Would you ask your parents to come live with you when you're married?

Firstly, free caretakers. :) They can keep the house clean and you might even come back to a freshly prepared home-made dinner when you get back from work.

Secondly, free babysitter. Your parents would love to play with their grandchild. Your kid will grow up learning from your parents who have done a relatively good job on you yourself, and learn to love their grandparents.

Thirdly save rent. There's little point in buying a huge house just to leave it empty most parts of the day. It also makes it more liveable when you get back, it feels homely. Makes your dollar more worth it.

Fourthly repay your parents. Now this is a slightly unique situation but I got my education loan from my parents. I could possibly have them sell their old house and move in with me, and I let them stay for free, rent, utilities and living expenses are all covered by me. That way I can repay them for the education fees.

What do you think? Sounds good?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn´t ask my parents to come and live with me while married. The reason: your new family must have their own space, and so your parents
    1.- Your parents are going to live with you for: Cleaning the house? They are supposed to have their time for resting, travel to places they couldn't go while working for paying college, do hobbies they didn't have time to do, etc.
    2.- Our parents raised their own children, now that they are adults, their job is done. One thing is to visit their grandchildren and hang out with them, but changing diapers, teaching a kid how to write and read, is another story. If we want to have kids, we have to take the full responsability of it.
    3.- It's true that having your family around is amazing, however, when you are married there's stuff that must be kept to your wife and you. Our parents wouldn't want to hear or know about others fights or argues with your wife while watching tv, having dinner, etc.

    If you really want to give them a good life why don't you better plan trips for them? or pay for a membership in a nice club or ask them what would they want to do during their retirement?

    • Your other suggestions isn't mutually exclusive though. I can have them stay with me AND still give them monthly allowances to make travel trips or go to the club or go shopping.

      Point 1 I was a little too... insensitive. I actually wanted to mean like, they can do whatever they want to do, but odds are high that there'll be free cupcakes and dinners overnight or something like that. And I do think they have a compulsive urge to shuffle our stuff around so it looks neat lol. But if they don't feel like it, I can hire a housekeeper too or have weekend family cleanups.

      Point 2. Well we'll definitely do our part when we're at home. I mean, this is new territory trying to juggle a family with 2 working parents.

      Point 3 taken. It's kinda weird if my parents overheard stuff like that.

    • It really depends on your family dynamic; when i have spoken with my parents about this topic these were some of the arguments they gave me why not.

    • That's totally true. It's something my mom mentioned before when I was a kid, so the idea just kinda stuck with me. They're interested in trying it out.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • Nopenopenopenope.
    My parents would never agree to doing any of that shit. I love them and I know that they love me, but they would want me to focus on my new family independently, instead of having them do all the work for me. Also, if I against all odds decide to get married and have kids, I think my parents would still be working when I do. So they wouldn't have time to work AND take care of my family for me at the same time.
    When/if I get married and have kids, I want to be independent (with my husband, of course). I don't want to rely on anyone else to take care of our family for us. Sure, I would be more than happy if my parents could pitch in and help with the kids every now and then if they feel like it, but I would by no means want them to move in with me and act like nannies etc. And since they haven't paid for my education (considering that it's free where I'm from), I don't have a lot to pay them back for financially, or like, they wouldn't feel as though it's necessary for me to pay them back for anything.
    All in all, a situation like that would NOT work for me or my parents. They would want me to take care of myself and my family on my own (but obviously with the help of my husband).

    • Also, I would just like to enjoy the privacy with my husband in peace. I bet that my parents would like to live alone with each other, too.

    • I guess it's something both parents and spouse need to agree on haha!

    • Yeah. Once I move out, they stop taking care of me. Just as it should be.

  • If your parents and wife get along and YOUR WIFE IS OK with this, go for it. If they can't get along or someone is uncomfortable with the idea then don't do it. Also make sure that there is enough space for privacy in the house like there is a guest room for your parents far from yours.

  • No way. I couldn't stand that arrangement. My parents are insane

  • they can come by to live temporarily but not permanently

    • That would be kinda great too, in a way. Stay-home cation with the grandparents

    • yupppp

  • yes ! it's practically the only goal i've been sure about since i was little.

    • omg serious? High five!

      though to be honest, the only thing keeping me back is... how am I gonna have sex with my partner lol? It's gonna be freaking loud and I probably wanna try something "weird" too that I prefer my parents not to hear. ;)

    • Show All
    • Or maybe, different floors of an apartment would be fine too. If in the city.

    • yes that's a good idea

  • Well, all you said was true but I find it weird if your parents were living with you.
    Unless they were sick or they couldn't afford their home anymore and they didn't want to be put in a nursing home.
    But I guess it's just up to you, really.

    • I just thought it'd be better for both kids and grandparents to be around each other. And being a way to avoid the "2 parents are working" conundrum. But yea, it's probably a personal preference.

What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like you've got Peter Pan syndrome "I'll never grow up" Your parents can't look after you forever.

    Let them live how they want now.

    Not how you want them to live.