Suffering from clinical depression and nursing a broken heart?

i'm a reserved, introverted person. don't talk very much and that's why its quite tiring being around people. most times I prefer being on my own to recharge. and I wouldn't mind being alone if it wasn't for the fact that I'm still nursing a broken heart from a long time ago. it has gotten significantly better but I'm not completely healed and being alone just makes me feel well lonely. I've tried getting a new job and started out at college but it adds on to my sadness bcos I'm slower at making friends than most people. also I've found I've lost the interest to get to know others.

my ex and I are civil to each other. in fact she recently had feelings for me but I didn't want to get in the way of her relationship again. what really hurts is seeing her with her boyfriend feeling and doing things that I never did with her bcos of my shyness and introversion. I know he makes her happy and it kills me bcos I still love her and I wish it could be me instead but I have a lot of issues like vulnerability and inability to open up. and I know she wouldn't be as happy with me. yet I can't let go.
Suffering from clinical depression and nursing a broken heart?
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