Does being engaged 3 times sound like a red flag?

Question

There's this guy I've been talking to. He told me he was engaged 3 times and that he was cheated on 3 times by the women he was engaged to.

I like him, but I find this a little bit odd. Should I be concerned?

Updates:

1 y

*sounds

Answer 1

Citizenkirk | 154 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Concerned? Should I be concerned that I as responding too an anonymous person about a relationship senario I know nothing about, other than that one it involves you, Mr or Mrs. anonymous, some guy that got cheated on and was hurt in a relationship previously, and apparently doesn't want to get hurt again, and the person that hurt him.
I don't even know who it is you are concerned about, be it him, his unfaithful ex, you, a concerned 4th. party, or what. The only red flags I see hear, is the possibility of you taking relationship advice from strangers with so little information too go on.
Fortunately for you, I have an example of an engagement senario involving the mother of a good friend of mine who was engaged to her second husband for 10 years. Apparently her first marriage was such a debacle, that she had no intention of experiencing a third. They have been happily married for over two decades now, with no indication of any marital problems other than whatever minor disagreements that every married couple has at one point or another, that have no worse consequences than great makeup sex.
Engagements are a trial run for married life, and a long engagement gives a couple time too get too know each other and experience married life before tying the knot.
As far as any trust issues you may, or may not have with this guy based on his disclosure of this information, I see the fact that he chose too share this personal information with you as an indication that he trusts you, and showing the same trust to him might be a point in your favor.

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3 People

Answer 2

Skankhunt | 82 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

Yes, it is a red flag. There is something wrong with him, either emotionally (insecurity, fear, anxiety, bad experience etc) or he has a bad intuition and therefore picking the wrong women to marry with.

If he picked the right woman, this would never happened (being cheated on). It's not bad he was engaged 3 time with the wrong women, it just means he should be cautious the next time when it come to picking the right women.

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2 People

Evergreen79

1 y
Sometimes you can pick the "right" person and still get cheated on. Sometimes you just don't know if a person is going to cheat.
Skankhunt

1 y
@Evergreen79 That's the risk you have to take if you want tp experience love. There is no such thing as 100% guarantee.

People who cheat even if they love you, are insecure. They think they don't deserve their partner or feel like they are worthless.
Asker

1 y
I think it might be an emotional problem.
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Skankhunt

1 y
Probably

Answer 3

Evergreen79

Sometimes you can pick the "right" person and still get cheated on. Sometimes you just don't know if a person is going to cheat.

Answer 4

Skankhunt

@Evergreen79 That's the risk you have to take if you want tp experience love. There is no such thing as 100% guarantee.

People who cheat even if they love you, are insecure. They think they don't deserve their partner or feel like they are worthless.

Answer 5

Asker

I think it might be an emotional problem.

Answer 6

Skankhunt

Probably

Answer 7

Xoxocutekitty | 168 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

That's a red flag. I get maybe one or even two (like, maybe he was really young and he got "engaged at 17" but then she moved away and then cheating long distance, and then he tried again the second time and then like she cheated 'for no reason'.

Three times suggests that he either:
1) isn't handling relationship problems/ doesn't communicate very well which leads to a desire to look for more aka cheating or
2) has a bad metric for picking partners, where is he finding all of these women that eventually think they can do better than him
3) is possibly a flight risk himself as getting cheated on hurts deep, but can also lead to future self sabotaging behaviors which drive partners away

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2 People

Asker

1 y
All of this makes sense to me. I feel that it's more like the first thing you said, because he doesn't talk much.

Answer 8

Asker

All of this makes sense to me. I feel that it's more like the first thing you said, because he doesn't talk much.

Answer 9

CurlyGirl42 | 101 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Did he tell you how long he was with these women? One concern would be that he proposes way too early, before he really know the person by heart.
Another is if he can be very jealous. Not letting his girl do a lot of things, like hang out with her friends, and lead for the girl to leave him by cheating.
So just find out a bit more about it and judge yourself if you think he is a good person by getting to know him better.

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4 People

Answer 10

Bananaman177

Guru

That's what engagements are for.

