Does he like me? Does he care for me at all?

right you guys, this is quite a complicated tale, but please bare with me, I'll keep it brief ;-).

I am now 21 and the guy is 32, nearly 33. When we met I was 19 and he was 30. We met, as you do, in some club and got chatting. By complete chance we bumped into each other again a week later (as I later found out the club is pretty much his regular haunt and he's there most saturdays). Anyway we began texting, emailing, chatting on MSN, in the beginning (for the first 8 months) it was him making the effort to text, compliment me etc. I'm quite a shy person by nature and feel uneasy giving or receving compliments, so during this time I laughed them off etc..

After knowing him about 8 months, he invited me to drinks and we kissed. We kissed twice after that. Texting and talking for hours on MSN in between. Admittedly during all that time..prob cos of my fear of getting close I constantly slagged him and didn't take any of it seriously. However, he did stress one of the nights when we were kissing (albeit him drunk), that we were just friends and it wasnt serious.

After our last meeting, he didn't text for two days so I got angry and made some sarcastic comment about regretting our night out, it was meant to be more jokey than anything..but he didn't text back. and heard nothing from him for 6 weeks. I tried opening up the lines of communication again but it was never the same, always me suggesting meeting up, and while he seemed very open to the idea there was always an excuse at the last moment. I got frustrated after weeks of this and asked would we just leave it and forget our 'friendship', he didn't answer, and when I persisted he replied but completely dodged the question.

It took me an awful long time to get over it, and months later I was out and saw him by chance again, I was drunk and just got really mad at him and called him every hurtful name under the sun. He told my friend he was very pissed off with me, sent him a million apology emails after saying I really liked him and lashed out because was hurt but with little avail.

3 months ago again bumped into him, a lot of time passed. We ended up getting on very well and kissed that night. We've texted on and off since, usually me initiating it. Recently he asked me to meet him at a club 1 nite and when I said I couldn't go and suggested another night he didn't reply. He's also rang me out of the blue twice, and drunk texted asking me where I was. But when I text him during the day he's often detached and will only reply once or twice. Its always me making the effort but he does seem to try to impress me when he does text, telling about his new car/holidays etc...

My question is..i am sooo confused?! What's going on here? Is he really insecure and doesn't know I like him? Does he like me? Can anyone make head nor tail of it? Could age be his issue? Anyone?!

Even one line answers would be great :-), this is just messing with my mind! Thank you x
To: Anonymous User, its not like I'm a teenager, I'm nearly 22 and am finished university..its not like a school girl/adult man situation! Thanks for advice thoughy
(last update, I promise! :-P) Just to give you a clearer picture: The first 8 to 10 months before any of the trouble happened he treated me extremely well, spending 1/2 hrs some nights chatting with me over the phone/MSN, always looked after (to be contd)
me, told me in earnest I was beautiful, intelligent, witty, sweet and everything any man could want etc etc, never ever put pressure on me for sex, in fact refused to and put me to bed on 1 occasion when I was drunk. Def not a Hugh Hef type that way..
Yeah definitely, if you get the emotional bond first the physical side will be a million times better!


Most Helpful Girl

  • alright!

    HERE YOU GO...


    By the fact that he often goes to the same club on Saturdays shows that he's a womanizer trying to pick up chicks there and see how far it can go.

    your constant attempts at getting aswers out of his shows that he just doesn't care, or else he would of acknowledged you and let you know what was going on.

    This guy is not into a relationship with a great girl, it seems he's into sleeping with any girl and as many as he can take. If he really cared about you at all he would spend some real time with you instead of chatting up so much. face it reality is at both of your ages, it should not be so hard to see each other in person and really get to know each other.

    Also the fact that he made out with you while drunk shows it just doesn't matter what he's doing at that club or who with for that matter.

    Please just walk away, you don't need this kind of drama! There are better guys out there!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • yes I read the whole story, and I think he's not after you because ur young. he does care about you suzie but it went downhill when you first freaked out bout him not texting u. guys tend to zone out alot, so cut him some slack for that. but I agree with anonymous on the 2 year thing. if it was going to really work I think it shouldve worked by now. he kinda reminds me of myself for the not being pushy for sex or anything, but that's just me. please don't hate me for my honesty.

    i hope dis helps

    • Thanks for reading and replying to that :-), your viewpoint was a great help. How do you mean it kinda reminds you of yourself for the not being too pushy for sex part?

    • Show All
    • No prob, ill let you know as the days go how it turns out :-) and you let me know too :-)

  • Player Alert!

    And a rather creepy older (30+) player hitting on teenagers! Eewww.

    He wants to be around you until you push back? It's a sign of his focus being elsewhere or simply immaturity with the rigors of a relationship.

    And don't text when buzzed, it doesn't usually turn out so well.

    Good luck.


What Girls Said 2

  • Eh It does sound like there's something there, but wow, you need to be mellow. If he doesn't text you back, then leave it at that don't text or email until he does 1st, why waste your time, texts, and energy?

    You freaking out is giving the impression that you were acting immature.. Even though you're not, (I used to get the same thing) just learn to mellow out, and calm down. If anything maybe that will bring him back..if you want him anyway..

    Until then, forget about him, move on

  • to be honest I would get over him if I were you. it been like 2 years since you met him, and to be honest the age difference bothers me. if you weren't so young when you guys had met it wouldnt, but you know there's something wrong with a guy when he's almost thirty and going after teenagers. so either this guys hero is hugh hefner or he's a creeper. sry :(

    • Okay but still, what worries me is he drunk tested you which sounds kinds like a booty call. like he doesn't care about you your just a convienent friend with benefits

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    • That is very true. my advice would be to see if you two even have a chance of being a couple. if it works out great. if not there are other fish in the sea :)

    • Thanks, I suppose ill just have to wait and see. Thanks for takin the time to read my problem :-)x

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