told me that. I thought that maybe he's playing the victim.
watrewks

4 d
Yeah it’s a possibility. But it sounds like you don’t know enough to tell. Maybe as he reveals his personality more then you’ll be able to
Asker

3 d
That's true, I need to find out more about him.

Answer 38

Asker

"He could just be lying to make you sympathetic towards him, in which case you shouldn’t be with a guy like that." - That's also what I thought when we told me that. I thought that maybe he's playing the victim.

Answer 39

watrewks

Yeah it’s a possibility. But it sounds like you don’t know enough to tell. Maybe as he reveals his personality more then you’ll be able to

Answer 40

Asker

That's true, I need to find out more about him.

Answer 41

PeterAyre

Xper 5

How long until he got engaged in each case. Does he have a thing for 'bad girls' or girls that are more likely to cheat. How did he find out in each case. Was there a reason why he was cheated on rather than just disposed of. Is he lying about the reason the engagements failed. Those are the questions I would be thinking.

Asker

4 d
I need to ask him all of these questions. You gave me a great idea, thank you!

Answer 42

Asker

I need to ask him all of these questions. You gave me a great idea, thank you!

Answer 43

MannMitAntworten | 1.3K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Haha... he has me beat. Only two of my ex-fiancés cheated. One just turned out to be hell is all. To their credit they married the men they cheated with which strangely the next guy a woman sees (or starts ti see in the cheats’ case), they always end up marrying. I am kind of like the marriage prep boyfriend/date. It has been a strange theme since reaching adulthood.

Anyway, is it a red flag? Only if you make it out to be. He might be the beat guy for you ever but hold his ex-fiancés over him or even give them more thought than they deserve and you will never know because you decides to go with making the entirety of his worth, those failed relationships. It is a form of sabotage...

Answer 44

jgokgotit | 229 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

I do not think you should be concerned. Women cheat more than men and just get caught less often. I actually took a survey over a year for my college and the surrounding towns and figured this out. Being engaged does not mean the fiancee will stay faithful. If nothing else is amiss, I would not be concerned.

Asker

5 d
I just wonder if he's abusive or violent. Yes of course that doesn't mean they will be faithful. But if they all cheated there's probably something wrong with him.
jgokgotit

5 d
That could be true. There could be something wrong with him. Then again, there is something wrong with everyone. Has he been mean or abusive to you? This might sting to hear, but the simple truth is that the quality of women have gone downhill so the odds are good that all 3 cheated without any good reason. Maybe they had unrealistic expectations. My advice is to not worry about his past. Watch how he treats you and people in general (waiters/waitresses, strangers, etc.) and make your own judgement based off that.
Asker

5 d
No, he was never abusive to me. I still believe they had a good reason to cheat and to break off the engagement.
I guess I'll follow your advice when I'm with him. We can't be together now because of covid.
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jgokgotit

5 d
That sounds good. How he treats people he has no special ties to will show you his real character. Also watch how he treats animals.
Asker

5 d
I agree with you. He says he wants to have a cat, so I'm not sure if that's a good sign.
jgokgotit

5 d
That seems like a good sign to me. Animals are good judges of character. I'd be more concerned if he was opposed to having pets (unless there is a good reason i. e. you already have some and he does not want too many). If a man cannot love an animal, what does that say for how he will love humans? There are many ways to watch someone's character without them knowing you are doing so, but they all take time. Just observe him and do not move too fast in the relationship. Time tells all tales.
Asker

5 d
You're absolutely right. I'll be more cautious and take one step at the time. Thank you for answering and for helping me. 😊
jgokgotit

5 d
No problem. I like helping people figure out practical solutions.
Asker

5 d
Me too. But sometimes we can help ourselves, we need the help from the others.

Answer 45

Asker

I just wonder if he's abusive or violent. Yes of course that doesn't mean they will be faithful. But if they all cheated there's probably something wrong with him.

Answer 46

jgokgotit

That could be true. There could be something wrong with him. Then again, there is something wrong with everyone. Has he been mean or abusive to you? This might sting to hear, but the simple truth is that the quality of women have gone downhill so the odds are good that all 3 cheated without any good reason. Maybe they had unrealistic expectations. My advice is to not worry about his past. Watch how he treats you and people in general (waiters/waitresses, strangers, etc.) and make your own judgement based off that.

