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How should I handle my grandma that often puts down my mom?

My grandma on my dads side and my mom didn’t see eye to eye when my mom and dad were married. They divorced because my dad couldn’t keep it on his pants. 30 years later, my mom had passed away and I occasionally visit my grandma like today for Christmas.

My grandma often takes stabs at my mom who’s no longer here to defend herself so when my grandma says something negative about my mom, I’ll defend her. Her and I have went head to head before because I’ve told her I’m tired of her disparaging my dead mom.

Today she implied my mom was a user and a slut. Which doesn’t even make sense considering my dad had always been WAY sluttier. And my grandma will agree but still she can’t help but to dig that knife in.

This woman is 87, and I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth continuing to fight her about. She’s a miserable old woman. Not that it’s an excuse. And not that I don’t think my moms honor deserves to be defended. I’m just tired of telling her to knock it off only for me to get upset and her to call me too sensitive.

Should I double down or just quit going around her even on holidays?
How should I handle my grandma that often puts down my mom?
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