I hope you can help me. I have been dating this guy for two years, he is twenty eight, I am twenty seven. about four months into the relationship, I decided to ask him if he had plans of getting married anytime soon say in two years, he told me that marriage was not in his plans for now, that he had a lot to accomplish before that. I now decided to push further by asking him, if he ever felt I would be that person when the time finally came, and he said he did not know. I continued dating him, and after our first year anniversary, I brought up the marriage issue again,. This time, he told me he loved me with his whole soul and mind, but did not know if he wanted to marry me. I decided to call it quits and he said it was okay, that he would be selfish by keeping me back, when he knew he had no plans for me for the future. unfortunately, I started believing in my head that maybe if we dated longer, he would one day decide to love me more and decide he wants to marry me. so I begged him that we should come back, which we did, and its two years now. I decided to bring it up again, and he says the same thing. That he knows I would make a good wife for him, but he is not ready to make that decision, he doesn't know when he would be ready to, and that he feels very selfish that he has been dating me all this while. But he does not want to break up with me, he just wants me to know where he stands. mHe only wants a relationship, nothing more.
I feel very bad, I decided to call it quits after he said all that, but deep inside me, I still love him. that tiny voice is still telling me to go back, I am confused. I don't want to waste more time on someone who doesn't feel I am good enough. one part of me is hoping that the break up would make him realize how much he needs me, another part wants to keep dating him till I meet someone else, but we are so close that I would never have the time to go on dates. What kind of person loves a girl so much but wants her to marry someone else? I do everything for this guy, clean , wash, iron, make food and take to him at work, in fact, I act like a wife already. help him set appointments, send his mails, etc
I also found out that his ex left him for this same reason
Most Helpful Girl
First, I can say a guy needs certain things in place in his life to want to marry. He needs to be ready. Typically this means he needs to have his life and career in a place where he feels like he can be a husband. My ex-husband and I broke up after 2 years of living together because we were going to get married and then he decided he wasn't ready. Well, he had gone back to college to start a new career and I did not understand that a man will not marry if he doesn't see himself as ready to support the family, even if there is no family to support (in other words I worked too and we had no children). So, we did end up back together after 6 months and we did marry after he finished college and got his first good job.
However, if that is not the situation here, he may simply never want to marry you. First, he has all the benefits of being married without doing it. Second, you had to beg him to get back together and he let you go a 2nd time. I would have to say that you have made the best decision to leave him. I don't think he truly appreciates you as someone he cannot do without. If he did, he would not let this happen again. Unfortunately you can show him that you would be a great wife but if his heart is not in it, he will not marry you. It is hard but you need to make yourself available for someone who will treasure you as the one for them.0