That's the time to take a relationship for a serious test drive and it's the last opportunity to change your mind. The only red flag I see is that this guy has very poor taste in women. You have to be one hell of a fucking worthless slut to not even be able to keep your legs closed when you're engaged to somebody else. Some guys have a huge blindspot when it comes to women, and they just can't see all the warning signs that are so obvious to everyone else. But women are more promiscuous and self-absorbed now than they ever have been before, and a lot of them are behaving quite openly and even brazenly in ways that they wouldn't have even behaved in secret during generations past.

Personally, I think the biggest red flag here is that you're extremely judgmental and you like to leap to conclusions based on prejudice and emotion that has nothing to do with the facts of the case. That's way more troubling. People who are always LOOKING for something to be wrong usually find it sooner or later, and most often, it wasn't there until they started looking for it and just wouldn't let it go. You can very easily manifest a problem from nothing by pretending it's there when it's not. You "meme" them into reality.

I wouldn't marry you, I find that quality of yours extremely unattractive. You should take what you can get, you're not as great a catch as you think you are.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I didn't ask you to marry me so we are even Lol
Bananaman177

1 y
We were never -not- even, silly.

You asked for the opinions of strangers, and I obliged you. Perhaps you should have been more specific and asked for validation instead?
MintChocolateChip

1 y
She asked you to answer her questions with your opinion on if it's a red flag to you, not to start assuming things about her you have no business trying to assume. I don't disagree that maybe she's being a little hypocritical, but notice the maybe. I don't know. I made an assumption off of incomplete info, so my assumption shouldn't be taken super harshly or personally.
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Bananaman177

1 y
@MintChocolateChip I didn't make an assumption, I made a deduction based entirely on her own words.

Worlds of difference.
nella965

1 y
Someone who has been engaged 3 times then canceled them all shows impaired judgement. Don't be surprised if he proposes to you too and then cancels it again. Just like a criminal record shows a lot about an individual. Dating history also shows a lot about you too.
Asker

1 y
I didn't ask you to answer. You have plenty of questions to answer, I didn't force you Lol
Asker

1 y
@MintChocolateChip Like I said before I didn't ask him to answer this question. He could ignore it.
Why do you think I'm being hypocritical?
Asker

1 y
@nella965 Thank you for your answer.

Answer 11

Asker

I didn't ask you to marry me so we are even Lol

Answer 12

Bananaman177

We were never -not- even, silly.

You asked for the opinions of strangers, and I obliged you. Perhaps you should have been more specific and asked for validation instead?
Does being engaged 3 times sound like a red flag?

Answer 13

MintChocolateChip

She asked you to answer her questions with your opinion on if it's a red flag to you, not to start assuming things about her you have no business trying to assume. I don't disagree that maybe she's being a little hypocritical, but notice the maybe. I don't know. I made an assumption off of incomplete info, so my assumption shouldn't be taken super harshly or personally.

Answer 14

Bananaman177

@MintChocolateChip I didn't make an assumption, I made a deduction based entirely on her own words.

Worlds of difference.

Answer 15

nella965

Someone who has been engaged 3 times then canceled them all shows impaired judgement. Don't be surprised if he proposes to you too and then cancels it again. Just like a criminal record shows a lot about an individual. Dating history also shows a lot about you too.

Answer 16

Asker

I didn't ask you to answer. You have plenty of questions to answer, I didn't force you Lol

Answer 17

Asker

@MintChocolateChip Like I said before I didn't ask him to answer this question. He could ignore it.
Why do you think I'm being hypocritical?

Answer 18

Asker

@nella965 Thank you for your answer.

Answer 19

Finchie40 | 737 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Yea that would raise some red flags and I would really reconsider being with someone like that , He claims his 3 fiancé’s all cheated on him? So the question is why did they really cheat on him? You could be number 4 lol I honestly don’t get girls that fall for guys that were married like 3 or 4 times , like what the fuck is the girl thinking getting involved with a guy that has a track record like that? 1 time understandable but 3 or 4 times , if I was that guy I would never marry again , people are fucking nuts

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3 People

Asker

1 y
I don't know why they cheated on him, I'm trying to find that out. I wouldn't be number 4, that's for sure.