Answer 47

Asker

No, he was never abusive to me. I still believe they had a good reason to cheat and to break off the engagement.
I guess I'll follow your advice when I'm with him. We can't be together now because of covid.

Answer 48

jgokgotit

That sounds good. How he treats people he has no special ties to will show you his real character. Also watch how he treats animals.

Answer 49

Asker

I agree with you. He says he wants to have a cat, so I'm not sure if that's a good sign.

Answer 50

jgokgotit

That seems like a good sign to me. Animals are good judges of character. I'd be more concerned if he was opposed to having pets (unless there is a good reason i. e. you already have some and he does not want too many). If a man cannot love an animal, what does that say for how he will love humans? There are many ways to watch someone's character without them knowing you are doing so, but they all take time. Just observe him and do not move too fast in the relationship. Time tells all tales.

Answer 51

Asker

You're absolutely right. I'll be more cautious and take one step at the time. Thank you for answering and for helping me. 😊

Answer 52

jgokgotit

No problem. I like helping people figure out practical solutions.

Answer 53

Asker

Me too. But sometimes we can help ourselves, we need the help from the others.

Answer 54

Thatasianlove16

Xper 5

actually, no since those relationships didn’t end because of him specifically. Honestly I would take it as if he is willing to commit and be old serious about you if you guys get to that point. Just sounds like he had picked very terrible woman to get on the knee for. If anything I feel more bad for him than anything

Thatasianlove16

3 d
Plus if kraken says anything I usually pick the opposite the guy is spiteful lol
Asker

3 d
"Plus if kraken says anything I usually pick the opposite the guy is spiteful lol" - Lol I like your strategy
Thatasianlove16

3 d
Hahaha if you seen any other of his comments on posts you know what I mean lmao
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Asker

3 d
Oh I've seen them, so I know what you're talking about Lol

Answer 55

Thatasianlove16

Plus if kraken says anything I usually pick the opposite the guy is spiteful lol

Answer 56

Asker

"Plus if kraken says anything I usually pick the opposite the guy is spiteful lol" - Lol I like your strategy

Answer 57

Thatasianlove16

Hahaha if you seen any other of his comments on posts you know what I mean lmao

Answer 58

Asker

Oh I've seen them, so I know what you're talking about Lol

Answer 59

Suzzz334

Xper 2

I would be more concerned by the fact that each time he was engaged the female cheated on him. Is he really really bad at picking a female out to date or is there something he isn’t telling you. He may want to be married but so scared he self sabotaging by dating non-marriage type women.

Asker

4 d
"He may want to be married but so scared he self sabotaging by dating non-marriage type women." - That makes sense to me.

Answer 60

Asker

"He may want to be married but so scared he self sabotaging by dating non-marriage type women." - That makes sense to me.

Answer 61

Adam1978 | 305 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Assuming it's true the red flag would be he not learning from his mistakes. He shouldn't get married in today's society. Other then that no, them cheating on him is them being bad. He clearly can't find and spot a good one, he must be using dating apps.

Answer 62

Anonymous

That is a red flag... if he was cheated on 3 times with 3 different women sounds like either he has really bad taste in women, and you should figure out that pattern if you do get into a relationship with him. Or that he is narcissistic and doesn't reciprocate the other persons needs.

Opinion Owner

3 d
Also asking him what happened with the engagements and what he thought went wrong would be good to bring up. Its better to be upfront and not waste any time trying to figure it out.
Asker

3 d
He doesn't sound narcissistic , but you might be right. I need to talk to him.
Asker

3 d
You're right, I have a lot of questions to ask him.

Answer 63

Opinion Owner

Also asking him what happened with the engagements and what he thought went wrong would be good to bring up. Its better to be upfront and not waste any time trying to figure it out.

Answer 64

Asker

He doesn't sound narcissistic , but you might be right. I need to talk to him.

Answer 65

Asker

You're right, I have a lot of questions to ask him.

Answer 66

Alyssa11 | 123 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Explorer

Not really. I’m a perfectly decent human being with good intentions and ability to commit yet my ex fiancé cheated on me twice and we broke up twice. Sometimes people can be blinded by love. The fact that he’s opening up about it says a lot too!

