He gave me the "it's not you it's me" line... is it really me?

about a month ago my fiance (31 years old) gives me the its NOT you ITS ME sentence! I know the translation to that! but I am sorta confused because he called my mom the other day and said its really him and not me. he loves me and really misses being away from me and that he needs time to think things through and get back on track. what's it really mean? is it me or is it really him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hi Anonymous, it seems your estranged fiancĂ©e is a big of Seinfeld. George Costanza claims to have invented the phrase, and we all know what a stand up guy he was when it came to relationships with "the ladies." Unfortunately your man has chosen a cliche with which to articulate his mixed emotions. I suppose a cliche is easier to package and market to friends and family who certainly will demand to know what's gone awry. The shout out to your mom demonstrates an eagerness to explore options and seek counsel while attempting to come to terms with his own guilt at hurting you. Anybody can get cold feet and this may be an acute case of frostbite.

    Marriage is tough enough when you begin the union with good jobs, realistic attitudes regarding contemporary partnerships along with a mutual desire to sacrifice. The only thing you know for sure is that your prospective groom is looking straight down the barrel of your future together, and he's probably itchin' to ride the hell out of Dodge. Perhaps you're asking the wrong questions. Do you really want to settle for a man who has to sell himself on a life with you? The man you marry should be seething with hope, excitement, impatience, desire, anticipation or madness, anything but doubt. You may eventually wind up thanking this man for having the strength to admit he wasn't ready to commit as opposed to making a mess out of the next several years of your lives. In the meantime, consider choosing your nail polish based on flavor rather than color.

    • He is excited to be marrying me! he wanted to go get it done the day he asked me!

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