He didn't get married.
Finchie40

1 y
Honestly you shouldn’t even give him a chance to be honest , Getting engaged to someone pretty much means you dated that person for a long time to the point you feel you can spend the rest of
Your life with them , unless this dude is just desperate and he put an engagement ring on their finger after 2 weeks he dated them lol but a normal person wouldn’t propose to someone unless they feel they really have a connection , and great chemistry and again that takes awhile , so for him to get
To that point with these 3 girls just goes to show his intentions of getting married are what probably freaked these girls out to cheat on him , He probably thinks by putting a ring on a girls finger that he now owns her and she has to do what he says , he is probably a controlling asshole , for 3 fiancé’s to all cheat on him that goes to show it’s not the girls it’s him
Asker

1 y
You're so right! Thank you for not being an idiot like some dudes who answered this question.
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Finchie40

1 y
I try to give honest opinions as much as possible So thank you for the compliment
Asker

1 y
You're welcome. I was also being honest and you didn't judge me.
Finchie40

1 y
No reason to judge someone , people that judge others have their own issues to deal with because bottom line , what you do is your choice , we all aren’t perfect people , so to say whether you are right or wrong it doesn’t matter , all I can do is give advice on what I would do in that sorta situation , but what you choose to do is on you , You can say fuck you Finchie40 I am giving this guy a chance , all I can say is good luck hope it works out for ya lol
Asker

1 y
"No reason to judge someone , people that judge others have their own issues to deal with because bottom line , what you do is your choice..." - Thank you for understanding that. I'm not going to say f*** you Finchie40 Lol I really appreciate your advice. :) Thank you for wishing me good luck, I'll see what happens next.
Finchie40

1 y
Whatever you choose to do , I hope it goes the right way for you 😘
Asker

1 y
Thank you! 😘

Answer 20

Asker

I don't know why they cheated on him, I'm trying to find that out. I wouldn't be number 4, that's for sure.

He didn't get married.

Answer 21

Finchie40

Honestly you shouldn’t even give him a chance to be honest , Getting engaged to someone pretty much means you dated that person for a long time to the point you feel you can spend the rest of
Your life with them , unless this dude is just desperate and he put an engagement ring on their finger after 2 weeks he dated them lol but a normal person wouldn’t propose to someone unless they feel they really have a connection , and great chemistry and again that takes awhile , so for him to get
To that point with these 3 girls just goes to show his intentions of getting married are what probably freaked these girls out to cheat on him , He probably thinks by putting a ring on a girls finger that he now owns her and she has to do what he says , he is probably a controlling asshole , for 3 fiancé’s to all cheat on him that goes to show it’s not the girls it’s him

Answer 22

Asker

You're so right! Thank you for not being an idiot like some dudes who answered this question.

Answer 23

Finchie40

I try to give honest opinions as much as possible So thank you for the compliment

Answer 24

Asker

You're welcome. I was also being honest and you didn't judge me.

Answer 25

Finchie40

No reason to judge someone , people that judge others have their own issues to deal with because bottom line , what you do is your choice , we all aren’t perfect people , so to say whether you are right or wrong it doesn’t matter , all I can do is give advice on what I would do in that sorta situation , but what you choose to do is on you , You can say fuck you Finchie40 I am giving this guy a chance , all I can say is good luck hope it works out for ya lol

Answer 26

Asker

"No reason to judge someone , people that judge others have their own issues to deal with because bottom line , what you do is your choice..." - Thank you for understanding that. I'm not going to say f*** you Finchie40 Lol I really appreciate your advice. :) Thank you for wishing me good luck, I'll see what happens next.

