I think me having 1:1 conversations with my friends husband makes her feel uncomfortable?

So I have question well more of a "what would you do in my situation" scenario type thing.

So I have two new friends that I met this year in college.
They're a young married couple. They kind of rushed into marriage within four months of meeting which is fast but not all unusual in Asian culture.

To the point so "the husband" is texting me frequently and I feel like it might be upsetting the "the wife".
I mean it was like 6 months before she let him get my any 1:1 convos and once when he met me by coincidence and she was questioning him over the phone. I've also seen instances where he'll be texting and she'll constantly ask him who he's texting, why and she will try like peek over at his phone.

As a girl I guess I kind of understand we get curious but I also sense some insecurity "none of my business" but it makes me feel very awkward when I get caught in the mix.

I don't mind texting "the husband" I mean it's break and we all want to talk to our friends and it's rude to just ignore people

But I wouldn't want to make "the wife feel like there's anything going on"
because we're all friends and I text her too.



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  • First of all, is your texting/communication between her husband and you is secret? If yes and if you three are friends, then why keep it that way if there's nothing really going on? Why not open up when the wife is there?
    If I am the wife and I find out you and my husband is texting privately, I will find it suspicious, not because of mistrust issues or insecurity, but because we are friends in the first place, I mean there's no point of keeping it secret., if I know what's going on and there's nothing really between the two of you, then i wouldn't care much and i will understand..
    If I were you, I would stop texting or replying too much on text with her husband eventhough its not important issue just so to prevent further issue unless the wife knows. It's more better to communicate the three of you in person and have self-control over the situation.

    • I'm not sure if you misunderstood the question or you think just like her

      Let's say you have 3 friends x, y & z
      You all know each other
      Are x and z not allowed to have a conversation which you're not included in?

    • But no I don't actually know if she's aware. Since she never felt the need to give him my # after all these months and I never personally gave him it
      I dont know if she became okay with it or he just took it

      Ex. She texted me saying our group club was planning a meeting in my area on the weekend

      Hour later husband text me planning to hangout because he's visiting a friend near me for the next 3 weeks

      It's like they both don't know they're talking to me, which made me curious