How do you make a relationship work if living together failed or wasn’t working?

I still desire to find a way to be with this man. We lived together in two different places (both small and cramped studios) for 3 and a half years. Both times we ended up clashing with the way we organize, the way we live, each other’s habits and such. My turning point was when I realized he felt like I am nit picky over 90% of things and would get angry quickly when I would become emotional. My own emotions are my own problem, although I’m quite in touch with them and express them often. I just wanted to feel appreciated, like he cared what I was wanting/thinking. But he’d react angrily most times I’d try to express myself. He just always somehow found a way to throw it back on me, how his problems were because I’m being over dramtic or emotional. When in fact he just never took accountability for anything. He drank a lot and increasingly got worse toward the end. It was driving me nuts becusse he didn’t prioritize anything, especially not me. He smoked weed all day long too, making it hard for me to get through to him. I just so badly wanted effort from his side, it was so bad that for the past 3-4 months I had been begging him to just take me out, go anywhere but this small ass place. He’d just complain he was too tired and too physically in pain after to work to go anywhere. He wouldn’t even get groceries with me.

but my heart misses the days we didn’t live together. Wed meet to go hike, talk, dates. It was dreamy and mostly at the beginning. It feels so long ago and it sucks because I’ve held on so long since we still had our moments where we’d have deep talks, resonate with another on something, smoke weed together too, enjoy time with our cats that we have, but it became so dull in the end.
do you think us not living together could help rekindle things? Will the distance potentially remind him the motivation he had to be with me originally? ( what I won’t do is wait, I just want to know more about this hope my heart feels)
How do you make a relationship work if living together failed or wasn’t working?
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