How to make my friend stop talking dirty to me when we aren’t even dating?

Question

So I have a friend and he is super nice and funny... but I wanted to call him because we haven’t spoken to each other for a couple of months. And the call was normal for a hour then after the hour he started to talk about kinks... then he started to asks what I like and started to be really dirty like he would say “how would you feel if I fucked you right now” and he started to command me to say “im a dirty little slut” it got super crazy and I was super hot and my anxiety was going super high and he thought it was just me being turned on. I tried to change the conversation so many times but he would go back to it. I also told him I’m waiting for marriage but he didn’t really care... because he said “I’m going to have to change that” And let me tell you guys right now I’ve NEVER had a friend do that to me I was so UNCOMFORTABLE.

Answer 1

btbc92 | 2.2K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

By not having him as a friend. PERIOD. He is no friend, and anybody who talks so disrespectful sexually to you is no one who you should date or marry. He is not a FRIEND. Let that imbecile go! He has 0 respect for you. And watch him. Guys like him may end up raping you if not now in the future when you least expect it. Stay away from that guy and men like that. They will never respect you.

Heyitsalexis

10 d
Omg thank you so much !
btbc92

10 d
You're very welcome. And please be safe. If he harasses you more, tell your family and other friends all of this your saying on here, have proof, and if he doesn't stop, report him. Don't tolerate that. They will victimize you like he's trying to do now.
Heyitsalexis

10 d
Very true, but it’s hard to have evidence if we are on a call..
Show All Show Less
btbc92

10 d
What you wrote here is evidence enough. Or maybe have him on speaker very low for everyone to hear it.
btbc92

10 d
This guy has the spirit of Lust and you need to rebuke it.
btbc92

10 d
You have power and authority in the name of Jesus to rebuke and cast out devils! That is a lust spirit and you need to stop feeding it energy. Your a virgin and pure so it wants to feed on your energy. And wants to rob you of your innocence and create soul ties so even if your no longer physically with him, part of your soul is still in him and he's in you and they masturbate or create a spiritual link were in a way he can still have sex spiritually with you. And it may come in the form of what people call 'wet dreams', and it's not just 'dreams'. It's scary stuff. Stay away from him. Put your social media on private, don't post your pics, block and delete his number and infromation.
Heyitsalexis

10 d
Oh wow I didn’t know that 😳😳 that is scary
btbc92

10 d
Very scary. Also to add, what he is doing is sexual harassment. So you are free to tell him if he doesn't stop, you're reporting him and won't blink an eye. Any guy did something like that to me, I'm hanging up right there, drop his number and block him. Try to contact them again, let him know we are not friends and the next time he tries to call and contact me, the police will be at his door with a restraining order.
btbc92

10 d
Sex is that serious and nobody talks about it. You won't learn it in sex ed. Most churches won't get that deep either. You have to be aggressive with people like that and understand your authority. They do it to promote fear in you and gain power. Don't give it to him.
Heyitsalexis

10 d
Yeah he did seem very commanding with orders and saying how I can only respond to his questions with yes or no answers. He was talking about maybe calling me again tomorrow so if it happens I will do everything you said!
Heyitsalexis

10 d
He also kept saying how I was dumb, useless, and weak so that was putting me down... but he thinks I like it he thinks I’m into humiliation kink.
btbc92

10 d
No. It's not a kink. Kinks are perversions, to begin with. Any form of humiliation is abuse. And what your dealing with is abuse. And you need to tell your friends and family what the hell this guy is doing and putting you through. Get some legal help and counseling with this so they can better give you the resources on what to do with guys like him. He says that because you lack healthy self-esteem and don't love yourself. So he preys on your insecurities and emotions knowing you deserve better. And he does it more because you let him. See he wouldn't get that far with me, and men like him hate me to begin with because they know they can't use me. I used to feel the same way, I know. Just know they're the ones who are all the things he said about you. Because you're the very opposite of that. Don't accept it. And don't let him curse you like that. You're wonderful. And you deserve to be with people who appreciate you. Not bring you down and treat you lower than dirt.
btbc92

10 d
He's a manwhore. And why should you lower your standards to that?
Heyitsalexis

