Are traumas always this tough?

Lynx122
Are traumas always this tough?
I was bullied when I was 12-14. The bullying itself was not that terrible butI felt very alone and helpless in that time. And apparently 12 year old me wasn't ready to handle that. I already struggled with and overcame behaviour linked to this trauma multiple times and I thought I had done it but today I realised another thing that was caused by this and it's quite big. It affected my life quite strongly and a lot could change now that I'm aware of it. It has to do with why I tell people about my problems a lot and probably also one of the reasons why I'm on this site.

I honestly didn't expect to still be dealing with this at 30 and it's kind of pissing me off. I was like the most cheerful and open child I would meet everyone with a huge smile even complete strangers and now I'm very solitary and careful of people. Is there ever a time when you've actually overcome it or does it stay with you your whole life?

I feel like I'm still a child in a lot of ways because of this. I'm focusing on loving myself unconditionally atm and it's going well but It would still be nice if I could leave this behind at some point.
Are traumas always this tough?
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