Do you believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater?"

What do you think?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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75

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think this is a little harder than Yes or No. For the most part I don't think a cheater is likely to learn from his/her mistake.

    Nearly every girl I talked to that cheated I've noticed patterns in the way they felt about it.

    1 - She'll say she cheated on her boyfriend and she didn't know why she did it but she feels terrible about it (and then do it again with somebody else down the road anyway).

    2 - She'll say she did it and completely without remorse, the question why usually doesn't enter into it(but usually comes down to some kind of sick thrill), and these types usually do it again.

    3 - She'll say "I was drunk" and cling to this as a cheap excuse, actually thinking that it somehow it absolves something. Then later they actually seem suprised that this wasn't good enough.

    4 - My ultimate pet peeve: She'll say "But that didn't count because..." End this sentence with just about any lame excuse you can think of. One example "That didn't count because my boyfriend was out of town at the time" Yeah I actually heard that once.

    5 - She'll say she cheated and that she felt so dirty, used, cheap or whatever (sometimes also lose her man in the process) from doing this and that she learned her lesson, came to her senses and not cheat again.

    Now here's the rub... I've never actually met anybody from group number 5 personally. I've heard about them, I've heard from people who knew a guy who knew a girl, yadda yadda... Sadly I think that falls under urban legend at that point, but I gotta tell ya, it does give me hope. Anyway the most common I've seen among women are groups 1 and 3 tied at first and 4 at a distant second.

    Men behave similarly but not quite the same. Nearly every guy I talked to that cheated I've noticed patterns in the way they felt about it.

    1 - Say he did it, start bragging and then realize shortly after he f***ed up and wonder what the heck he's gonna do now. (These types usually get stupid and do it again at some point)

    2 - Say he did it completely cool about it thinking he's a total pimp or whatever. High-fiving, and acting like an ass thinking he's such an alpha male.

    3 - Say he did it when he was drunk and generally get depressed and freaked out about it. He'll probably end up telling her and he'll probably use it as an excuse like an idiot, but sometimes I see these types of guys try to fix things.

    4 - Say he did it as some strange form of revenge. Generally (I think) to hold it over her head. This is usually followed by a break-up though (suprise suprise)

    5 - She'll say he cheated and that he feels like crap about it (sometimes also lose his girl) from doing this and that he learned his lesson, and never cheats again.

    With men the most common behavior I've seen are 1, followed by 5 and then 3. I think it's sad that I've actually seen 5 more often among men than women. I don't get it though. Truth be told I don't understand cheaters. If you want nail somebody else... (continued below)

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    • (continued) ...then you should probably have the decency to break up with them in the first place. Yeah I know that it not always that easy but here's the thing... it very friggin' likely IS that easy. I for one almost wish I understood why these people do it but I'm pretty sure I won't. Anyway, that's my take on this subject. Try not to flame me too hard for my answers here. These are generalizations and most of these are based off of my own personal experiences based on what I have...

    • Show All
    • ...but what I do think is that for the most part if somebody has cheated that they are extremely likely to just do it again and again. They might reform, but as I have stated in this rather lengthy answer I think that it is extremely rare. Then again that could just be among the people in my area. I hope so. That would give me a better opinion of the human race... but alas I doubt it. Anyway, I hope this answer has been insightful. Have a nice day everyone.

    • I'm checking back on some of my old answers. Doing a follow up.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • I don't know about the whole "once a cheater always a cheater" but I will say this...if he/she has done it once...what's to stop them from doing it again?

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  • lol kinda intresting how the girls voted no and the guys voted yes...

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  • Yea and no 50 50 matters if they care enough to stop if they truly love you they will never cheat on u

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  • yup

    i'm a living proof

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    • Lol. proof that ur a dick. (pretty much man) haha :P

    • Wow I thought I would get fu*ked up comments from girls

      but never expected the first comment would be from a guy... don't be such a pu*sy dude

What Girls Said 7

  • 99% of the time, yes.

    I'm not saying people can't change, or that there aren't those rare "one screw-up" times. But generally, in my personal experience and from what I've seen around me, people who cheat have a different mind set about relationships, and they usually have no problem doing it again.

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  • I'm probably just overly optimistic about it, but I firmly believe people will change under the right circumstances. If they make a mistake like that and it comes back to haunt them, I think they're just as capable as anyone else of understanding that they shouldn't do it again. Especially if they know why they did it in the first place.

    I also believe that anyone is likely enough to cheat eventually, and what's more important is how they react to that situation.

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  • I think it depends. There are few cases that men and women cheat once and never again, depending if they are still in the same relationship while they cheated. But for me personally, I would never take a gut (cheater) back because obviously something was lacking to them in the relationship where they had to receive from another woman.

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  • I think it all depends on the person. I know people who have cheated and really messed up relationships because of it. Those same people haven't cheated since. And then I know people who cheat and cheat and cheat. I think it depends on if the person wants to change or not.

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  • No, of course not.

    I've cheated on a guy once in the past, but I wanted to get out of the relationship. I didn't love him, had tried to break up with him already but he begged me not to and showed up crying on my door until I agreed to give things another go.

    Although I would never cheat on someone I loved, if I wasn't happy and felt trapped then I could see how it could happen again.

    In the instance where I did cheat, knowing that other people Did actually find me attractive helped and gave me the strength to break up with the guy.

    In this instance the cheating was only in the form of kissing a nameless guy in a club and stopping almost as soon as I started out of guilt, but I don't think that makes me 'a cheater' and I've certainly never done it to anyone since.

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  • No. People CAN change and you have to give them credit for that. Sure, trust might be A LOT harder for them to establish with you once they cheat but that doesn't mean they deserve it. And just because they promise they won't do it again, doesn't mean they'll stick to their word. Someone who has cheated is highly likely to cheat again so trust really should be earned over a period of time after an incident like that. I dated a guy who cheated on a girlfriend back in high school but never cheated again after that and is a really good guy and deserves just as much trust now as any other person.

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  • I think it all depends on the person some change some dont

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