10 d
You are literally right on about the insecurities I do have them and he knows that too. I just never seen him like that before.. you know what his brother did somewhat the same thing to me. When I was 17 his older brother who was like 20 asked me for nudes. But I never knew the guy I worked with was like that too, he seemed too nice to me. I’m so gullible😑
Heyitsalexis

10 d
If I just don’t expect a lot for me... I just see all these people in happy relationship and it makes me sad. So sometimes I just force to low my standards so I can have something too. But anytime I do that it never works out or something bad happens.
btbc92

10 d
Lowering your standards NEVER works. You know why? Because you're a quality person. You're not low. And you're not meant to below. Quantity is low. Quality is high. And you're a quality person. Therefore you're worth more than you think. Your met to be with high-quality men. And guess what? High-quality men are far and few, and very rare to find.

"I just see all these people in happy relationship and it makes me sad. " That's fake. I'll tell you right now don't even envy what they have because most relationships aren't relationships, to begin with, and they don't last. We wouldn't be having a 70% divorce rate and many singles why record high #s of sex partners and many exes and ex maybes if that was true. Don't even let that fool you. It's a mask to cover up real problems. Relationships take work and you have to build on them. It doesn't come easy. Anything that comes easy like that, unless it was meant to be and God has written for it to happen, is not a relationship.
btbc92

10 d
Listen. When I made the decision to be celibate I knew what struggles I was going face. I face many backlash and many judgments because people wanted to force things on me. Including men. I had men use my emotions against me, people abuse me, used me, robbed from me, had my youth stolen, people trying to force me into relationships, taking my friendship, love, and kindness for granted. People lying to me and lying on me about things that were private and even to the point of baring false witness against me to others, mocking me for my choices, shaming me for being different, not respecting me, period. You get called a religious prude. They think Because you believe in God that I deserve to be miserable because most men don't believe in God, so it makes 'sense' why they treat me differently and poorly. How I would make a bad mom, bad girlfriend, bad wife, and how nobody would want me. And I deserve to be alone. I suffered domestic violence and abuse at home. Bullying, threats to be harmed, abused, some even made such sexual remarks and I went through what you went through with that guy even on here by random men treated to rape me on here. In public too. So sweety, don't think your the only one who wasn't sexually harrassed against your will.
btbc92

10 d
I also experienced assault. Not rape, but assault in the past as some old man touched and grabbed my breast. I have been through it. It is not acceptable what you're going through. And you don't deserve the treatment.
Heyitsalexis

10 d
Ooh ok. Ig I will just wait on god to send me the right man for me. Because I’m tired of lowering my standards for these guys that don’t even try or just want one thing... you have been very helpful to me! I’m now understanding more of what I need and not need to do. I’m so thankful that you gave up your time to give me advice because I was truly struggling and confused. But I’m soo sorry that stuff happened to you. You didn’t deserve that at all. You seem so kind and caring ! You literally helped me so much tonight and I’m glad god sent you to me so you could help me.

Answer 2

Heyitsalexis

Omg thank you so much !

Answer 3

btbc92

You're very welcome. And please be safe. If he harasses you more, tell your family and other friends all of this your saying on here, have proof, and if he doesn't stop, report him. Don't tolerate that. They will victimize you like he's trying to do now.

Answer 4

Heyitsalexis

Very true, but it’s hard to have evidence if we are on a call..

Answer 5

btbc92

What you wrote here is evidence enough. Or maybe have him on speaker very low for everyone to hear it.

Answer 6

btbc92

This guy has the spirit of Lust and you need to rebuke it.

Answer 7

btbc92

You have power and authority in the name of Jesus to rebuke and cast out devils! That is a lust spirit and you need to stop feeding it energy. Your a virgin and pure so it wants to feed on your energy. And wants to rob you of your innocence and create soul ties so even if your no longer physically with him, part of your soul is still in him and he's in you and they masturbate or create a spiritual link were in a way he can still have sex spiritually with you. And it may come in the form of what people call 'wet dreams', and it's not just 'dreams'. It's scary stuff. Stay away from him. Put your social media on private, don't post your pics, block and delete his number and infromation.