Asker

3 d
I'm sorry to hear that. But I think your case is different because you committed, were cheated on and broke up twice with the same person. While he was with 3 different women, that's why I find it weird.
Alyssa11

2 d
I understand but it could just be his judgement. I don’t think it means he has a bad character. My point is don’t let that ruin something that has the potential to be amazing. For me it doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker.
Asker

2 d
I get your point, but it might be a sign that he is not a good person. I'm getting suspicious. I hope I'm wrong about him, but it's hard to not think that something is strange.
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Alyssa11

2 d
Ah, I see!
Are there any other red flags that compliment this one? And I also think we're so lucky to have the gift of intuition... what does your gut tell you?
Asker

2 d
I agree with you, that's what I like about being a woman. No, this is the only red flag that I spotted.
My gut is telling me that he's too good to be true, that there must be something wrong with him.
Alyssa11

2 d
I see... okay how about you try and take things slow and just be overall aware of this feeling. I’m sure within time things will come to surface if they need to - they always do. But having said that, don’t let this alone ruin something that has the potential to be really good. Good luck!
Asker

2 d
That's a good way of seeing things. You're right, if there's anything I'll find out. We already have a couple of things against us, but thank you!
Alyssa11

1 d
Of course, good luck with it all! :)
Asker

1 d
Thank you! :)

Answer 67

Asker

I'm sorry to hear that. But I think your case is different because you committed, were cheated on and broke up twice with the same person. While he was with 3 different women, that's why I find it weird.

Answer 68

Alyssa11

I understand but it could just be his judgement. I don’t think it means he has a bad character. My point is don’t let that ruin something that has the potential to be amazing. For me it doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker.

Answer 69

Asker

I get your point, but it might be a sign that he is not a good person. I'm getting suspicious. I hope I'm wrong about him, but it's hard to not think that something is strange.

Answer 70

Alyssa11

Ah, I see!
Are there any other red flags that compliment this one? And I also think we're so lucky to have the gift of intuition... what does your gut tell you?

Answer 71

Asker

I agree with you, that's what I like about being a woman. No, this is the only red flag that I spotted.
My gut is telling me that he's too good to be true, that there must be something wrong with him.

Answer 72

Alyssa11

I see... okay how about you try and take things slow and just be overall aware of this feeling. I’m sure within time things will come to surface if they need to - they always do. But having said that, don’t let this alone ruin something that has the potential to be really good. Good luck!

Answer 73

Asker

That's a good way of seeing things. You're right, if there's anything I'll find out. We already have a couple of things against us, but thank you!

Answer 74

Alyssa11

Of course, good luck with it all! :)

Answer 75

Asker

Thank you! :)

Answer 76

lilyanony1

Xper 6

Maybe maybe not. Some people can see the potential in a relationship where others can't. Maybe he doesn't place weight on the superficial but feels he is able to work at things with a person.

Or maybe he is a fantasist and wants to be married for marriage sake. I think you gotta get to know the guy and weight it up against what you want and can tolerate and see fit your future with him.

What qualities make him marriage material for you, etc.

Answer 77

bobalife

Xper 6

Not necessarily. You should get to know him better, find out what happened, and see if he knows what’s his contribution of what went wrong with his past relationships. Some people just have bad luck. Story of my life.

Asker

4 d
He might be lying to me. That makes me think that women don't want to be with him.

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experiences. Hope you have more luck next time. :)

Answer 78

Asker

He might be lying to me. That makes me think that women don't want to be with him.

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experiences. Hope you have more luck next time. :)

Answer 79

BCA6010 | 161 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

No, but his taste in women he felt comfortable committing with sounds a bit off... Kind of reminiscent of women who keep landing themselves with abusive men.

Asker

4 d
"Kind of reminiscent of women who keep landing themselves with abusive men." - That's exactly what I think.

Answer 80

Asker

"Kind of reminiscent of women who keep landing themselves with abusive men." - That's exactly what I think.

Answer 81

jshm2 | 179 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Speak to his family and friends as soon as you can, before making any commitments. Could be he's spinning a story for your sympathy.

But losing/breaking engagements is not a big deal (aside from the money on gifts and trips you lose) as you'd rather cut ties then, than have to go through a messy divorce later.

