Last name change options?

My SO and I, if all goes well, plan on getting married someday. She doesn't want to change her name, and I doubt she will change her mind. I want her to change to my last name, but I respect her decision not to. However, I want our names to at least reflect our marriage. What options do I have?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You can getna hyphenated last name and have both. I have two last names


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Unless you want to take her last name it appears your option is to get off your patriarchal horse and get over it and just deal.

    This also should show you that you' probably should not marry her.

    • "I respect her decision not to" im defiantly on my patriarchy high horse... (Sarcasm)
      I just want there to be something physical other than a piece of paper for a marriage. I don't want her taking my last name to dominate over her something like you are suggesting, I want a same last name to show loyalty and unity. I'm looking for options so we don't HAVE to share the same last name. Get off YOUR high horse

    • Show All
    • I was actually asking for options, like a brainstorm. Also, where I come from, you marry the person you are with in high school a lot of the time. We've been together around 3 years also.

    • Where I come from you do that too. But I've seen countless relationships last all of HS and then they break up at graduation.

  • I have no problems with taking a guys last name. I see it as a way we're connected as one. Does she want to keep both names different or does she want you to take her's?

    • She said she wants to keep hers. I haven't asked why, because I don't want to sound too pushy or controlling

  • You're WAAAAAY too young to be thinking about marriage. If she doesn't want too change her name get over it, it's not the dark ages whet women were passed from dad's to husbands. We have choices now. The best choice for both of you is to realize your shouldn't be thinking about marriage but rather about high school, college, living expenses, car payments, affording food, and a career before marriage. Perhaps after you live in the real world you'll know how insignificant this question is.

    • I am not trying to argue here, but I feel I should think about marriage. In some countries people are married at 14. And I am not saying she HAS to change my name, you can read in the other comment I left that I just want us to share a last name. Why am I sexist for wanting the same name, even if it's not my own?

    • Let me put it this way. In the long run your name isn't important it's the type of person you are.

      Yea I think you're ridiculous to be thinking about marriage at your age. Don't compare your situation to a 3rd world country those people don't have the internet and die very young because they don't get flu shots. Or those 14 year old girls are sold into marriage to be raped by men twice their age. That's not even a comparison.

What Guys Said 2

  • My mom pretty much kept her maiden name and now it gets super confusing. Sometimes I have to explain "no they're not divorced" and it gets confusing when she has to sign certain things.

  • If you love her enough to marry her then you should indeed respect her decision, it'll be the first compromise of many! lol