Answer 8

Heyitsalexis

Oh wow I didn’t know that 😳😳 that is scary

Answer 9

btbc92

Very scary. Also to add, what he is doing is sexual harassment. So you are free to tell him if he doesn't stop, you're reporting him and won't blink an eye. Any guy did something like that to me, I'm hanging up right there, drop his number and block him. Try to contact them again, let him know we are not friends and the next time he tries to call and contact me, the police will be at his door with a restraining order.

Answer 10

btbc92

Sex is that serious and nobody talks about it. You won't learn it in sex ed. Most churches won't get that deep either. You have to be aggressive with people like that and understand your authority. They do it to promote fear in you and gain power. Don't give it to him.

Answer 11

Heyitsalexis

Yeah he did seem very commanding with orders and saying how I can only respond to his questions with yes or no answers. He was talking about maybe calling me again tomorrow so if it happens I will do everything you said!

Answer 12

Heyitsalexis

He also kept saying how I was dumb, useless, and weak so that was putting me down... but he thinks I like it he thinks I’m into humiliation kink.

Answer 13

btbc92

No. It's not a kink. Kinks are perversions, to begin with. Any form of humiliation is abuse. And what your dealing with is abuse. And you need to tell your friends and family what the hell this guy is doing and putting you through. Get some legal help and counseling with this so they can better give you the resources on what to do with guys like him. He says that because you lack healthy self-esteem and don't love yourself. So he preys on your insecurities and emotions knowing you deserve better. And he does it more because you let him. See he wouldn't get that far with me, and men like him hate me to begin with because they know they can't use me. I used to feel the same way, I know. Just know they're the ones who are all the things he said about you. Because you're the very opposite of that. Don't accept it. And don't let him curse you like that. You're wonderful. And you deserve to be with people who appreciate you. Not bring you down and treat you lower than dirt.

Answer 14

btbc92

He's a manwhore. And why should you lower your standards to that?

Answer 15

Heyitsalexis

You are literally right on about the insecurities I do have them and he knows that too. I just never seen him like that before.. you know what his brother did somewhat the same thing to me. When I was 17 his older brother who was like 20 asked me for nudes. But I never knew the guy I worked with was like that too, he seemed too nice to me. I’m so gullible😑

Answer 16

Heyitsalexis

If I just don’t expect a lot for me... I just see all these people in happy relationship and it makes me sad. So sometimes I just force to low my standards so I can have something too. But anytime I do that it never works out or something bad happens.

Answer 17

btbc92

Lowering your standards NEVER works. You know why? Because you're a quality person. You're not low. And you're not meant to below. Quantity is low. Quality is high. And you're a quality person. Therefore you're worth more than you think. Your met to be with high-quality men. And guess what? High-quality men are far and few, and very rare to find.

"I just see all these people in happy relationship and it makes me sad. " That's fake. I'll tell you right now don't even envy what they have because most relationships aren't relationships, to begin with, and they don't last. We wouldn't be having a 70% divorce rate and many singles why record high #s of sex partners and many exes and ex maybes if that was true. Don't even let that fool you. It's a mask to cover up real problems. Relationships take work and you have to build on them. It doesn't come easy. Anything that comes easy like that, unless it was meant to be and God has written for it to happen, is not a relationship.

Answer 18

btbc92

Listen. When I made the decision to be celibate I knew what struggles I was going face. I face many backlash and many judgments because people wanted to force things on me. Including men. I had men use my emotions against me, people abuse me, used me, robbed from me, had my youth stolen, people trying to force me into relationships, taking my friendship, love, and kindness for granted. People lying to me and lying on me about things that were private and even to the point of baring false witness against me to others, mocking me for my choices, shaming me for being different, not respecting me, period. You get called a religious prude. They think Because you believe in God that I deserve to be miserable because most men don't believe in God, so it makes 'sense' why they treat me differently and poorly. How I would make a bad mom, bad girlfriend, bad wife, and how nobody would want me. And I deserve to be alone. I suffered domestic violence and abuse at home. Bullying, threats to be harmed, abused, some even made such sexual remarks and I went through what you went through with that guy even on here by random men treated to rape me on here. In public too. So sweety, don't think your the only one who wasn't sexually harrassed against your will.

Answer 19

btbc92

I also experienced assault. Not rape, but assault in the past as some old man touched and grabbed my breast. I have been through it. It is not acceptable what you're going through. And you don't deserve the treatment.

