Seems like my worst relationship purposely steered us to a relationship just to randomly disappear. I guess he met another girl. That was a long time ago but it’s not uncommon for me to meet guys after him who just don’t respect my time or who are temporary
Many guys are temp, they aren’t ready for a real relationship and want sex or to level up
Do they seem like they are attracted to you?
Every guy I dated was different. I only slept with one guy in my life and it was the abovementioned ex boyfriend and that was years ago. I haven’t had any physical relationships since then. He seemed not only to be attracted to me but also in love with me. He destroyed my faith in men and for a long time I just stayed single because of not wanting to get hurt. And I don't know. I’m attractive but everybody has a type so I can’t speak for how others perceive me. I just try to do my best to be the things I look for in a partner. I don’t date a lot though but when I do it’s usually a waste of time. Like I go long intervals of time without even texting any guys and then if I do meet someone it seems like they express interest in moving things forward but don’t stay consistent
By constant don’t they ask you out and plan dates? Or do you mean they don’t text everyday? Ya guys are different but it’s tough to judge levels of interest
Okay so I’m going to give a listSo my first boyfriend approached me and he was the perfect boyfriend for months. Everybody said we were “relationship goals” but we broke up for a reason that I don’t want to go into. We started to b on and off (sort of) and I decided to end things with him for good because I suspected he was dating other women. He literally cried and pleaded for a second chance and promised to change just to disappear later on. I found out much later that he had started dating a girl whom he had been friends with the entire time we were together. He just never told me or communicated. He lied till the very end. Then I met another boy who lived kind of far away. I had some insecurities about guys not replying to me because of my ex so I picked a fight with him after he didn’t respond to my texts for a while. I felt like I was wrong so I apologized and we made up and continued a friendship but he ended up disappearing. I think the distance was a lot to look past which I understand. But rather than just saying that he never communicated that or anything. He just acted like he liked me and he even remembered my birthday and was the first person to tell me happy birthday at 12 on the dot even though me and him hadn’t spoken in months. I felt like he did pay attention to details when it came to me and we had spent hours talking on the phone and we liked a lot of the same stuff.
After that I met another guy who had a baby. He seemed to always give me compliments and came to my job to see me a few times or wanted to hang out and do things he liked. He was attracted to me enough to always show me to his friends whenever I was around him he would FaceTime them to show me off. He also had admitted to asking around about me and I have a clean reputation due to not having that many relationships so I’m sure he didn’t hear any rumors about me. He just stopped replying a while ago. I seen him at my job a while ago with his family and didn’t make any attempt to talk to him and he called out to me and said hi. But it was a little weird because he literally ghosted and was acting like that never happened. I was polite and said hi but lost interest. His lack of communication just made me really feel kind of like he wasted my time
Right, thanks for the details. 1st guy sounds like a normal relationship that ends because someone messes up. Other two guys seem like they were talking to multiple girls and choose someone else over you
When talking to guys are you flirting and giving them ideas and info so they can ask you out and plan dates?
The second guy seemed like he liked me and like his reasons would be understandable but actually I started to completely doubt it because there was a point in time where he visited my city. He has NO friends in my city and only person he knows here is me. It’s a small city not a tourist attraction so he had no reason to visit. But he still came and drove around posted videos of himself on Snapchat driving around in my city but not once did he mention being there. He had asked to visit me multiple times but because of covid I had been declining but before this happened I had actually said yes he could visit and he said he had to work. Then I see him on Snapchat driving around in my little city where he has no friends and I felt like he just didn’t like me or something. As for the third guy he admitted to talking to other women which I felt was respectable for him to admit to it rather than lying. But if he decided to talk to another girl he could have said so. Since we weren’t sleeping together I felt like he could have been upfront rather than just disappearing. It wasn’t that deep but it’s the principle you know?
Frankly that’s creepy for the 2nd guy to do that and post on socials. Sounds almost like a stalker, be careful giving out personal details online Ya 3rd guy was playing the field. Guess he figured since you hadn’t been on an actual date it’s better to just cut contact; maybe the girl even asked him to
But for the next guy are you willing to be more aggressive or suggest a date to meet each other and move things along? Sure most girls want the guys to lead and create a relationship but it’s still 2 people participating and it encourages the guy to ask if he knows you will say yes
Are you suggesting that I am not aggressive enough? Just asking so I can figure out what the problem is. Because with my ex I was too aggressive. He did pursue me but he didn’t deserve me. We broke up because he showed me how he was willing to lie and I decided to overlook it for the sake of wanting it to work. So I’m not surprised that he would lie later but I lost that will to be so available and participant in any relationship that I felt wasn’t easy. Like it shouldn’t be this hard. I know I’m young and everybody is looking for the “one”But it’s like people love to play games and act like they care more than they do. I am easy to read and open which is uncommon in my generation. I’m just over it. I know dating isn’t easy but it’s not even fun for me anymore. I feel better alone which is kind of sad because I have a lot of love to give and nobody worth giving it to in my opinion. If I had someone who was willing to treat me the way I treat others I would definitely be more interested in moving things forward but I don’t think people think or act like me. I want somebody like myself
Yes, but that’s only based on the info you gave me. Sounds like both guys 2 and 3 were talking to other girls and those girls were more aggressive in wanting to date (or hook up). So if you want a guy who will date you or become your boyfriend yes you need to ask and make it happen.. it’s 2021, if I meet an attractive girl like you who suggests we meet for dinner then I’ll be down to check it out
Your probably right. I can be more aggressive next time but I have to meet someone who actually clicks with me. I don’t feel chemistry that often. Even with the 3rd guy, he was really friendly and likeable but unlike the 1st and 2nd guy I didn’t actually feel a lot of chemistry for him. He was just somebody that everybody would like but didn’t necessarily feel like he was “the one” so I lost some aggression after the second guy and ESPECIALLY after he 1st boyfriend. I’ll have to wait to meet someone who I actually feel a lot of chemistry with. It’s something that I think is important more than trying to meet someone because of loneliness or something like that. I guess I just need some time. Thank you for all your advice
Obv you gotta feel chemistry and want the guy sexually. Otherwise dating is pointless. Yes, be more direct as us guys suck at hints. You are welcome. You have a cute body, so get you some!
I was attracted to the third guy. Honestly he was probably the most handsome guy I have ever seen lol. And he was really polite and likeable and a good person so I kept talking to him even though I didn’t feel like there was this great spark. I thought it might come with time and I was considering just taking care of my physical needs but decided to wait and see how things went. Thankfully I did as I don’t want to get hurt. So I’m happy that at least I did t invest too much but still it can be disappointing
Ya anytime we talk to someone there is disappointment. Also that’s why I’m encouraging you to date. The chemistry really kicks in after the 2nd date. Before then we can’t really connect with someone else
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