I've been dating this guy for 5 years and we don't talk about being engaged or marriage we have friends that have been dating for way less then we are and they're talking bout moving out and being engaged within two years, I don't know why me and my boyfriend don't talk about it and I don't know how to bring it up either because I don't want rush things, idk what to do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're young, no point in bringing in that talk yet.

    If you've been together this long then I think you will eventually take that next step.

    I remember one of my professors at school always said "If you do things in the order they are meant to happen. Then you won't have any regrets later in life"

    The order he was referring to in this case was - School/Career, Marriage, Kids.

    He was with his Girlfriend for 6 years while he was finishing school. He knew that if the girl was with him all that time, and was patient with him accomplishing his goals, that she was the one. They ended up getting married and having 3 kids.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Look before you leap is a wise thing to do. The question is, how long do you look? 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years (not kidding, I have seen people dating for 20 years although that is a bit extreme in my opinion, I personally think both folks really have no desire for marriage, they just succumbed/got tired of public pressure)?

    Points fo consider include:

    1. What are you "leaping" into? For marriage, most people have ---- one lifetime together, in their mind. So, what is 5/10 years when compared to 50-60 years?

    2. How much trust you have in a).yourself, b). the other-"half", that s/he can (i.e. has the ability/integrity) "walk that long path"?

  • have to disagree with most of these Answers. I would have to say that 5 years is quite enough amount of time to be dating somebody and marriage should obviously and naturally be coming to mind for you right now. I don't really know why your boyfriend isn't thinking about marriage now but it could be perhaps that he is a little bit afraid of marriage? I can promise this to you now that you are certainly not rushing things with this situation. Just say the next time you and your boyfriend are hanging out and having a good time then I believe would be a great time to bring up the question of marriage and ask for his opinion and what he thinks about it. But don't ask him a question like "So..when are we getting married?" That is an absolute least for me it would be. Just be suttle about the question and be easy on him, and just let him know the idea is floating around in your head and he will soon get the picture.

    Best Of Luck


What Girls Said 2

  • Well, if neither of you have brought the topic up it is probably because you two do not feel quit sure you are ready to make that step. Different couples function differently, so you and your boyfriend are probably just not ready to even talk about it. On the other hand if you feel like 5 years have provided you and your boyfriend the confidence to talk about anything, then tell him that "moving in" could probably strong your relationship and also help it to make the decision of engaging.

  • After 5 years, this is certainly something you should be able to talk about. You absolutely have a right to know if marriage is a step he could envision himself ever taking with you, and if not, you should be free to find someone who would want to. Keep in mind though, that a major factor in whether he wants to move toward marriage now or not might be age. I'm in my 30's so 5 years is totally different. A lot of men, though, just don't see themselves getting married until they've reached a certain stage in their lives, whether it means owning a house, being out of school for a certain amount of time, or reaching a certain age. (For some men, that can be ages 30-33 or so, especially if they are highly educated.) Whatever the case, talk to him about it; it's the only way you'll know if it will ever be in the cards for you. Just be curious and open (not demanding) about it. And no, after 5 years, you won't be rushing anything.