Answer 27

Finchie40

Whatever you choose to do , I hope it goes the right way for you 😘

Answer 28

Asker

Thank you! 😘

Answer 29

RemoErdosain

Yoda

You make it sound like the poor guy who has a bad streak of women has no right to get a decent one. This is if you're, in fact, a decent one, which we obviously don't know from your post. This is like saying if someone gets mugged it's a red flag. Also, the lot of people saying he should've picked better probably just never found out when they got cheated on. Pretty much everyone gets cheated on at some point in their lives. It's just one of those things that happen, especially in today's society. It's not as if he was married. He got engaged, which is basically a promise that one day you'll marry, then found out they were breaking that promise with their unloyalty, and end of story. It doesn't seem like a very big deal to me

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Answer 30

Anonymous

3 times is something. He's either had really bad luck, but probably just rushed things and got engaged too soon. But as I've learned myself (not the same situation), some people can be terrific actors/actresses. So I'm sure you can't shine the spotlight solely on him. I wouldn't say "red flag", but if I was proceeding in a relationship like this, I would definitely keep that in mind that the person might tend to rush things and proceed with caution. I'd also find out all about it and what happened exactly.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I get you, but if they cheated on him there's probably something wrong with him. I mean, if he was only cheated on once, I would understand but 3 times? It's definitely suspicious.
I'll be cautious for sure.

Answer 31

Asker

I get you, but if they cheated on him there's probably something wrong with him. I mean, if he was only cheated on once, I would understand but 3 times? It's definitely suspicious.
I'll be cautious for sure.

Answer 32

Kiss_Me | 123 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

I think so.
What does it say about a guy that has said, "I want to spend the rest of my life with YOU." to three different women?
I have seen that weak guys NEED an extra level of security in their relationships, so they ask their girlfriend's for marriage. The girl almost always cheats on them. Sound familiar?

Dodge this bullet and find a new guy.

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2 People

Asker

1 y
I see what you mean.

Answer 33

Asker

I see what you mean.

Answer 34

alicat2358

Xper 5

Either he has a bad choice in women or he's the problem. Seems like a red flag to me. Maybe he's toxic and controlling after getting engaged and his actions lead to them cheating. He could also be making it up and he was in the wrong in all of those relationships
He could be been the one cheating for all you know. 3 engagements is a lot and I dont think it's a coincidence

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2 People

Asker

1 y
I think those are all valid reasons.

Answer 35

Asker

I think those are all valid reasons.

Answer 36

PeterAyre

Xper 5

How long until he got engaged in each case. Does he have a thing for 'bad girls' or girls that are more likely to cheat. How did he find out in each case. Was there a reason why he was cheated on rather than just disposed of. Is he lying about the reason the engagements failed. Those are the questions I would be thinking.

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2 People

Asker

1 y
I need to ask him all of these questions. You gave me a great idea, thank you!

Answer 37

Asker

I need to ask him all of these questions. You gave me a great idea, thank you!

Answer 38

EssenceOfLight | 135 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Explorer

No. People who tend to cheat exchange their partners quite often, that's why probability to start a relationship with a cheater is much higher than with someone who doesn't cheat. His only mistake that he has being engaged with wrong girls and he didn't learn anything.
Most guys started and continued a relationship with a girl who has been still in one that slowly decayed. However majority isn't foolish enough to believe they are someone special for the girl and she won't cheat on them like she did with the guy beforehand. Being engaged with this type of girl is completely pointless and the best way is to dump her before she starts to cheat.

Mistake of guy you're dating is likely his ignorance and lack of situational awareness.

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2 People

Answer 39

MannMitAntworten | 1.4K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Haha... he has me beat. Only two of my ex-fiancés cheated. One just turned out to be hell is all. To their credit they married the men they cheated with which strangely the next guy a woman sees (or starts ti see in the cheats’ case), they always end up marrying. I am kind of like the marriage prep boyfriend/date. It has been a strange theme since reaching adulthood.

Anyway, is it a red flag? Only if you make it out to be. He might be the beat guy for you ever but hold his ex-fiancés over him or even give them more thought than they deserve and you will never know because you decides to go with making the entirety of his worth, those failed relationships. It is a form of sabotage...