Answer 82

WindAtMyBack | 61 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Explorer

Sounds like a yellow flag. If it's true that they all cheated on him, then he's not good at picking a partner. It's enough to legitimately wonder about it and look more closely. It would be interesting to hear the other side of the story if you have a way to check out what really happened.

Answer 83

jennifer_bloom | 1K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Cheating is only forgiven at most once and usually not at all - if the engagement broke down three times it is probably because of domestic violence whether physical or emotional but usually both

Asker

5 d
Yes, that's why I think it's weird. It's not something that is usually forgiven. It might be due to violence, even though he told that he had a girlfriend who was emotionally abusive.

Answer 84

Asker

Yes, that's why I think it's weird. It's not something that is usually forgiven. It might be due to violence, even though he told that he had a girlfriend who was emotionally abusive.

Answer 85

blueRRmoon

Xper 5

I just want to start off to say... that an engagement from him wouldn’t even feel special if he’s out in the streets proposing to ever girl that walks by lmao. The verdict: Sussss. 🚩

Asker

5 d
I know right...
Perhaps I shouldn't have high expectations...

Answer 86

Asker

I know right...
Perhaps I shouldn't have high expectations...

Answer 87

Floppy2112

Xper 4

It's possible he's telling the truth, but it is a bit of a red flag. I would say more of a pink flag. Try to find out more.

Asker

4 d
I will for sure.

Answer 88

Asker

I will for sure.

Answer 89

DizzyDesii | 541 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

If he's the one proposing, it can be a red flag because he may propose too soon a lot OR use it as an attempt to mend already broken relationships. Otherwise, if they proposed which i doubt they did, then its not quite a red flag for him

Answer 90

1031ent

Xper 3

Everyone will tell you there is something wrong because most people are naturally cautious. Saying no to everything is a great way to do nothing in life.

Asker

5 d
I get you. But don't you find it strange?
1031ent

5 d
Just a question but how many times have you been cheated on? Or it the being engaged three times part that bother you?
yofuknutz

5 d
If I knew what I knew about marriage now and about having children I would probably still be single if I knew then what I know now
Show All Show Less
1031ent

5 d
Tell me what is it that you are really afraid of? What is your fear?
Asker

5 d
I've never been cheated on. Yes, my problem is with the engaged three times. I'm afraid he's an abuser or a psycho. It sounds like women run away from him.
Asker

5 d
@yofuknutz I'm sorry to hear about your experience. Many people regret getting married and having children.
1031ent

5 d
I would just tell him your concerns. Ask him if there are any ex's you can talk to. If he doesn't have a good recommendation from any ex's (not ex-fiances) then maybe be concerned. If the ex's give good reviews then you can feel a little better. If he gets mad when you ask that is a big red flag. b
Asker

5 d
That's a great idea! Thank you! :)

He doesn't get mad when we talk about this subject, but he also doesn't give me more details. I wonder if he's avoiding the topic.
1031ent

5 d
Got to give him some benefit of the doubt. Have you tried to dig deep,?

I can tell you this, when I was really in love, even a bad report wouldn't have stopped me. Sometimes even when you know the chance is one in a million you still take it, and you love the ride, even if it ends in destruction.

Memories are what we collect.
Asker

5 d
I have but he doesn't say much. Maybe I should try again.
That's true. But I can't afford ending this is destruction. If it's to end, perhaps it should end before it's too late.
1031ent

5 d
There you go.

Answer 91

Asker

I get you. But don't you find it strange?

Answer 92

1031ent

Just a question but how many times have you been cheated on? Or it the being engaged three times part that bother you?

Answer 93

yofuknutz

If I knew what I knew about marriage now and about having children I would probably still be single if I knew then what I know now

Answer 94

1031ent

Tell me what is it that you are really afraid of? What is your fear?

Answer 95

Asker

I've never been cheated on. Yes, my problem is with the engaged three times. I'm afraid he's an abuser or a psycho. It sounds like women run away from him.

Answer 96

Asker

@yofuknutz I'm sorry to hear about your experience. Many people regret getting married and having children.

