I don't know what to do about this engagement...

My boyfriend of a year proposed to me a few months ago.

I was going through a hard time with my job and people I considered my friends at the time. Rumors were being spread about me and it started to interfere with my job since my job relies solely on rep.

It felt, to me, that he proposed to me because he thought it would stop the rumors. But the rumors continue. He even told me, part of the reason he did it was because he wanted the rumors to stop.

I'm between a rock and a hard place. I accepted the proposal because I felt I was pushed into a corner and all the problems I've been having seems to make me think that maybe a proposal could be my crutch for now. It's not fair to him

I love him, but for a while now...I've been feeling butterflies for someone else. I haven't done anything about it, its a guy that was my friend since we were kids. We had a thing some time ago, he tried backstabbing me once but he still claims to care for me and maybe its just me being blinded by foolishness and the feeling of being cared by someone I loved a long time ago, but I don't know why I seem to be more interested in him.

It would be wise for me to give the ring back, but I do still have small feelings for my current boyfriend/fiancee. I'm confused and feel the need to seek out more advice.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Woah there, lets get this straight. You're engaged to a man that you don't really want to be engaged to and you're interested in a man that has stabbed you in the back before.

    If you don't get honest with yourself, you're going to end up making some terrible mistakes.

    First, marriage is never something you should walk into casually. You should never get engaged to stop rumors or save face, but rather out of love and commitment. You have small feelings for your current fiancee, but are those feelings strong enough to say, "I will spend the rest of my life with you"? This is a serious decision and it deserves some serious thought.

    As for the other guy, I would be weary of the fact he stabbed you in the back. I mean, there are plenty of fish in the sea, if nether of these men are doing it for you than you owe it to yourself and to them to be honest.

    Just my thoughts.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You should have more than small feelings for some one you vow to spend the rest of your life with.

    As far as the rumors go... you can't let them control your life. And you certainly can't let them make you get married. That's just a recipe for divorce.

    Sometime soon, you're going to have to stop caring about what other people think of you. It's generally never really that worth it. Even if your job depends on it. No job is worth your happiness.


What Girls Said 2

  • you should tell him how you feel. just be honest with him! the longer you wait the more he will get hurt and end up hating you. please tell him in a nice way <3

  • As for the other guy, it's human nature to want what you can't have. Ask yourself, is your boyfriend/fiancee your best friend? The one person that you can tell anything to and would be there through thick and thin? If he isn't, then it wasn't meant to be in the first place. If he is, then you're just going through cold feet.

    Also, you don't have to be engaged or get married to be with him. If you're really not ready or feel it's not for the right reasons..Just simply tell him. If he TRULY cares about you, he'll understand.

    Oh and about the rumors. People like power and use rumors to gain it...And by letting them get to you, you're giving them power of you.

    Suck it up and show them you're stronger than that =)

    Good luck!