Wedding ideas for an already married atheist couple with very little time for planning and the bride has anxiety?

So my husband and I got forced into a last minute courthouse marriage because of reasons, but we both really wanted to have a nice wedding with dresses, suits, cake, flowers... everything. So, we decided to plan for a wedding at a later date. Problem is, not many people are in my situation and most internet searches for help are a dead end of disappointment.

-First off, being already married makes things odd. My internet search was filled with people criticizing others for asking and saying that a wedding after marriage is stupid and misleading. But my parents assure me it's becoming more common.

-And then the Atheist thing... "Well instead of your original vows find ways to talk about God solidifying your marriage!" Erm, how about a fat ol' AW HAAAAAIILLL NAAAAWWWW. Searching for wedding ideas came up with so. much. religious shite. NO.

-Now for one of the biggest wrenches in my wedding planning abilities: I have very little time to form a functioning celebration. Why? Because, my sweet fellow internet dwellers, I am not only active duty military but so is my husband and we're both deploying right when we (I [ he refuses to take part]) should be planning this shindig. We have four months after we come back before the weather becomes crappy and unpredictable.

-About the anxiety thing? Yeah, I have it and I refuse to take prescribed medication. Which kinda sucks because of that whole day supposedly being mine and PEOPLE STARING AT ME. Any ways to kinda offset the attention or have myself be calmer? I've heard sketchy things about beta blockers and something about not being able to drink (UNACCEPTABLE) when you take them.

So, any ideas to help me throw together a nice, short ceremony and mini reception? The majority of celebration will be a barbeque at my parent's house, but the ceremony and mini reception will be at my location of choice not far away.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I say plan what you want
    Think of a venue
    Look up some good catering companies to supply food
    Choose your dress and suits
    Since you are already married by law you don't even need an officiant, maybe instead you can get someone or a few people to say a few words and then someone really close to you can do the whole you can now kiss the bride business.
    Get your flowers and cake sorted.

    My aunty and uncle got married after 25 years of being engaged last year. It was a surprise for my aunty. My uncle and my mum and myself planned the whole thing, even though they weren't religious it was held at a cute little church close to them just because we know she really likes it, andthey did have an officiant but my uncle chose the shortest and least god like script. But as I said you don't even need to do this. The reception was held at their house with snack like food from the cattering company who when left left behind fresh bread rolls and a whole leg of ham and some cheese.

    • Oh another anxiety thing, having it be a more casual wedding will help a bit but I say just hold your husband's hands and focus on him, Mayne take a couple of shots before hand to take off the edge. But you don't want too much otherwise it will affect your beautiful day. I totally understand your situation I also have anxiety and refuse to take medication for it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm confused how an entire wedding and reception is supposed to happen without his help.

    Right now I would just do the courthouse thing and send out announcements with an amazon registry. No worries about your fiance not helping, no planning, no vows or whatever. If he ever decides to get his ass in gear and contribute maybe revisit the subject. But right now you're stressing yourself out over a crazy situation.

    • I even told him I need his help, straight up. Don't have an opinion on anything? Fine. But for the love of mother earth I'd wish he'd spit out some ideas at least. I know that man has preferences.

      I think you're right, I should probably stop trying to overwhelm myself with this stuff. I could wait until our second anniversary or something.

    • That's a really good idea! Then you can renew your vows at a time when it works for both of you and you won't drive yourself up the wall with no help.

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