3 years ago I went to America to study. I was very young, I was only 19 years old. Extremely shy and awkward. At first everything was going great in my school life but I was also struggling to get on my feet. I couldn't afford rent and couldn't find a job so I was pretty much relying on other students kindness and sleeping on sofa'sOne day my lectures overhears but I'm struggling for money. She told me to get my bags and I was coming to stay with her and her boyfriend and I can earn my keep by working in her boyfriends cafe. I really appreciate everything she did for me, she was like a mother to me back then and I betrayed her trust in the worst way. Her boyfriend was never happy about me moving in at first. They had a lot of issues in their relationship and would constantly fight. One day. After a while me and my lecturers boyfriend actually became good friends through are love of food. Soon we'd be hanging all the time and he'd show all the best places to eat. I don't think my lecturer liked this as one night she came into the cafe as we were closing up. I hid in the back whilst they'd fight and that night when we were driving back home , he told me it was over between them and then he kissed me. I'm not proud of what happened afterwards once we got home. My lecturer never found out what happened but me and her ex slept together for around 2 months. I thought I loved him and he loved me but he ended up getting back with my lecturer again and I had to pretend the whole thing never happened. It sent me crazy to the point I wanted to kill them both. I felt like such a fool and my mental health spiralled out of control and I started to drink. One night I came home drunk and he was sitting on the sofa watching TV. Pretty soon after he noticed I was drunk , thought It was a opportunity to take advantage of me and he raped me. All I wanted to do after that was go home to the UK and hug my mum so tight.
I felt broken and weak. I felt every negative emotion. I never told anyone what happened over in America till recently. I eventually tried to move on and I met the most amazing man whilst doing it. We've been together for two years and I love him very much. I've not seen him since Christmas because of lock down and it's making me increasingly depressed and I started hitting the bottle again. I knew this time something needed to be done so I contacted a charity and they've been getting help
Sorry for the fact gags decided to remove all the spaces I put in this