What could this sound like to you?

Anonymous
trigger warning (self harm, suicidal ideation)

- i go from really empathetic and then i lack it. i think of extremely insensitive things about the people i love and wish the worst upon them and hate them. but i love them more than myself, which isn’t a lot but-

- i get so angry and take things the wrong way sometimes

- during my “meltdowns” i scream, scratch myself (sometimes) pick fights, punch my throat, hit my head, hit my head with objects, bite myself, punch myself, shout rude things, shout suicidal things, blame my mum for the reason i’m alive, don’t feel real, nothing is real, confusion, say extremely rude stuff like “you should kill yourself” or something about their appearance, shouting at my mum to leave my room and ask why why she’s leaving, “why don’t you love me?” lasts a couple hours, throwing stuff

i’m diagnosed with adhd, social anxiety and depression but my psychiatrist thinks it’s more than that :)
Updates:
18 d
i have more symptoms lol, this was in my notes for a reminder of what to tell the psychiatrist
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