Is this supposed to be the happiest time of my life?

He's 37. I'm 28.
Our relationship has been rocky over the years.
I've been with him since I've been 20.
We've broken up and gotten back together over a dozen times.
We have a kid together.
I got pregnant at 22.
I put my life on hold.
I became a stay @ home Mom for 5 years until my kid started school (and then I continued my education).
I'm from a upper middle class family, and he is from the projects (he lived with his parents).
When I got pregnant I had to move into a crime ridden neighborhood (in the projects because the rent is low), into one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in my state.
I had to get on food stamps, and wic to support our kid because at 31 years old (at the time) he couldn't do it.
He proposed to me on Valentine's day ...but while I'm supposed to be enjoying my engagement I have hidden it from my parents and friends.
I literally haven't told ANYONE.
He told every one in his family that he proposed to me.
Not only am I am very attractive young lady, but I'm a hard worker, finishing up my nursing degree.
He has a decent job but he is in a lot of debt due to his ways.
He has $0 savings, and lives pay check to pay check.
He owes me $4,000. he's late paying rent, paying cable, paying his own (cell phone-car payment bills).
He's pretty much pulling me back.
I <3 him and keep going back to him.
Besides this, he's the man of my dreams.
He genuinely cares about me...and took care of me when I was severely burned, and even going through (turmoil with my family).
What's your opinion on this situation?
I just need an outsiders view.

I made an error I meant to write "I love him and keep going back to him"
Not sure where that weird word "&It;3" came from. Sorry ;P lol


Most Helpful Guy

  • U are a successful women and he isn't while he's lazy and all? Welll yeah u can say that u fawked up ur life BIC time. Ma dumb sis is about to get into that situation now and ma parents and older bro scold and lecture her about 4 times now and she still wouldn't let go of him smh. Ma dad told her not to come back once again if she ever married him. In ma eyes, i agree with ma parents as well. y'all naive cuties should think twice before its too late considering how risky ur actions are. Toughluck xP

    • Well show her my story :( so this doesn't happen to her.

      With all that has happen... I still don't know what to do.
      I had to cut off the cable because he pays late.
      My last threat was me kicking him out if he doesn't get himself together.
      I don't consider myself naive though, I really didn't see the situation for what it was until I was in too deep.

    • Show All
    • Thats what y'all get for not listening to ur parents. y'all are still young and naive. Think about how long ur parents have lived? They have accumulated all this experiences during their whole life so ofcourse! They know more than u. When ur still young and naive, people can be stubborn and dobt take things into considering. y'all only care about how good he looks and how charming and charismatic he is. Thats what y'all fall for >.>

    • Tankyu i LUV u baby 💏

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What Guys Said 3

  • Is your question whether you should marry him or not?

    Argument for:
    1. You already have a child together, and said child is better off with both parents, as a general rule.

    Arguments against:
    1. He can't manage his money
    2. He appears to not be making any effort to improve his (and by extension YOUR) situation.

    • :( did i ruin my life by choosing him?
      I wasn't thinking about how this would affect me until I had a kid with him.
      He wants to build a bigger family, live happily ever after, but i dont see that ever happening.
      And I know with his financial state i'll never see my $4,000.

    • And I'll always live in the projects if I stay with him. He <3's cheap rent. I had to push him to get the job he has now.

    • If he can't understand the need for better schools for his and your child, unless you can use your parent's address for your child's school enrollment, then drop him.

      You may have made a big mistake choosing him, but now that you have a child together you are in it. It is not like you can turn back time. Cheap rent is wonderful, but at some point you want a guy who will work with you in order to *buy* a place to live.

  • get a lawyer, get your money back, and walk away

  • Lol He must know how to lay down the pipe real good, nomsayin? xD!!!

    • No it wasn't that. I actually had more experience than him despite him being almost a decade older.
      It's just that a lot of men mistreated me and he was the first to treat me with respect.

    • U dun goofed..

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