How do I fix this

This is complicated so ...I reconnected with an old high school friend of mine...we dated briefly, but remained good friends. I was in the process of separating from my husband, and he and I began an online affair and spoke on the phone. We didn't actually meet up until a couple of weeks later. We ended up making out, and he made the first move. He broke up with me the next day, saying he was uncomfortable about the fact that I was married, and that he didn't want me to feel bad. He was doing it because he thought it was in my best interests. I disagreed, but respected his opinion, and we ended as friends. The next day, he asked me to come over, and ended up putting the moves on me, even though he was conflicted about it. We began seeing each other . He asked me how I felt about getting involved in arelationship so soon after ending my marriage. I told him that I could not think about having a future with someone else until my marriage was figured out, and that this was not a relationship. He said he just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.I thought we were.

Our situation has lasted for three months, and he has given me mixed signals throughout.He was cool with me, we would have sex, and then he would ignore me for a few days. If I tried to talk to him, he was cold and distant. Then everything would go back to normal, and the pattern would resume. I asked him once in a roundabout way, why he did this. He answered that he was just pacing himself. I asked him why, and he would not elaborate. He said he just was. More often than not, he would end the cold and distant behavior by asking how things were going with my husband. I would always tell him that I knew my marriage was over. He would always respond by asking to see me.

The last time we were together, everything seemed fine, and we seemed to be getting closer. When we are together, I can tell that he is completely into me. The last time was three weeks ago, and we usually do not go that long without seeing each other. He was still speaking to me, we just had not made any plans. I told him that I told the marriage counselor that I wanted to end the marriage, and he seemed fine with it. We continued to speak. Then all of a sudden he seemed to start avoiding me. So I asked if he was OK. He said fine he was just busy. I let it go for a few days. After I still didn't speak to him,I texted him and I asked him what was up. He said nothing. I responded by saying that if it was nothing, then why was he not speaking to me. He texted back and said...IDK . Just been busy. WTF. I answered by saying that was all he had to say. WTF.

That was two days ago, and I have not spoken to him since.

Did I misread his signals? If it were any other guy, I would have written him off as a jerk, but I know he is not. And secondly, how do I go about fixing things? I don't want this to end this way, and I am not even sure it is over at this point. In either case, he means a lot to me, and I don't


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  • Okay, it seems that you started off by saying that you were ending your marriage, then you and the new friend have an agreement that you both are just friends with benefits til the marriage is resolved. Now what is it that you are wanting from this new man. Do you want a relationship or what cause I have never really had a friends with benefits and we talked everyday (just called when I wanted to see him ..hint). Either I am confused or you are REALLY confused as to what you want at this point. I would think that you would be concentrating on getting past the divorce so that you will officially be able to date the new guy but you have both of them in the picture and you want him to get closer. Spending time, talking on the phone, texting... It doesn't come with the package,sorry. he is going to move as slow as possible meaning he is not going to get emotionally involved with you until he feels secure and has complete understanding of the current situation. Yeah, he will continue to have sex, who wouldn't? I really think that the confusion is not coming from his end, it's yours. Hope this helps! Love & Peace!

  • seems he likes friends with benefits.