Am I expecting too much from my boyfriend to propose to me again after our first engagement was broken?

My boyfriend, who I have a 17 month old son with, proposed to me 11/4/2013. I accepted, but we had so many hardships, issues that tore us apart and we ended up separating for almost a month. My ring was taken and he moved out. We've since been back together trying to restore our intimacy and come closer as a couple and raise our son in a healthy environment.

We've gotten into many arguments over marriage. He feels because he proposed once, there's no need to do it again and that I should just take the ring he bought, put it on and be happy otherwise I'm being ungrateful and superficial. I don't feel the ring holds sentimental value anymore, as I was once told by him the ring was tainted the moment it touched my finger and it had been taken away from me many times before we split. I bought him an engagement ring as well, but we vowed to not taint our rings and that's all we did.

I will buy a new ring to symbolize a fresh start, whereas he doesn't feel he should so much as do a trade-in. I feel I'm deserving of that fairy-tale proposal. I feel just accepting the ring is another sign he doesn't respect or value me. Mind you, he told me when he would propose, showed me the receipt for the ring, and gave me the wedding band instead of the engagement ring and to add insult to injury he keeps the ring box on top of our refrigerator so I can see it whenever I want as if it's a piece of forgotten mail. He then told me if he buys me a new ring, it won't have a diamond in it. He's posted online we're engaged again, so his family and friends are congratulating us, telling us to keep them posted on wedding details and he hasn't even asked me to marry him again and I feel he thinks he can get away with the bare minimum and I should be okay with that, but he wouldn't be or settle for less than he feels he deserves. Our first engagement was broken, so doesn't that mean a new proposal would be needed in order to become engaged again? Or am I just asking too much?

Thanks for all opinions! Our first engagement was broken, meaning we separated, were not living together, and I no longer was wearing a ring because it was taken, meaning the engagement ended. To say we're engaged without having asked me to marry again, I feel devalued. It puts me in the position where if I express my feelings on the matter, we're more than likely going to argue, break up permanently or I put on a "FACE", seethe and resent him, show a lack of self-respect and be a doormat.


Most Helpful Guy

  • In my opinion, a new proposal is required since the original proposal was called off. Imagine I went to my ex boss and said I'm still working there now because he said yes to me before so now I'm just walking back in. (after I left that company) A new fresh proposal, rings and everything that comes with it is required in my opinion.
    The box on the fridge? Next time he's not around, get some ketchup to splat on it, get it dirty but not so much that it doesn't look like natural causes. It shouldn't be in the kitchen so if it gets all nasty and dirty its not your fault. Maybe you should chuck the box behind the fridge and just claim to not know anything about it. It could have just fallen back there, not your fault.
    It sounds like the two of you have a lot to sort out hey. If he brings more stress and sadness to your life than happiness and joy then you should try and move on.
    Communicate a lot, talk to each other about everything. If it always lands up being a fight, it's not worth it.
    Best of luck


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What Guys Said 3

  • I think every half decent woman deserves that experience, regardless of whether or not it was broken the first time round, so I don't think you're asking too much.

    I'm not sure why he would act like this to be honest... It's understandable to be off put by the first experience but to go as far and post you're engaged without proposing (again).. That's just really unfair in my opinion. I wouldn't let him get away with that and I'd make my voice known about his whole bare minimum deal. Bare in mind that will lead to conflict so keep that in mind at all times and I guess weigh what will be more important.

    Good luck :)

  • I think he should sell that ring on eBay or something and buy a new one that is cheaper but still pretty.

  • a fairy tale proposal? you're living with a guy and had a bastard child... he's not classy enough to try to give you a 'fairy tale proposal' nor are you deserving of one.

    • You sir, sound very much like a verbal abuser, one of those belittling, righteous, narcissistic types. Thank you for your comment. I respect your comment though I don't agree. Adults agree to disagree. I'm very much deserving of a fairy-tale proposal and I will have it :) but thanks for your opinion! Bastard child? Sorry. No bastards over here. In order for one to use the word "classy", which means having or reflecting high standards of personal behavior, I expect them to lead by example and be void of any crude behavior in action and speech; any and everything you say bares YOUR signature :)

      And do not ever disrespect my child or else I won't be so sweet ;)

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