What did your experience teach you about the importance of Marriage and about Commitment?
Most Helpful Girl
Yes, I've had a live in partner. We lived together instead of marrying because we were both still in school at the time and it was cheaper to live together than separately. I'm glad I didn't marry that asshole - he cheated on me.4
Most Helpful Guy
I did it for many years. Why? It just seemed like the thing to do. We literally never even talked about it. Starting out I spent the night at her place more and more. After a while I was living there, even if not officially for my mailing address and where my possessions were. When we moved to another place more officially, there was no discussion about if we would be living together. It was just assumed. We went on many years like that.
We didn't ask "Should we live together?". We only asked Where should we live?"
There was never any serious discussion about marriage. It came up a few times, but only very casually, almost more in passing. We were already a couple and there was no reason to get married.
What did my experience teach me? Well, I don't think it's experience so much as just my general feelings about it, and knowing how people are. It was never something important to the two of us, but I do think people are better off getting married.
It might sound trivial, but with something like a wedding ceremony, I don't think you can just write off the symbolism and tradition of it. It's easy to think the ceremony is unimportant if the couple has already made a commitment to each other. However, things like symbolism, tradition, props, witnesses, the preparation, the seriousness the occasion - they are far more deeply embedded in us than we might want to believe. Symbolism is all around us and it DOES affect us. Visual cues, music, art, formal situations, eye contact, a smile, or Gothic dress - they all affect us in a real way. Even people who reject symbolism and live a hippie lifestyle, have their own symbolism. I really believe it's a part of us.
Why commit to a lifetime at all? That's a different question altogether. But I think *IF* a couple wants to make a lifetime commitment, then the act of marriage really does enforce that commitment in a very real way.2