How to overcome being a recovered Anorexia?

I recorved from Anorexia a year ago, I was 114 lbs at 5ft6, I had to be hospitalized and put on a feeding tube, after I left the hospital 3 months later I was 150 lbs... I'm now 140 lbs at 5ft6, I was 130 4 months ago before I met my boyfriend, To be honest I feel like shit, I was wondering how I could overcome the thoughts of wanting to be skinny again, I'm currently at a healthy weight, is what my doctors are saying but I feel fat and disgusting, being 114 lbs for 2 years straight really fucked up my self image, and my boyfriend has been making me eat and telling me I shouldn't lose weight, all I want is to get to 135... but I dont know if that's the best for my mindset to be doing diets and losing weight, I feel stuck... Some days I try to starve myself but then my boyfriend stops me, any opinions or thoughts on what I should do? Or how to love my weight as it is?
How to overcome being a recovered Anorexia?
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