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Answer 40

jgokgotit

Yoda

I do not think you should be concerned. Women cheat more than men and just get caught less often. I actually took a survey over a year for my college and the surrounding towns and figured this out. Being engaged does not mean the fiancee will stay faithful. If nothing else is amiss, I would not be concerned.

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2 People

Asker

1 y
I just wonder if he's abusive or violent. Yes of course that doesn't mean they will be faithful. But if they all cheated there's probably something wrong with him.
jgokgotit

1 y
That could be true. There could be something wrong with him. Then again, there is something wrong with everyone. Has he been mean or abusive to you? This might sting to hear, but the simple truth is that the quality of women have gone downhill so the odds are good that all 3 cheated without any good reason. Maybe they had unrealistic expectations. My advice is to not worry about his past. Watch how he treats you and people in general (waiters/waitresses, strangers, etc.) and make your own judgement based off that.
Asker

1 y
No, he was never abusive to me. I still believe they had a good reason to cheat and to break off the engagement.
I guess I'll follow your advice when I'm with him. We can't be together now because of covid.
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jgokgotit

1 y
That sounds good. How he treats people he has no special ties to will show you his real character. Also watch how he treats animals.
Asker

1 y
I agree with you. He says he wants to have a cat, so I'm not sure if that's a good sign.
jgokgotit

1 y
That seems like a good sign to me. Animals are good judges of character. I'd be more concerned if he was opposed to having pets (unless there is a good reason i. e. you already have some and he does not want too many). If a man cannot love an animal, what does that say for how he will love humans? There are many ways to watch someone's character without them knowing you are doing so, but they all take time. Just observe him and do not move too fast in the relationship. Time tells all tales.
Asker

1 y
You're absolutely right. I'll be more cautious and take one step at the time. Thank you for answering and for helping me. 😊
jgokgotit

1 y
No problem. I like helping people figure out practical solutions.
Asker

1 y
Me too. But sometimes we can help ourselves, we need the help from the others.

Answer 41

Asker

I just wonder if he's abusive or violent. Yes of course that doesn't mean they will be faithful. But if they all cheated there's probably something wrong with him.

Answer 42

jgokgotit

That could be true. There could be something wrong with him. Then again, there is something wrong with everyone. Has he been mean or abusive to you? This might sting to hear, but the simple truth is that the quality of women have gone downhill so the odds are good that all 3 cheated without any good reason. Maybe they had unrealistic expectations. My advice is to not worry about his past. Watch how he treats you and people in general (waiters/waitresses, strangers, etc.) and make your own judgement based off that.

Answer 43

Asker

No, he was never abusive to me. I still believe they had a good reason to cheat and to break off the engagement.
I guess I'll follow your advice when I'm with him. We can't be together now because of covid.

Answer 44

jgokgotit

That sounds good. How he treats people he has no special ties to will show you his real character. Also watch how he treats animals.

Answer 45

Asker

I agree with you. He says he wants to have a cat, so I'm not sure if that's a good sign.

Answer 46

jgokgotit

That seems like a good sign to me. Animals are good judges of character. I'd be more concerned if he was opposed to having pets (unless there is a good reason i. e. you already have some and he does not want too many). If a man cannot love an animal, what does that say for how he will love humans? There are many ways to watch someone's character without them knowing you are doing so, but they all take time. Just observe him and do not move too fast in the relationship. Time tells all tales.

Answer 47

Asker

You're absolutely right. I'll be more cautious and take one step at the time. Thank you for answering and for helping me. 😊

Answer 48

jgokgotit

No problem. I like helping people figure out practical solutions.

Answer 49

Asker

Me too. But sometimes we can help ourselves, we need the help from the others.

