Does marriage make you sad?

I'm getting married this year but I think we are only getting married because we had a baby. It's exciting planning the wedding and I can see myself with this person for life, but I just don't see myself having the life I always dreamed of. I am worried that after the wedding I will have nothing to look forward to and nothing to talk about with my partner. Does marriage change anything? I feel more secure to be married and I think it's what I need to be a good mother. But I wish I got to live more of my life as a single person. I just don't want to be without my partner or child. But I want to have friends and save my own money and go away on girls holidays. Can you still do that if you're married to someone and have kids? Or does life just end so that you can look after your husband and children? What if your husband is broke and your life is a struggle does it ever change?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've been told that marriage is one of the happiest moments in someone's life but to me, I get depressed every time this happens. I really have to wonder how long the marriage will last, if the couple are and will truly be happy with one another for future years to come. The price of divorce is very steep if your unhappy and how do you know if your beloved won't become an alcoholic or go off doing something that could ruin your life? The freedom that you once had has disappeared and life gets significantly more stressful emotionally and mentally. I just can't grasp how marriage is a good thing...

    But don't let this negativity discourage you from marriage! :) I've been raised to believe that marriage is nothing more then a scam because my parents have been divorced, I've seen enough fighting and abuse within marriages from other people to last a lifetime, it's messed up.

    I'm praying that your husband will treat you very well, give you lots of love and that your marriage will be very successful with your child :D You can do it if the two of you cooperate and work things out :)

    • My parents were divorced too so I am skeptical.

    • Just remember that your not them. You can be the better role model to how a successful marriage works :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm married and I'm not sad at all. my wedding day was one of the best days of my life; however, I was not getting married for any reason but I was totally in love with my wife. I wouldn't want to get married for any other reason and can understand your trepidation

    • I hope we are in love... But it's hard to say as we have a child now and things just seem forced... Although it could just be the lack of sleep and freedom. I guess I will just have to figure out if we are still in love.

    • It doesn't help that the wedding is costing more money than I have ever had and I just can't justify spending all that money... We don't even have a steady home or new cars and we are going to spend $15,000 on a wedding. It just makes me sick... It's a dream wedding for a shit life. Don't know if it's worth it.

    • you don't lose freedom being married. I still have my friends (in fact I went and visited a bunch two weeks ago, have a weekend in may and a short trip to Puerto rico planned in May)

      I still save my own money. we have a joint account but I still have my own savings.

      I think you are having the typical fears about marriage. the old "cold feet"

  • No, human stupidity does.


What Girls Said 2

  • If you feel that way about it then you should NOT get married - child or no. You should NOT get married. End the engagement now.

    I am so excited to get married and spend the rest of my life with that one man. If you have issues going into the marriage, you will have issues in the marriage. They don't go away after you say "I do." They're still there, often amplified.

    You can still have a life in a marriage, but with your insecurities I'd seriously advise that you not get married to this man.

    What's better for the child? Two resentful bitter parents who live together or two happy loving parents who live apart?

    • Do you have kids?

    • Show All
    • I am excited to get married because I will marry my best friend in the whole world. We'll share in everything and work together to get through this thing called life.

    • I don't resent him. I just am scared that all our plans will never get us anywhere.

  • Marriage should definitely not make anyone sad, it should be a joyous occasion. Your life isn't ending, it's just beginning a new chapter, that's all. You can still save your own money and go out with your girl friends. Marriage shouldn't end your social life unless you allow it to. You don't sound like you even want to get married so, perhaps you should re-think things. Just because you have a child together doesn't mean you have to marry this person. Plenty of people are able to be wonderful parents and aren't married to the mother/father of their child.

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