Do you consider this to be a proposal? Or is HIS STYLE of propose is just different?

I'm sorry for my bad grammars. English is not my native language.
Me and my BF are in a committed relationship. We both are two Financial Independent adults with our own jobs, I'm 30 and he is 29. The relationship is full of fidelity on both physical & emotional level. There is no third party between us.

He is not the type of guy that talks a lot about his inner feelings. He more of the 'actions' type, than the 'words' type, when he say something, he do it.

Once we passed by a jewelry store; he asked me what kind of wedding ring do I like when we get married. And in the jewelry store, I specificly point to the type of ring I want: the simple classic wedding band ring.
He still remember what I said, so few months ago he end up getting this matching wedding pair band ring for us. It was his idea, he buy the rings out of his own willing.

He wore the ring 24/7 on his left hand. And since he buy the matching rings himself, so pretty much he put a ring on his own left finger, telling everyone that he’s taken.

But he NEVER say the 'official' proposal words to me. Many times he said that: "If you want, we can go register for marriage tomorrow". He said this before, and he still say it now.

He still asked the question often, few times a week. He asked again two nights ago, he just throw it out there, he be like "Baby, if you want, we can go apply for marriage liscence tomorrow."

I just can't seem to find myself to accept this as an 'official' proposal. Seem like he just throw the ball on my court, and let me be the one to decide when I'm ready to want to get married?

Do you coinsider this as he propose? Or do I have propose to him and ask his hand in marriage? Do you think he is the type of guy that "Want a serious relationship, but Not want a marriage?

Due to my tradditional Chinese culture. I wasn't raise to be taught that me as a girl should go propose to a guy, or ask the guy directly if he want to get married.

I was wondering if
1. He wants a serious relationship, but does NOT want a marriage.
2. He wants marriage, but he just not declaring it to me with extravagant flowery ways.

I don't want to propose to him, I also don't want to ask him for marriage.
I don't want to force marriage out of a man. Whenever he ready he can propose to me. I can wait for him like I alwayws been waiting. I just that sometmies I wonder what he REALLY wants in his head, or if he even serious at all.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Duplicate.

    • Sorry, I want to start this thread here in the Relationship section so I can get a POLL on this.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • The next time he brings up registering for wedding liscence just say, I would like to register after you propose to me smile and wink at him. It doesn't seem that hard I think he is just waiting, he prob thinks you need a liscence first.

    • i57. tinypic. com/s4yr6e. jpg
      (I don't know how to post pic in here, but can highlight and cut and paste the above link to see)
      He got this type of matching gold band ring for us, and he wore it on his left hand marriage finger 24/7 too. I hope he serious, he better be serious. As a man, you don'tthink he would wear this just for fun right?
      Well on the voting poll, there some guys who think he just want a relationship but not want a marriage.

    • Anyways, link show up with space in between.
      Is there a way to post pic in this forum? Do we need some sort of script code to post pic?

    • I dont beleive he wpuld do this just for fun no. As I saod next rime he suggests registering smile say you would love to after he proposes ;)

  • Umm he seems like the "I don't give a shit about traditions " type of dude, it does seem like the closest you'll get from him, he could just not think proposals are something to make a huge fuss over , so he's telling you that you two can get married when YOU want since he's trying in his own way to put you first by allowing you to decide exactly when you're ready to marry him,

  • He just doesn't want a fancy wedding. My parents have been married 18 years and they got married in a court house.

  • Dont marry him untill he fully confesses it
    y register marriage when u can have a real marriage

  • If you cannot be honest and straightforward with him, you probably shouldn't be getting married.

    Tell him clearly that you need him to do the traditional proposal.


What Girls Said 4

  • He may just not be very traditional, or doesn't see marriage as anything more than the next step in a relationship.
    But don't be afraid to break gender roles, propose to him, or ask him what's up and why he hasn't proposed to you; some guys have really thick heads and you have to confront them for them to understand anything.

  • That is his style
    He did not ask u so that is his style

  • I would say he is keeping it simple, I mean who would do such things simply for the girl he must something on his mind wait till he say something.

  • When he asks again tell him ok lets go (thats if you are serious about it) an see his reaction. If he really want to he'll make a move. Dont expect tradition.

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