Answer 20

Heyitsalexis

Ooh ok. Ig I will just wait on god to send me the right man for me. Because I’m tired of lowering my standards for these guys that don’t even try or just want one thing... you have been very helpful to me! I’m now understanding more of what I need and not need to do. I’m so thankful that you gave up your time to give me advice because I was truly struggling and confused. But I’m soo sorry that stuff happened to you. You didn’t deserve that at all. You seem so kind and caring ! You literally helped me so much tonight and I’m glad god sent you to me so you could help me.

Answer 21

Hangry22 | 588 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

You stand your ground and say it crystal clear "I don't feel comfortable you talking to me like that. I want you to stop it"
If he still continues, cut the call and ignore him

Answer 22

jshm2 | 182 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

He's probably into, you and thinks getting you aroused is the way to it.

Just say the magic words, "I like you only as a friend" and friendzone him. If he spits back, then block him and stay away from him. He's an imposter friend, pretending to be nice and funny.

Heyitsalexis

10 d
I did... he asked me out but I said “no I’m trying to work on myself and I’m not ready for a relationship” but that didn’t stop it. He just kept telling me how hot I was and how bad he wanted to fuck me.

Answer 23

Heyitsalexis

I did... he asked me out but I said “no I’m trying to work on myself and I’m not ready for a relationship” but that didn’t stop it. He just kept telling me how hot I was and how bad he wanted to fuck me.

Answer 24

Tyrael | 131 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Explorer

If you're not interested in him that way, just tell him that that conversation made you feel uncomfortable and you'd appreciate him not discussing that again in future.

Heyitsalexis

10 d
I would, but anytime I tried to change the subject he would go right back to it... he told me too that I will be hearing from him again...
Tyrael

10 d
Changing the subject isn't enough. You need to be more direct and tell him this conversation goes no further and you won't discuss it.
Heyitsalexis

10 d
Ok I will try that! hopefully it will work
Show All Show Less
Tyrael

10 d
I'm sure it'll work. And if he refuses to acknowledge your request, threaten to end your conversations with him and then be sure to do it if he crosses that line again.

Answer 25

Heyitsalexis

I would, but anytime I tried to change the subject he would go right back to it... he told me too that I will be hearing from him again...

Answer 26

Tyrael

Changing the subject isn't enough. You need to be more direct and tell him this conversation goes no further and you won't discuss it.

Answer 27

Heyitsalexis

Ok I will try that! hopefully it will work

Answer 28

Tyrael

I'm sure it'll work. And if he refuses to acknowledge your request, threaten to end your conversations with him and then be sure to do it if he crosses that line again.

Answer 29

Anonymous

he's just using you to get off to. he's yanking his crank while he says all that pervy shit to you and doesn't care if you want to hear it or not. Ultimate disrespect and you should tell him you don't appreciate it and want no part of it. IF he's really your friend he will respect what you want.

Answer 30

EaterPeter

Xper 3

Have you dated before this same friend? This might be a boundary issue most people face. I wish we were more trained to set and accept boundaries.

Heyitsalexis

10 d
I have never dated him

Answer 31

Heyitsalexis

I have never dated him

Answer 32

chHaynes | 75 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 5

You can tell him to ease up a little bit but there's a good chance he won't and if you tell him that if you hadn't he's up or stop. Seeing him that will probably work

Answer 33

nxxxxxxxxxxxa

Xper 4

You need to get rid of this person out of your life for good.

Answer 34

Anonymous

Be honest with him and let him know this is not the type of conversation you want to be having because it is making you very uncomfortable especially considering you aren’t dating

Answer 35

Avicenna | 4.3K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Set boundaries for him that he needs to respect

Answer 36

Yourman89

Xper 5

doesn't sound like you want him to stop..

Heyitsalexis

10 d
IM for sure I wanted him to stop 🛑 I was trying my best to END that conversation
Yourman89

10 d
Well, if that is what you really want you just have to shoot him straight. Stop or we can't talk.

Answer 37

Heyitsalexis

IM for sure I wanted him to stop 🛑 I was trying my best to END that conversation

Answer 38

Yourman89

Well, if that is what you really want you just have to shoot him straight. Stop or we can't talk.

How to make my friend stop talking dirty to me when we aren’t even dating?

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