Answer 97

1031ent

I would just tell him your concerns. Ask him if there are any ex's you can talk to. If he doesn't have a good recommendation from any ex's (not ex-fiances) then maybe be concerned. If the ex's give good reviews then you can feel a little better. If he gets mad when you ask that is a big red flag. b

Answer 98

Asker

That's a great idea! Thank you! :)

He doesn't get mad when we talk about this subject, but he also doesn't give me more details. I wonder if he's avoiding the topic.

Answer 99

1031ent

Got to give him some benefit of the doubt. Have you tried to dig deep,?

I can tell you this, when I was really in love, even a bad report wouldn't have stopped me. Sometimes even when you know the chance is one in a million you still take it, and you love the ride, even if it ends in destruction.

Memories are what we collect.

Answer 100

Asker

I have but he doesn't say much. Maybe I should try again.
That's true. But I can't afford ending this is destruction. If it's to end, perhaps it should end before it's too late.

Answer 101

1031ent

There you go.

Answer 102

iseekpinetrees | 266 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

little bit. Could be he asked too early in relationship. Too eager to get married though is a red flag to me. Might be some immaturity there as a good relationship needs mature throughly thought out decisions being made

Answer 103

sheikalana | 430 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

That's really odd but I would still be intrigued and probably give him and chance as a friend to see if he's a bad or a good person and what could've possibly motivated those girls to cheat on him and leave him after being engaged to him.

sheikalana

5 d
@RandomLoser I don't know them. There's always two sides of the story.
RandomLoser

4 d
If not Sharia then just female circumcision to keep them chaste and virtuous. Tho I still prefer Sharia.
sheikalana

4 d
@RandomLoser what does that have to do with the post?
Show All Show Less
RandomLoser

4 d
It solves adultery.

Answer 104

sheikalana

@RandomLoser I don't know them. There's always two sides of the story.

Answer 105

RandomLoser

If not Sharia then just female circumcision to keep them chaste and virtuous. Tho I still prefer Sharia.

Answer 106

sheikalana

@RandomLoser what does that have to do with the post?

Answer 107

RandomLoser

It solves adultery.

Answer 108

padreflint

Xper 6

I wouldn't say a red flag but it is something. How long was he seeing these women before they were engaged? How long were they engaged before the breakup?

Asker

4 d
I need to ask him that.

Answer 109

Asker

I need to ask him that.

Answer 110

Anonymous

Kinda yeah. I mean everyone deserves a chance, but if it feels odd it’s something to keep an eye on. Is he needy?

Asker

4 d
Yes, he seems needy.

Answer 111

Asker

Yes, he seems needy.

Answer 112

PinkMichae | 190 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

It sounds like he's to quick pulling the trigger. He asking women too fast to marry him. He didn't give enough time to get to know them before he asked.

Answer 113

justaspacerockthing

Xper 3

it sounds like his last partner was in the wrong, and he was just trying to make it work. i don't know the whole story, so don't take my word for it, but from what you said that's what it sounds like

Answer 114

Avicenna | 4.3K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Yes, but inquire further about it. It's unusual and it's legit to want to know more,

Asker

4 d
I want to know more for sure. I can't be with someone who sounds suspicious.
Avicenna

4 d
Ask for an explanation
Asker

4 d
I will for sure. But he might lie.

Answer 115

Asker

I want to know more for sure. I can't be with someone who sounds suspicious.

Answer 116

Avicenna

Ask for an explanation

Answer 117

Asker

I will for sure. But he might lie.

Answer 118

Shuttlebus78

Xper 3

Not necessarily. People are young and more carefree with their decisions at some point. But if it is later in life when one is fully aware of their actions it may indicate that person needs to break from relationships until they are sure of what they want.

Answer 119

AbsolutePeppar

Xper 2

its better to find the real truth, whether he cheated on them or they cheated on him

Asker

5 d
That's what I want to do and I've been trying to.
AbsolutePeppar

5 d
you can contact his 3 ex wives
Asker

5 d
Yes, I could try that.
Show All Show Less
AbsolutePeppar

5 d
i will be a good start
Asker

5 d
I hope so. :)
AbsolutePeppar

5 d
i know you like him, but my advice is don't get so much attach to him until you find the truth. because if you got too attached to him, you will not be able to forget him even though you know the truth. always prepare your life for the worst
Asker

5 d
You're right. I didn't use to be that suspicious but now I've been thinking a lot about this. I'll prepare myself for the worst. Thank you for the advice. 😊
AbsolutePeppar

5 d
no worries, helping people is what i like most in my life
Asker

5 d
Me too. 😊
AbsolutePeppar

5 d
great

Answer 120

Asker

That's what I want to do and I've been trying to.

