Started seeing him casually 10 months ago, super intense & almost instantly I knew this was different. also about this time he lost his job, his 25 year career, Pre covid no one could have ever seen this coming. through summer we cont’d our time together & we def grew into amazing friends & the connection between us is crazy & we openly discussed It often, by Sept he was in a rut. the last time I saw him in Sept was different somehow more connected if even possible, we had the most amazing night & the man i slept next to that night I just felt he felt the same. However the struggle to find a job, is taking its toll, draining his life savings, not feeling worthy anymore. he lost all interest in actually seeing each other. He would still tell me he is thinking about me but he’s just disconnected & just not happy him. I let him have his space & just let him know I’m here for him. He always thanked me, told me how much he appreciates me. all I could do was let him find his way. I just let him know he was not alone. So Oct & Nov same & yet I have never felt closer to him although I have not seen him. Thanksgiving I wake to his text telling me how much he appreciates me & is grateful for me etc. I’ve still at this point never felt closer to him but have not seen him in 3 months almost. I miss him terribly. December he was at his lowest & the most reclusive. We still talk but I could tell he was shut down, stressed he was just distant more. He has always been very open with me about how he’s doing, feeling & I always let him know his situation did not define him, I always just let him know I’m here for him. But December was tough I really miss him. So Christmas Eve I got a text wishing me a glorious Christmas and thanking me for our amazing friendship this year and that he appreciates me So much. It’s a complicated situation for sure because I am crazy madly in love with him. I cannot imagine him not in my life either. But my ♡ .