What do I do and how do I handle this situation?

There's this guy I like at work. Here's the problem(s) 1. He's married 2. I'm engaged 3. He works 3 jobs 4. I work P/T and we work together 2x a month because of our positions in the field we're in.

He tells me ''I'm the only one'' besides his wife he's doing. He is surrounded by pretty women in all 3 jobs, but I'm very attractive but very insecure when I'm around him. I don't trust him. He tells me that I'm the 3rd person he's been with since his marriage.

How much can I believe him? How much can you trust someone if their ''covering things'' up cause I don't think he wants to hurt me BUT I feel like he already has. What do I do and how do I handle this situation?

I do love my fiance, but this guy swept me off my feet with his personality and sexuality.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Can you answer this question and I am not being critical. Why are you having the affair in the first place? From your words my impression is that you've already cheated on your fiance. These questions are really for married women who have affairs and they may not exactly apply to you but here they are.

    Is your fiance lame in bed? Does your fiance not give you enough attention? Does your fiance not say "I love you enough?" Does your fiance not cuddle with you at night? Does your fiance just watch TV and ignore you? Do you get in arguments with your fiance over little things that are really not worth arguing over? Does your fiance not help pay his share of the bills? Can your fiance give you good sex and make you orgasm (most of the time anyway)? Does your fiance not help you with household chores? In general will your fiance be a good husband?

    Does the man who you are having an affair with have something that you are missing in your relationship? Is this other man very interesting and exciting to talk to? Does this other man make you laugh, whereas your fiance does not? Does this other man have something that you need that your fiance does not have such as charm, conversation skills, a sense of adventure, spontaneity, or just plain good sex? Does this other man compliment you and make you feel like a woman and make you feel beautiful, whereas your fiance doesn't say a damn thing?

    There must be something missing in your relationship for you to have an affair in the first place right? You cannot be so selfless to cheat on a good man who is actually good to you and shows it; can you? Should your fiance be surprised that his future wife is cheating on him because he is not treating his future wife as a good future husband should?

    I have this strong suspicion that a large number of men who get cheated on deserve it and had it coming. Is your fiance an example of this? REALLY is there anything your fiance can do or do more of to make you not want to even think about cheating on him? Maybe your integrity has something so do with it, but if your fiance swept you off your feet with his personality and sexuality would you still have the affair?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • So what? He's taken. And it's likely that his personality and charm also swept his wife off of her feet when they got together.

    He's bad news and is proving exactly how untrustworthy he is. Especially if you're lonely.

    It's better to be friends twice a month than to 1) wreck his marriage (even if he's willing) and 2) delude yourself into wasting your life waiting and thinking that he 'may someday' leave her for you. It won't happen. Are you seeking to become someone's 'part time' girl? Keep your chin up and demand better for yourself. Lose him.

  • You are talking about trusting this guy you are having an affair with, and wanting him to be faithful to you, but you're engaged to another man? I think you should take a moment to think about what being faithful means.

    I suggest ending the affair, and possibly even breaking off your engagement. Your fiance deserves to be clued in as to what has been going on, unless you want to keep him in the dark forever. Even if you did that, you would be forever haunted by the way you treated him throughout your years of marriage. If you love him, you should let him know what has been going on, and take your medicine.

  • OK. I love your situation. It's a formula for disaster. Here is my advice.

    1) Don't get involved with anyone who has worse ethics than you.

    2) Don't ever get involved with someone who is in a worse financial situation than you.

    3) You are a cheat and to unmake yourself one, break up with your fiance so you'll be free to sleep with whomever you wish.

    4) Don't worry about who he's sleeping with (Oh yeah, he's banging a lot of chicks. You better believe it. ) Rather, go see a doctor and get yourself tested for VD and HIV. Your health and that of your fiance is much greater at this point.

    5) He lied to you, so how could he have really swept you off your feet? You gave yourself to him.

    6) Sexuality? Join a gym. There's a lot more better looking guys to choose from at the gym if you like sleeping with hot looking men. We're men. We'll f*** any beautiful girl.

    Take care

    Hope you got my message

  • What do you mean how do you handle the situation? How about a little thing called WAKE UP! Are you kidding me? Grow up and stop being a low self esteem whore.


What Girls Said 2

  • Get Out. There is no excuse, and should be no tolerance for a guy who cheats on his wife (or vice versa). I don't care what his excuse is. If he's lying to her, of course he's lying to you. And if you're engaged you should probably get out of that too. Being faithful to one person won't get "easier" just because you're married. It sounds like you need some time to figure out what you want.

    *good luck*

  • This is a really f*** up situation. you are engaged why are you cheatin you need to let you guy go or at least tell him you are cheatin. Do you want to work it out with you guy do you still loe him . How long have you dated. Get involved with someone that married is totally wrong. I feel cheatin is. advice let the married guy go. try and work things out with your guy he may not want anything to do with you now