HELP! I am having a second thoughts on my lovely boyfriend and marriage?

First of all, please do not judge me of what I am going to say. This feeling comes out of no where and I am quite confuse and disappointed in myself as well. I have been in a commited, long distant relationship with my lovely boyfreind for about 4 years. We first met when I was a freshmen and he was a senior in college. My lovely boyfreind is a whole package. He's very educated, and have an incredibilty good career. He loves and forgive me a lot as I am 4 years younger then him and I tend to be quite stubburn and childish sometimes. He supports me through tough time and good times all these years in college and he will buy me or give me whatever I ask for (eventho I never ask for anything) He also comes from a very respectible, and wealthy family.

We are planning to get married when I finish college and now it's time. I am starting to have a second thought when I met this guy a couple months ago. I know this sounds all mess up , but this new guy give me all this butterfly feeling, but sadly or maybe fortunately he doesn't like me in a romantic way and only see me as a good friend. Anyway, I feel very unsatisfied wiht my college expereince. I switched college quite often and never get chance to make good friends or invovle in college lives. I feel like I want to go to grad school or professional and start to live a fully college life that I missed during my undergrad (My boyfreind said I can go to grad school even after we get married and that I don't need to worried tuition or money. He will pay for everything and still able to give me a good life)

This is what I am talking about! Life is quite mess up! he's like everything a woman would ask for in a man and why am I having a second thought. I don't understand myself one bit. Someone please shed some light into my situation.


Most Helpful Girl

  • There are a couple things I can say. I hope they will help.

    1.) Why give up love for someone who will only like you as a friend. I mean it can turn into more but that's risky. This guy is willing to marry you!!! Do you know how lucky you are? A lot of girls would kill for their boyfriend to even mention marriage.
    2.) This second guy could just be infatuation not love
    3.) They say if you are stuck between choosing two people choose the 2nd because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second.
    4.) Focus on what you have? Don't go changing something good? Why are you giving up a healthy relationship with a guy who will give you the world for a guy you just met. There will be a lot of guys you meet a long the way don't let them interfer.
    5.) At the end of the day do what you want. But remember you will have to live with the choice.

    Maybe you are just scared about being married. If so talk to your boyfriend he will understand


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If you aren't SURE that you want to be married to him, then don't get married to him now. Tell him sorry, but you need more time. He may decide that he can't wait and dump you. That's still better than marrying him when you aren't sure.


What Girls Said 2

  • You are so blessed!!! Roll that phrase around in your head for a moment. You have nothing to worry about, and if I could, I would give you a hug. Maybe you're just having jitters about the big idea of getting married. It's a wonderful thing, and though I haven't experienced it, I have witnessed it through my loving parents. Maybe you are thinkI got you don't love him like you thought you did. That's fine, because we all can and will have second thoughts. Think of it this way. You have been dating him long distance for about, what four years now? And you have stayed loyal and committed? That right there, is LOVE.

    • Thank You Caroline. It's so nice of you to be so kind and not being judgmental in your comment. It means a lot to me. I know I am very blessed to have such a faithful, loving man in myself, yet I am having a second thought. Thank you thank you

  • You are over thinking..