Am I just purely unlucky or cursed?

Anonymous
I suffer of heart failure... colon cancer and I’ve been diagnosed with lung cancer last month.
When my mother was about to give birth to me the umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around my neck and I wasn’t breathing when I ‘got out’ of my mother’s womb. Took the doctors a little while to make me breathe again, since then my lungs haven’t been functioning properly, but I’m surprised that I’m still alive. I’ve started smoking when I was 14 I think, it just made my life a little less fcked up I guess. 2 years later I got a deep pain in my chest and had to go to the hospital, I was blessed with this heart failure this time and I’ve had to take so many pills... Not even that made me quit smoking, my life became even worse. I was ill, lonely, moderately depressed, while smoking 20-30 cigs a day, drinking coke and having an eating disorder. Years have passed and my habits haven’t changed much, I thought that my life couldn’t get any worse..
But surprisingly it did. 1 month and half ago I’ve started to see dark blood coming out of my rectum and a severe pain. At first I thought that it was a hemorrhoid, but that pain became too much and I’ve decided to see a doctor. The doctor did a colonoscopy and other tests ( English is not my first language I don’t know how the rest are called.), and the results came. Colon cancer in stage 4. My family wanted me to do more tests and more x-rays hoping that the doctor is wrong. After they came I received another ‘amazing’ news, the colon cancer spread to my lungs.
I’ve did this to myself, kind of, but deep down I always knew that I’ll not get past 25, (cancer and heart disease runs in my family.)
The only thing I’ll regret if I die at this age is not having a child and never losing my virginity.
I’ve shared my life here with u people, please don’t judge me for my life choices. I just feel like I have to tell somebody the way I feel and I can’t tell anybody in person..
I hope everyone has a nice day! Bless y’all beautiful souls.
Am I just purely unlucky or cursed?
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