Answer 50

Thatasianlove16

Xper 6

actually, no since those relationships didn’t end because of him specifically. Honestly I would take it as if he is willing to commit and be old serious about you if you guys get to that point. Just sounds like he had picked very terrible woman to get on the knee for. If anything I feel more bad for him than anything

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1 Person

Thatasianlove16

1 y
Plus if kraken says anything I usually pick the opposite the guy is spiteful lol
Asker

1 y
"Plus if kraken says anything I usually pick the opposite the guy is spiteful lol" - Lol I like your strategy
Thatasianlove16

1 y
Hahaha if you seen any other of his comments on posts you know what I mean lmao
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Asker

1 y
Oh I've seen them, so I know what you're talking about Lol

Answer 51

Thatasianlove16

Plus if kraken says anything I usually pick the opposite the guy is spiteful lol

Answer 52

Asker

"Plus if kraken says anything I usually pick the opposite the guy is spiteful lol" - Lol I like your strategy

Answer 53

Thatasianlove16

Hahaha if you seen any other of his comments on posts you know what I mean lmao

Answer 54

Asker

Oh I've seen them, so I know what you're talking about Lol

Answer 55

Suzzz334

Xper 3

I would be more concerned by the fact that each time he was engaged the female cheated on him. Is he really really bad at picking a female out to date or is there something he isn’t telling you. He may want to be married but so scared he self sabotaging by dating non-marriage type women.

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2 People

Asker

1 y
"He may want to be married but so scared he self sabotaging by dating non-marriage type women." - That makes sense to me.

Answer 56

Asker

"He may want to be married but so scared he self sabotaging by dating non-marriage type women." - That makes sense to me.

Answer 57

watrewks

Xper 6

This is definitely odd, but I think you need to explore the situation a little bit more. He could just be lying to make you sympathetic towards him, in which case you shouldn’t be with a guy like that.

Those situations are probably complicated and he’s just saying that. I wouldn’t say it’s an overt red flag but more of a yellow warning sign.

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2 People

Asker

1 y
"He could just be lying to make you sympathetic towards him, in which case you shouldn’t be with a guy like that." - That's also what I thought when we told me that. I thought that maybe he's playing the victim.
watrewks

1 y
Yeah it’s a possibility. But it sounds like you don’t know enough to tell. Maybe as he reveals his personality more then you’ll be able to
Asker

1 y
That's true, I need to find out more about him.

Answer 58

Asker

"He could just be lying to make you sympathetic towards him, in which case you shouldn’t be with a guy like that." - That's also what I thought when we told me that. I thought that maybe he's playing the victim.

Answer 59

watrewks

Yeah it’s a possibility. But it sounds like you don’t know enough to tell. Maybe as he reveals his personality more then you’ll be able to

Answer 60

Asker

That's true, I need to find out more about him.

Answer 61

Adam1978 | 576 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Assuming it's true the red flag would be he not learning from his mistakes. He shouldn't get married in today's society. Other then that no, them cheating on him is them being bad. He clearly can't find and spot a good one, he must be using dating apps.

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3 People

Answer 62

Anonymous

That is a red flag... if he was cheated on 3 times with 3 different women sounds like either he has really bad taste in women, and you should figure out that pattern if you do get into a relationship with him. Or that he is narcissistic and doesn't reciprocate the other persons needs.

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1 Person

Opinion Owner

1 y
Also asking him what happened with the engagements and what he thought went wrong would be good to bring up. Its better to be upfront and not waste any time trying to figure it out.
Asker

1 y
He doesn't sound narcissistic , but you might be right. I need to talk to him.
Asker

1 y
You're right, I have a lot of questions to ask him.

Answer 63

Opinion Owner

Also asking him what happened with the engagements and what he thought went wrong would be good to bring up. Its better to be upfront and not waste any time trying to figure it out.

Answer 64

Asker

He doesn't sound narcissistic , but you might be right. I need to talk to him.

Answer 65

Asker

You're right, I have a lot of questions to ask him.

Answer 66

Alyssa11

Yoda

Not really. I’m a perfectly decent human being with good intentions and ability to commit yet my ex fiancé cheated on me twice and we broke up twice. Sometimes people can be blinded by love. The fact that he’s opening up about it says a lot too!

