Married and miserable, what to do?

My old buddy is married, he and his wife are having problems, she cheated on him, he and her had it out. This was a while ago (around a year), now the trust is broken, its like every time I see him he is down. I don't think they communicate at all, he said he thinks she is cheating on him again, it bothers him that she has dreams about other guys and doesn't tell him.

I'd like to help him but all he seems to do is go through the motions. I tell him if he keeps doing this things won't change. I offered to take him out get his mind off his troubles, he doesn't seem to want to go. She and him almost ended their marriage a while ago.

I just want to help him, but the idiot won't let anyone in. What can I do to get through to him?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry to say, but unfortunatly there is not much you can do other than being there for him when he does reach out.

    One of the hardest things to do is sit back and watch friends and family be unhappy in their situations, but unfortunatly until they are ready to learn whatever lessons need to be learned and are ready to make a change for themselves you just have to be there for them. If you choose to.

    Sometimes its hard, but maybe you can take a step back and know that your friend is doing what they think they should be doing, so support them as best as you can. In the mean time just hang back.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • He needs to grow a pair. This chick has him on a short leash and she knows it, which is why she is able to keep this going on. They really need to start talking, and he needs to stand up for himself. If I were you I would tell him to take control of the situation, or stop complaining about it. Nobody wants to listen to someone complain about their situation if they aren't willing to take control of it. If he's really serious about trying to make this work tell him to find a marriage counselor and set up three appointments that are a week apart. After that all he has to do is tell his wife that they have appointments with a marriage counselor, and that he thinks they should go. He needs to go to those meetings, even if his wife won't go. If he has to go to all of them alone, then he needs to divorce her, because she obviously doesn't care enough about the relationship to keep it going then.

  • Sorry, If I was married and was cheated on.. she'd be gone and out of my life. I understand it's hard to accept how someone you love so dearly could do such a thing to you, but it happens. Women are incapable of separating emotion from sex and almost see attention through sex as a way of validation. Fucked up? Yes. Actual? Yes. No good man. Do you have a sister? If so, get her to kick this chicks ass. She is a low-life cheating scumbag whore. No one deserves to ever be cheated on, it's the lowest thing in the world.