My father spoke to his father about marriage, now what should I do?

So my dad really likes one of my friends. I also had a crush on him for the longest but never came around to telling him. Also I never told my dad about my feelings for him. I know he cares for me but doesn't love me. My dad been telling me that he likes him and wants me to get married to him. I always tired get my dad to forget him. When i realized my dad had his heart set on him, i told him that at least talk to him before talking to his father.

My dad invited his dad and him to my house for something else. I never thought my dad would bring up marriage since I told him to speak to him first then his dad. I dont know what was said since I was in the other room. But I told my friend that I want to speak to him in person.

I dont what to say to him. I didn't tell him my dad was thinking about him for me. He hates dishonest people and I made a mistake. I thought my dad would speak to him first because I know he would say no. I probably lost his friendship and I dont know what to do


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have parents that are similar, and they've put me and my boyfriend in an awkward position as well. My parents also has his heart set on him, they talked to his about marriage, and they agree they want us to. So now we have pressure from both side. My father always acts as kind of a dating coach. My dad even asks him about our sex life and if he's satisfying me! At that point I had to really put my foot down and tell them to back off and to let us make that decision.

    What you should to, is reiterate to your father that it's ultimately up to you both. Stay honest with your feelings. As for you dad, you can't change his opinions, however you should take his advice and respect them.

    If your dad likes him that much, I'd definitely give dating your friend a shot. You should tell your friend that you have feelings for him, if you decide you want to pursue a relationship. You can still remind your father though it's ultimately your choice.

    • I am just afraid of all this ruining our friendship. I dont want him to think I put my dad up to this because I like him. He is a really good friend and even through I been crushing on him i didn't want to tell him because I dont want to lose our friendship. I am thinking of telling him I knew my father was talking about marriage but my father never knew of my feelings for him and that I understand I might have ruin the friendship and I am sorry and just end it at that.

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    • I can but I really dont think he is at all interested in me, he cares for me but love, I doubt. I think I should wait till he gives his answer to what he wants. But he will ask me question, why did I tell my dad no and everything that lead up to this.

      I didn't want to hide it from him but I never thought it would get this far. I am so scared of seeing him.

    • You shouldn't freak out too much about this. If he's a good friend, he'll understand and even if he isn't interested in you in a "love" kind of way, he'd just say so. It wouldn't affect your friendship, if he's truly a good friend.

      If he agrees to date you, just see what happens. Definitely tell your dad you have feelings for this guy if this happens. What does your friend's dad think?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Your culture does arranged marriages?

    • No but I dont have anyone in my life... always working so thats why

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    • I am going to talk to him myself and I would have to tell him that I knew my dad was going to talk to him about marriage. I just dont know how he will take it

    • Hopefully well.

What Girls Said 1

  • What is your cultural background?

    • I am very mixed but max. european... I want to know what I should say to him, if you could help me with that

    • Its really a messy background, all I know is I was born in America and that good enough for me.

    • Okay, go to the guy and be like, "so, my dads a freak." And he'll probably laugh it off. Don't make this into a serious thing because that'll make him feel weird. Joke about it and show that nothing's changed in terms of your relationship. Now, let your friend decide if he wants to take things further. He'll ask you out Ic he wants to date you. In the mean time put on some heels, a short dress and act like he's not thaaaat important, this will spike his interest in you