How do I deal with my ex has reporting me for harassment?

I was notified by the police that I have been reported for harassment. My ex claims that I have sent him unwanted emails and text messages from the beginning of October until today. This is hilarious since he was in contact with me until middle of October. Then he suddenly disappeared. Yes, I did try to get in touch but never sent anything threatening, mean or rude. It also wasn't excessive in number.

A few days ago I found out that he has a girlfriend and that that's why he's been ignoring me. He also told the police that I supposedly contacted his girlfriend which is a complete lie. I have told the police. I think they're aware how ridiculous this whole thing is because they don't sound like they take it very seriously, mainly just told me to stop sending him emails.

This guy is in his 30s. He suddenly disappeared instead of telling me that he had a new girlfriend and wanted no contact. I was worried about him, so I sent him messages. I wish I hadn't, but that's hardly harassing someone. He never said "stop sending me messages". When I found out he was seeing someone a week ago I told him he could have told me that that's why he decided to talk. As then I wouldn't have worried about him. His response was going to the police and file a report. And not only that, but he lied about me having contacting his girlfriend (don't even have her contact info) and about the time since when I supposedly harass him. I assume he is doing this to prove something to this new girl. I'm not sure what. What a sad loser.

I'm considering pressing charges against him since he is lying. But then I can't really be bothered. But it does annoy me that he spreads lies about me. It also bothers me that while the police doesn't seem to take him very seriously, they chose to send me this "cease and desist" kind of email.

I am utterly disgusted with this human being. I actually googled this and it seems I'm not the only one who's had something like this happen! So many sad people out there.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Wait... You were notified by police through email?

    Stop emailing him, ignore the email, continue with your life. Change your email if you have to.

    • Yes, is this unusual? I've never had anything to do with the police before. I should add that he lives in a different country, so maybe that's why they chose email. I'm just worried that this whole sh*t will appear on some record and will screw with my life. How can someone just file a report without any real evidence (aside from a few messages that were neither rude nor threatening)? I'm in utter disbelief.

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    • I'd rather not post the email address, but I checked the IP and it is indeed an IP associated with the police. I did find it weird that they'd deal with this sort of thing on a Sunday, but then again who knows. I'm reading an article about harassment warnings in the UK and it seems that it can get quite bad for me. I was considering moving there in the future. It annoys me that nobody ever asked for my side of the story. Everyone can apparently file a report.

    • This is what the police officer said when I asked about a report: "Yes a report has been created by Surrey Police showing you as a suspect for the offence of Harassment. As stated in the first email to yourself at this time this is the lowest level of action that will be taken by Surrey Police. It gives you the opportunity to stop your reported behavior and therefore if you do no further action will be taken against you by Surrey Police."

What Girls Said 1

  • wow that's ridiculous. his new girlfriend prob made him do it.

    • I think you might be right. He was never such an a**hole to me until she turned up. We were in touch daily. I also find it weird that he named a specific date to the police since when I "harass" him, when the truth is that he was in touch with me until 2 weeks after that date. I assume that's the date when he met her and he's trying to "prove" something to her. I'm just so shocked, disappointed and disgusted.

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    • I'm trying to forget about it but am worried this will appear on a criminal record. I'm reading an article that states the police need to real evidence to issue a warning, but it will be kept on file. I'm so disgusted with how this works. So every idiot can go file a harassment report? The police has no way of knowing the story, they never asked me. God I hate this world hahaha.

    • *need no real evidence