Answer 121

AbsolutePeppar

you can contact his 3 ex wives

Answer 122

Asker

Yes, I could try that.

Answer 123

AbsolutePeppar

i will be a good start

Answer 124

Asker

I hope so. :)

Answer 125

AbsolutePeppar

i know you like him, but my advice is don't get so much attach to him until you find the truth. because if you got too attached to him, you will not be able to forget him even though you know the truth. always prepare your life for the worst

Answer 126

Asker

You're right. I didn't use to be that suspicious but now I've been thinking a lot about this. I'll prepare myself for the worst. Thank you for the advice. 😊

Answer 127

AbsolutePeppar

no worries, helping people is what i like most in my life

Answer 128

Asker

Me too. 😊

Answer 129

AbsolutePeppar

great

Answer 130

Newhead

Xper 6

Use your own intuition when it comes on to these things. Even though being engaged thrice seems a bit much.

Answer 131

FakeNIK | 53 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 5

Obviously not a red flag.. but he must be doing something wrong

Asker

5 d
Do you think it would be a bad idea to ask him what went wrong?
FakeNIK

5 d
He probably doesn't know.
Alright as a girl POV don't you think there must be something wrong?
Asker

5 d
I guess you're right. I do think there must be something wrong but at the same time I can't help thinking that 3 women can have the same issue.
Show All Show Less
Asker

5 d
*can't have
FakeNIK

5 d
I'm only assuming that... give him a chance & leave the rest
FakeNIK

5 d
Everyone deserves a chance. Don't they? Maybe he turns out to be a real prince charming 😂
Asker

5 d
That's what I've been doing. But I'm still wondering if there's something wrong with him.
Asker

5 d
True. Hahaha that would be amazing!
FakeNIK

5 d
Now you're acting like me.. lol No need to overanalyze people. Just leave the things as they are
FakeNIK

5 d
& if you notice something wrong. Just tell him
FakeNIK

5 d
Remember "communication is the key for a healthy relationship".
Asker

5 d
I agree, I'm just trying to be careful. I don't want to hurt myself if all the signs are already there.
Asker

5 d
I'll keep everything you said in mind. Thank you. :)
FakeNIK

5 d
Yes miss be careful. Happy to help👍
Asker

5 d
I'll be. Yes, you really helped me. :)
FakeNIK

5 d
😉...

Answer 132

Asker

Do you think it would be a bad idea to ask him what went wrong?

Answer 133

FakeNIK

He probably doesn't know.
Alright as a girl POV don't you think there must be something wrong?

Answer 134

Asker

I guess you're right. I do think there must be something wrong but at the same time I can't help thinking that 3 women can have the same issue.

Answer 135

Asker

*can't have

Answer 136

FakeNIK

I'm only assuming that... give him a chance & leave the rest

Answer 137

FakeNIK

Everyone deserves a chance. Don't they? Maybe he turns out to be a real prince charming 😂

Answer 138

Asker

That's what I've been doing. But I'm still wondering if there's something wrong with him.

Answer 139

Asker

True. Hahaha that would be amazing!

Answer 140

FakeNIK

Now you're acting like me.. lol No need to overanalyze people. Just leave the things as they are

Answer 141

FakeNIK

& if you notice something wrong. Just tell him

Answer 142

FakeNIK

Remember "communication is the key for a healthy relationship".

Answer 143

Asker

I agree, I'm just trying to be careful. I don't want to hurt myself if all the signs are already there.

Answer 144

Asker

I'll keep everything you said in mind. Thank you. :)

Answer 145

FakeNIK

Yes miss be careful. Happy to help👍

Answer 146

Asker

I'll be. Yes, you really helped me. :)

Answer 147

FakeNIK

😉...

Answer 148

Uptowngirl88

Xper 5

Hate to say this but a lot of men use these stories to test you and get sympathy out of you. When reality they are the reason for these issues

Asker

3 d
That's what I thought when he told me that. I feel that he's lying.