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2 People

Asker

1 y
I'm sorry to hear that. But I think your case is different because you committed, were cheated on and broke up twice with the same person. While he was with 3 different women, that's why I find it weird.
Alyssa11

1 y
I understand but it could just be his judgement. I don’t think it means he has a bad character. My point is don’t let that ruin something that has the potential to be amazing. For me it doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker.
Asker

1 y
I get your point, but it might be a sign that he is not a good person. I'm getting suspicious. I hope I'm wrong about him, but it's hard to not think that something is strange.
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Alyssa11

1 y
Ah, I see!
Are there any other red flags that compliment this one? And I also think we're so lucky to have the gift of intuition... what does your gut tell you?
Asker

1 y
I agree with you, that's what I like about being a woman. No, this is the only red flag that I spotted.
My gut is telling me that he's too good to be true, that there must be something wrong with him.
Alyssa11

1 y
I see... okay how about you try and take things slow and just be overall aware of this feeling. I’m sure within time things will come to surface if they need to - they always do. But having said that, don’t let this alone ruin something that has the potential to be really good. Good luck!
Asker

1 y
That's a good way of seeing things. You're right, if there's anything I'll find out. We already have a couple of things against us, but thank you!
Alyssa11

1 y
Of course, good luck with it all! :)
Asker

1 y
Thank you! :)

Answer 67

Asker

I'm sorry to hear that. But I think your case is different because you committed, were cheated on and broke up twice with the same person. While he was with 3 different women, that's why I find it weird.

Answer 68

Alyssa11

I understand but it could just be his judgement. I don’t think it means he has a bad character. My point is don’t let that ruin something that has the potential to be amazing. For me it doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker.

Answer 69

Asker

I get your point, but it might be a sign that he is not a good person. I'm getting suspicious. I hope I'm wrong about him, but it's hard to not think that something is strange.

Answer 70

Alyssa11

Ah, I see!
Are there any other red flags that compliment this one? And I also think we're so lucky to have the gift of intuition... what does your gut tell you?

Answer 71

Asker

I agree with you, that's what I like about being a woman. No, this is the only red flag that I spotted.
My gut is telling me that he's too good to be true, that there must be something wrong with him.

Answer 72

Alyssa11

I see... okay how about you try and take things slow and just be overall aware of this feeling. I’m sure within time things will come to surface if they need to - they always do. But having said that, don’t let this alone ruin something that has the potential to be really good. Good luck!

Answer 73

Asker

That's a good way of seeing things. You're right, if there's anything I'll find out. We already have a couple of things against us, but thank you!

Answer 74

Alyssa11

Of course, good luck with it all! :)

Answer 75

Asker

Thank you! :)

Answer 76

lilyanony1

Yoda

Maybe maybe not. Some people can see the potential in a relationship where others can't. Maybe he doesn't place weight on the superficial but feels he is able to work at things with a person.

Or maybe he is a fantasist and wants to be married for marriage sake. I think you gotta get to know the guy and weight it up against what you want and can tolerate and see fit your future with him.

What qualities make him marriage material for you, etc.

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Answer 77

bobalife | 64 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Explorer

Not necessarily. You should get to know him better, find out what happened, and see if he knows what’s his contribution of what went wrong with his past relationships. Some people just have bad luck. Story of my life.

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2 People

Asker

1 y
He might be lying to me. That makes me think that women don't want to be with him.

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experiences. Hope you have more luck next time. :)

Answer 78

Asker

He might be lying to me. That makes me think that women don't want to be with him.

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experiences. Hope you have more luck next time. :)

Answer 79

BCA6010 | 216 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

No, but his taste in women he felt comfortable committing with sounds a bit off... Kind of reminiscent of women who keep landing themselves with abusive men.

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3 People

Asker

1 y
"Kind of reminiscent of women who keep landing themselves with abusive men." - That's exactly what I think.

Answer 80

Asker

"Kind of reminiscent of women who keep landing themselves with abusive men." - That's exactly what I think.

Answer 81

jshm2 | 436 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Speak to his family and friends as soon as you can, before making any commitments. Could be he's spinning a story for your sympathy.

But losing/breaking engagements is not a big deal (aside from the money on gifts and trips you lose) as you'd rather cut ties then, than have to go through a messy divorce later.

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1 Person

Does being engaged 3 times sound like a red flag?

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