OK. so, I have like no confidence in myself anymore. I use to be really confident, but then I got schizophrenia about 2 years ago where I started hearing other people's voices in my head at my apartment, in college, or anywhere else calling me an ugly and fat hoe about 20 times a minute. it was bad. this happened for about a whole year everyday hearing nothing but that in my head over and over and over and over when I was doing anything. I almost killed myself. I thought about and still think about killing myself all of the time. Therefore, my confidence had pretty much been shook, because I thought that those voices were really people calling me ugly. I've had a couple boys who I didn't even know say some really mean things to me on the internet. one guy called me an erret. another one called me quite ugly, that I'm nothing at all and that if I call that beautiful, than I've got some sick fetis*es. I said that there has been about a million people who have said I was cute, so there must be a million people with sick fetis*es. then, he said that there really are guys or dykes that would do it with anything and that he guesses I would fit under that category. I'm extremely sensitive and get my feelings hurt easily. never been a good thing for me, except when I was younger I didn't care at all about what other people thought. I also didn't care when I was a sophomore. another guy said I was an ugly cow that no one finds attractive who he hopes that I end up alone forever. and that I hate guys, because I'm ugly. I've always felt like guys never talked to, approached or dated me, because they didn't think I was pretty and that I'm not good enough for them. I want to get my confidence back. I want to feel good in my own skin again without being insecure. I also don't know what make up to wear or how much make up is too much. I really just want a boyfriend. just someone who loves and cares about me. someone who wants to spend time with me and listens to me. someone who's funny, sweet, smart and amazing. where can I find a guy like that? I want to know how to be able to walk up to a guy and be completely confident, to know exactly what to say, for it just not to be awkward when we talk. I want to know what to say to a guy that will make him find me confident and good enough for them. I kind of want to be someone who is able to get any guy to fall for her just like that. kind of like a player I guess xD lol. that would be nice, because I've had friends who are like that. amazing with guys, but then again they're gorgeous and I still don't know if I'm pretty enough for guys to even give me a chance. omg. I sound so pathetic. maybe Because I am. lolol. anyways, I could use as much help as I can get.