Answer 149

Asker

That's what I thought when he told me that. I feel that he's lying.

Answer 150

Anonymous

I agree with you. To be fair it might be legit but it sounds unlikely. If he was smart he wouldn't volunteer that information to women

Asker

4 d
I get you but it's an important information.
Opinion Owner

4 d
You're right

Answer 151

Asker

I get you but it's an important information.

Answer 152

Opinion Owner

You're right

Answer 153

legalboxers | 698 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

someone I know was married 2x. She was onto #3 (tied sticking her venom in me)

Asker

4 d
Do you think she has a problem?
legalboxers

4 d
well 1st guy cheated on her, 2nd not too sure. she's very.. shall I say.. demanding with a case of bipolar / borderline personality. So Im believing so
Asker

3 d
Oh, I see. That's complicated.

Answer 154

Asker

Do you think she has a problem?

Answer 155

legalboxers

well 1st guy cheated on her, 2nd not too sure. she's very.. shall I say.. demanding with a case of bipolar / borderline personality. So Im believing so

Answer 156

Asker

Oh, I see. That's complicated.

Answer 157

nella965

Xper 7

yes. don't be surprised if he proposes to you then cancels it later.

Answer 158

Madladd

Xper 4

Ask and ask and talk to him, never ask strangers about something infront og you not them.

Answer 159

cth96190 | 597 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Yes, big red flag.
Sounds that she is a ring collector.

Answer 160

ohshee | 463 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

No not at all ,, i think my boobs sag. Sound like red flag more than engaged 3 TIMES does

Answer 161

Dsg1193

Explorer

Maybe he just has really bad luck in love. Or there’s something he’s not bringing up

Answer 162

Doflamingo1 | 124 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 5

no not a red flag but, it does say something about him

Answer 163

Don-__-Don

Xper 7

Depends on what's the history behind those 3 engagements.

Answer 164

Mr_longLegz

Xper 2

Yes. There may be exceptions or their relationships my have ended in ways out of their control or mutually, but thats a tall order in my book.

Answer 165

GoldenTulip

Xper 4

Yes it does... then it seems like you get engaged too easy...

Answer 166

Anonymous

Sounds like what happened to the other 3 women he proposed to

Answer 167

loveslongnails | 1.1K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Get their names and find out if it's true, and yes, you should be concerned.

Answer 168

Virginmartha

Xper 2

Be concerned if he'd been officially declared dead three times. Because then it's social security and insurance fraud.

Asker

5 d
"Be concerned if he'd been officially declared dead three times" - Is that even possible?
Virginmartha

5 d
For legal purposes imma say no
Asker

5 d
Yes, it doesn't sound possible to me either. I don't see how he could do that to me.

Answer 169

Asker

"Be concerned if he'd been officially declared dead three times" - Is that even possible?

Answer 170

Virginmartha

For legal purposes imma say no

Answer 171

Asker

Yes, it doesn't sound possible to me either. I don't see how he could do that to me.

Answer 172

fxllenone

Xper 3

There could be more to his story, but cheating is extremely common these days. So, he could simply be a nice man looking for the right woman.

Answer 173

yucel_eden | 123 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Yes.

he's either lying or something wrong with he’s character

Answer 174

clampfan101 | 1.4K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

It’s very possible he’s just having some terrible luck so far.

Answer 175

Synikal

Xper 5

Yes.. at some point the same women like him too and you can see the outcome.

Answer 176

JPrez | 356 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Didn’t they make a movie about this with Julia Roberts?

missy52

4 d
They did😂😂😂😂
JPrez

4 d
I wonder if she could loan him the car she drove off in or even the horse?

Answer 177

missy52

They did😂😂😂😂

Answer 178

JPrez

I wonder if she could loan him the car she drove off in or even the horse?

Answer 179

msc545 | 476 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Sounds like he is impulsive and has impaired judgment.

Answer 180

dreamstar72 | 116 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

And maybe it was the opposite

Asker

5 d
I didn't think about that, you might be right.

Answer 181

Asker

I didn't think about that, you might be right.

Answer 182

JMAN6182

Xper 1

Yeah, a little bit. He might of picked some bad girls or proposed too quickly

Does being engaged 3 times sound like a red flag?

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